I am the kind of person who likes to go through a man’s phone when we are dating. This has nothing to do with whether or not I respect their privacy. I only do this to protect myself. I am saying this because when I am dating someone I give them my all. I don’t entertain other men. I literally put all my eggs in one basket. So the last thing I want is to be loyal to a man who is doing other things on the side. I don’t want to end up looking like a fool, you know.

I respect my partners and I expect the same measure of respect in return. If I have a lot of men coming my way, and I reject all of them for you, then you should be able to draw healthy boundaries between you and other women. Whether they are throwing themselves at you or you are the one who finds them interesting, control yourself. I believe I am not asking for too much by demanding this. I am only asking for the bare minimum.

That’s why when I started dating Jojoe, I was going through his phone. He didn’t mind. He knew that my phone was also available for him to go through whenever he wanted. After all, I had nothing to hide. And all the times I also went through his phone, I found that he had nothing to hide. There were no suspicious messages between him and other women. There were clear indications that I was the only woman in his life. “This man truly loves me,” I thought as I made a conscious decision not to go through his phone again.

It was hard to stay away from the phone considering it had become something I did without intending to. However, I was invested in building trust between us so I truly stayed away from the phone. We are fine. We are happy, that’s what I would have said if you had asked how we were doing about seventy-two hours ago. It’s amazing how someone can drop from the pedestal you placed them on, just by a simple revelation of the things they do behind your back.

I am saying this because everything I feel about Jojoe has changed within the last two days. ECG switched off his lights. From morning till evening, he had no electricity. The power was on at my end so he brought his phone and laptop to me to charge for him. He doesn’t live too far from me. So he went back home while I charged his stuff.

Even when the gadgets were full, I didn’t touch them. I was respecting his privacy. For some reason, I kept getting this hunch that I should go through his phone. Soon enough, the urge overwhelmed me. Who am I not to hearken to the voice of God?

Lo and behold, only God knows what I found when I took his phone. While I was here being a faithful girlfriend, my man was out there making plans to go and meet his new girlfriend. Their plan is for my boyfriend to visit the lady at the end of this month. This is where I am convinced that no one ever cheats by accident. Could you believe Jojoe already told me he would be visiting his mother at the end of this month? From what I gather, the lady lives close to where his mother lives.

READ ALSO: I Hold A Special Place In Her Heart But I Am Still Not Good Enough To Be Her Boyfriend

I can tell that their relationship just started. So far he has only seen her pictures. I don’t even know how they met but I can confirm he is yet to meet her in person. I can’t believe this seemingly sweet man is plotting all this right under my nose. If I hadn’t gone into his phone, I never would have known he had it in him to do me dirty like this.

I don’t know how I feel. Ideally, I should be hurt but I am not entirely hurt. Maybe there is a part of me advocating that he hasn’t done it yet. What I feel above all else is anger. I don’t know if I should confront him, or sit and watch him go and do whatever he wants to do. After all, this is something he has planned and is looking forward to. Maybe I should let him do it so that when he returns from his trip I would just walk away from him.

I am so confused. I have been acting as if I haven’t seen anything. I play and laugh with him as though all is well between us. The truth is, this hard girl act is too difficult for me to keep up. I am not sure how much longer I can go on pretending. The end of the month is too far away and I am not a good enough actress to carry on the show.

The way I let go of all my mistrust for men and chose to trust this man only for him to disappoint me like this is just painful. I am surprised at how he behaves as if we are cool, knowing very well he has his sight set on another woman. This lady in question is not even prettier than me, so I don’t know what he wants from her that he can’t get from me. What do I do, guys?

—Esi

If you have a compelling story to share with us, you can email it to us at [email protected] or send us a voice note on WhatsApp number 0593290182.

#SB