Ella’s story prompted me to share something I experienced barely a month ago. It happened at my workplace, which happens to be one of the biggest hospitals in the country. I was going about my business at the hospital’s cafeteria when I bumped into someone I had never seen around before. He is a doctor, I could tell from the way he dressed. He wasn’t alone, and his companions are also doctors. I, on the other hand, am not a health worker. I am just a regular hospital staff.

Honestly, I wouldn’t have paid much attention to him had it not been that he smiled at me and said, “Hello!” Even with that, I still didn’t give him much thought. The only thing I noticed was that he wore a wedding band on his ring finger.

The next day I went to the cafeteria with friends for lunch as usual and ran into this same doctor from the previous day. This time around he was alone. He smiled at me again and said, “Hello, we meet again.” I smiled back and responded, “Yes.” He introduced himself and asked if we could be friends. Before I could give him an answer, I noticed something odd. He wasn’t wearing his ring that day. I have married men friends who occasionally remove their rings so I shrugged it off as one of those things.

When we left the cafeteria he started texting me. He wasn’t one to waste time. He went straight to the point, “To be honest, I am not only interested in becoming your friend. I am hoping I can become your husband.” The good thing is that I was not interested in dating or finding love, so I didn’t care for his attention. Besides, I was sure he is married so I had zero interest in him.

When I told him I wasn’t interested in him he didn’t want to accept it. He said, “Maybe if you get the chance to know me you would realize that I am a good guy.” I answered, “That’s not the point. You are a married man. Why would I want to be with you?” He responded with laughing emojis and added, “Where did you get that idea? I am very single.” I reminded him that he was wearing a wedding ring when I first met him. This man said he has never owned a wedding ring. He doesn’t have any woman in his life. And that I might have seen the ring on his friend’s finger, not his.

I became confused and wondered if I was truly mistaken. He further said, “You’ve probably been hurt badly in the past so you treat everyone as a bad person.” The thing is, I don’t go about assuming the worst of people. I am just an analytical person. While I hope for the best, I also make room for worst-case scenarios. I never take things at face value. I take everything apart until I am satisfied that I have gotten to the core of things. So when he made that statement, I decided to just give him the benefit of the doubt and get to know him first.

In the week, I didn’t go to work for one day. This guy went to my friends at work and asked them about me. He asked them what I like and what he can do to make me happy. When I came to work the next day my friends were all over me. They told me about their conversation with this doctor. “You should see his face when he spoke about you. He really likes you,” they said.

All of this didn’t get to my head because I felt strongly that something was off about him. In our conversations, he mentioned that he was writing some exams so he could travel abroad. He told me, “Pray, so everything works out for me. If it does, I will go with you.” The fact that he told me this while I hadn’t given him any indication that I liked him made him seem all the more wrong.

I have a friend at work, who is in another department. We meet up once in a while and catch up on our lives. We were having one such meetings when I brought up the doctor’s interest in me. I confided in her, “He is acting like he is the real deal, but everything about him seems wrong. I need you to tell me I am not doing my things again.”

She laughed and asked me the name of the doctor. When I mentioned his name she was shocked. She showed me his photo, “This is him, right?” I nodded and said yes. She then said, “I don’t think you are wrong. This same doctor has also expressed interest in me.” We both burst out in laughter. After all the jokes died down my friend said, “Maybe he is casting his net wide. He wants to know who will agree to his proposal. Let’s not write him off just yet.” So we agreed to act like we had no idea that he was talking to both of us.

A few days after that conversation, I saw his call on my phone. I watched the phone ring but I didn’t pick up. I had made up my mind that I would stop entertaining him. However, after the call ended, I called him back. I wanted to hear what he had to say first. His phone rang for a while but nobody picked up. Later, a number called me saying I had just called them. The only person I called was him but it wasn’t his voice I heard at the other end.

It was a woman’s voice. And she introduced herself as the doctor’s wife. As soon as I heard the word “wife” I started laughing. When I managed to control myself I said, “Sorry, I have just heard so much about you. It’s nice to finally talk to you. I’m your husband’s colleague at work. I called him because of a case we are working on.” She then explained that her husband’s call kept going to her phone. He must have accidentally forwarded his calls to her. She said she would pass on my message and I thanked her.

After we spoke, the doctor called me back. He said he was on the phone with his mother so he missed my call. When I told him that I had just spoken to his wife, he laughed. “You need to let go of your obsession that I am married. Trust me, there’s no woman in my life. Ask yourself, why would I try to woo you if I already have a wife?” He made the whole thing sound like I was a crazy person making up stories about him. So I accepted his explanation and hung up.

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The next thing I did was use Truecaller to find the woman’s name. When I found it, I searched for it on all the social media platforms. Thankfully, I found her on Facebook. All her information was on her profile. It was even there that she was married. Their wedding photos were there too. I clicked on her husband’s name and it led me to the doctor’s profile. The same man who made me sound crazy for pointing out that he is married. At the time he was wooing me, he was celebrating his second wedding anniversary. He had written a long post about how much he loves and appreciates his wife. I took a screenshot of everything including his wedding photos and sent it to him.

When he saw my photos, he got upset and rained insults on me. He called me nosy. How am I nosy when his wife posts their entire lives on social media? I even found out their home address from her post. Anyway, I called my friend (the one he was talking to alongside me) and told her what I found. She didn’t believe me until I sent her the screenshots. I also told my friends in my department about his deception.

We Agreed To Be Friends With Benefit | Silent Beads

I was tempted to send screenshots of all his declarations of love to his wife but I didn’t want to be responsible for her pain, so I changed my mind. When I saw Ella’s story, I was happy that she got the courage to involve the man’s wife. Maybe if the story had come out earlier, I would have drawn from her courage and also involved the doctor’s wife as well. But it’s alright. I am just glad that I found out about him in time and saved myself from drama.

After everything, we continue to run into each other at work. When he sees me, he looks away and walks fast. Me? I just laugh and go about my business. I just hope the next person he tries this on will be crazy enough to report him to his wife.

—Gail 

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