I was seventeen when he proposed love to me. I was young then but when I looked at him, all I could see was a perfect gentleman. This man of mine was a good Christian gentleman who wouldn’t even hurt a fly. I gave him my heart and things progressed beautifully. Every time I set my eyes on him, the butterflies in my belly flutter in excitement. Even when he is near me, I get crazy butterflies. The sound of his voice alone was crazy enough to send tingles down my spine.

Our love was the kind I was sure would never end. You couldn’t separate me from him even if you tried. I was always with him. We lived in the same city so even when I gained admission to the university, I was still in his company all the time.

Sadly, I lost my dad the same month I started school. It was hell. I still go through the trauma after so many years. After losing my father, James became everything to me. I couldn’t wait to complete school so I would be his wife. This was a man I trusted so much that I knew I would sacrifice my life to save his.

After I completed school and then my national service, he paid my bride price in a beautiful marriage ceremony. A year later, we were blessed with a beautiful and smart baby boy.

Shortly after our baby arrived, my husband decided to relocate to a village elsewhere for work. I was not in support of this decision but he convinced me that it was for the best. I had to sacrifice to leave the city we stayed in and move to another city. The new city is closer to the village my husband moved to. I couldn’t have moved to the village with him because it was very remote. There was no good education for our boy.

At the time our baby was turning four, I had still not gained employment after completing school. So I decided to go back to school and further my education. He was supportive. I also supported his work. I visited him whenever I got the chance. He also us when he was on leave or during breaks. Although our living arrangements were not ideal, we made it work.

When I started school, I was so happy. It was not easy in the beginning but we got used to the pattern soon enough. That very year, we had our first serious quarrel. We fought because he stopped sleeping in the bedroom every time he visited. He always slept in the hall. When I confronted him he got defensive. He said he only stayed in the hall to work, and that he comes to bed after I had fallen asleep. I monitored him that night and found that he lied. I found him wrapped in a cloth comfortably sleeping on the couch. So we had our first heated argument. He insisted he was working. And that I was not as supportive as other people who were not his wife. He then said I didn’t have vision. I couldn’t believe my ears. After all these years, this is what you think of me?

He is the kind of man who never takes any initiative as the head of the family. When I bring up ideas, he just nods in agreement. But when things go wrong with my ideas, he blames me terribly. So I concluded that I married a snake under grass. He doesn’t make decisions. He only approves of the one I make yet when things go wrong I alone am to blame? Yes, that idiom fits him perfectly.

I was married but I felt lonely most of the time. We could sit together and not talk about anything until I bring something up. He is that boring. When I started complaining about how boring we were as a couple, he accused me of cheating on him. “If you were not comparing me to another man, why would you say all these things?” He asked. I wanted him to understand that I am young so I need excitement. He misunderstood me. “At least if you are going to be busy during the day, send me a message to let me know you are thinking of me.” He wouldn’t do it.

I would plan an outing for the two of us but my man would refuse to go out. Photoshoot? No, he wouldn’t do it. Nothing fun concerns him. He just wants to spend his days and months in a dark room and on his laptop.

When I went back to school, he paid my fees. That was it. The whole of 2023 he was nowhere to be found. We only had sex once that year. He had some bad investments so I told myself he was staying away because he was going through a lot. In his absence, I did the best I could to take care of myself and the little he sent to me every month, I spent it on my boy.

Things were tough but I was determined to complete school. I had to confide in my mum about my marital issues. My mum called my sister and they called my husband together. He said I have not offended him. Another time, my uncle spoke to him together with my mum. He maintained that I had not done anything that required forgiveness. So on December 31st 2023, I decided to call him and let him know that the silent treatment would not continue in 2024.

“Let’s be honest with each other. If you’ve fallen out of love with me, tell me,” I appealed to his emotions. That was when he said, “Something big happened. And I am not sure how we can move past it.” I pushed him further and asked if he had impregnated someone or had kids with another woman. I just had a strong feeling this was what was coming between us. He didn’t want to come clean at first but I was relentless. He finally confessed, “Yes, I got another woman pregnant. And she gave birth to twins.” I was speechless for a while. I asked if it was before we got married because I held on to the hope that he did not break our marriage vows.

Rude awakening. The lady gave birth in September 2022. That was the same year I found out I was pregnant in August. I was still in school, so my husband used that as an excuse to persuade me to get rid of the baby. He reminded me of how difficult my first pregnancy was and added that it would be more difficult now that school was involved. I did as he wanted, not knowing that he was going to welcome a set of twins the next month.

My trust in him is gone. My love for him has run down to zero. I tried to see if we could work things out, but I realised he keeps blaming me for what he did. He keeps making me look like I have been a devil all through our eleven years together. I feel like I have been a fool all this while. I married him after we dated for a couple of years but I am not sure I truly knew the person I married. I trusted this guy more than I even trusted myself but look what he did.

READ ALSO: I’m Not Able To Give Birth Because Of My Mother-In-Law

He doesn’t care that he betrayed me. He is not asking me to forgive him. He says my anger is just an extension of who I am. As if I go through life brewing in anger unprovoked. He makes me look like I am the worst woman on earth.

He tells me he will never marry his baby mama yet everything he does says he is tired of me and our marriage. I don’t know when I will ever recover from this. I wish there was a pill I could take to erase the trauma and pain he has caused me.

A Guy Caught Us Doing It And Started Raising An Alarm

I just don’t know how to forgive him. I don’t know how to go about it. But one thing I know for sure is that I can not see him in the same light again. I just want to know if I am overreacting by feeling this way. Maybe he expects me to thank him for what he did and then welcome the babies with open arms. I am sure that would have pleased him.

If you see the man in question, you won’t think he is the same person I am talking about. No one will trust anyone with all of their heart but you would trust him with yours. He carries himself about like a man who fears God. One would never think he would do such a thing, let alone keep a secret for over a year. Everyone is shocked. I, especially, am more shocked. I can’t get over it.

—Nyamekye

If you have a compelling story to share with us, you can email it to us at [email protected] or send us a voice note on WhatsApp number 0593290182.

#SB