My love and I met on a trip almost three years ago. Although we had just met, the connection we felt toward each other kept pulling us close. The time we spent together was enough to make us fall in love. At the end of the trip, we went home to different cities. But that did not spell the end of the relationship we had nurtured. Love like ours does not cower in the face of long distance. Or maybe I should say it felt that way because the love was new.

We chatted and talked regularly. I also went to see him when I could. To make up for all the time we lost apart, we would spend the entire day together and the night as well. I liked everything we did together. There’s something intimate about sitting at a table to eat with someone you love. Don’t get me started on lying next to them. He liked to hold me, even when we were both asleep. I loved it.

We often went to the city together. He introduced me to his many friends and distant relatives, almost bragging about me. However, when I asked him to introduce me to his mum there was always something to prevent it from happening. “Oh, my mum would love to meet you but she is not well right now. I don’t want you to see her like that. Next time when you come for a visit, I will introduce you to her.” Next time he would say, “Oh, such bad timing. My mother has traveled to visit a distant relative. Hopefully, she would have returned by your next visit.” These were the kinds of excuses he gave me every time I brought up his mother.

At some point, he started talking about starting a family. “I want to have a baby with you,” he would often say. Despite all that, he did not introduce me to his mother when I got pregnant. Neither did I meet her when we lost the baby. No one in his nuclear family was present. It was just his friends and some of the relatives he introduced to me. I was hurt by all this but I found it in my heart to forgive him.

We had little problems here and there but the most repetitive one was about money. He said his first wife left him during the pandemic. “I lost my job and my ability to provide for her so she left,” he said. I let him understand that I was not interested in his money. I never asked him to give it. I have my own work. He had money but that was not why I fell in love with him. But it doesn’t hurt to make financial contributions to the relationship once in a while.

There was a time when we were walking on the streets. I saw some fruits I wanted but I didn’t have money on me so I asked him to buy some for me. This man didn’t even stop. He kept walking on as if he could not hear me. When I asked him why he ignored my request he said, “It’s street food. I don’t want you eating it and getting sick.” It did not sound convincing to me but I let it go. I also noticed that whenever he paid for something, he told me how much it cost. And every time I saw the receipts, I noticed that the prices there were always lower.

Regardless of all this, I told myself I was not interested in his money or what he did with it. I am more interested in the love we share. In his imperfections, I focused on the things I liked about him. The way he hugged me at night was number one on the list. Oh, he has this charming smile that just turns me into goo.

While I was trying so hard to hold on to the good, I started hearing rumors that he was courting other women. They said he was dating them for their money. He would ask them for loans, and then refuse to repay it. Some of the women caused a scene which always resulted in a big scandal. When I asked him about it, he said they were all lies.

READ ALSO: He Broke Up With Me Because Of A Fight We Had About Food

I wanted to believe him but a lot of things were not adding up. I have followed him to his workplace before so I don’t doubt that he had a job at some point. However, it got to a time when he stopped going to work. He was mostly at home saying there was no work. That is the nature of their job so I was not alarmed. My problem had to do with how he was spending his time.

He was at home yet was too busy to respond to my texts and calls. It was so unlike him but I was too far away to do anything about it. One night I was scrolling through Facebook when a picture popped up on my feed. The poster captioned the photo to indicate that the photo was taken that very day. Guess who was in the background unaware that he was in the shot? My man.

A Guy Caught Us Doing It And Started Raising An Alarm

I called him immediately to ask if he was working, but he said he was at home. I was too stunned to speak so I ended the call. I then texted him that I knew it wasn’t true. He called me and shouted at me for calling him a liar. “I am at home. Where did you get the impression that I am in the city?”  He claimed he was showing me his surroundings but nothing was visible except the dark night and the headlights of some cars. He was also sitting in his jeep and not his room. So why go all these lengths to lie about where you are if you are not hiding something?

I called him a fraud, and he just said okay, and hung up the phone. Since then, he hasn’t written to me. He hasn’t called either. The most painful part is that after everything he has done, the love I have for him refuses to quench. What do I do?

—Anna, Tanzania

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