We work at the same place, Maxwell and I. One thing I liked about him is that he comes from the same place as my father. I don’t know my father’s hometown. I only know what it’s called. I can’t even understand the language they speak over there. So I took Maxwell as a brother. I always joked that he would teach me his language and maybe take me to his hometown so I would meet my father’s people. Maxwell, on the other hand, did not have platonic or sisterly intentions toward me. He wanted me to be his girlfriend.

When he declared his intentions I told him, “I got out of a relationship not long ago. So I am not ready for another one yet.” He accepted the rejection with grace. And we continued with our friendship. A week before December last year, we closed early from work. While I was packing up my stuff to leave for home he asked, “It’s only 2 pm. What are you going to do from here?” I shrugged and told him I was going home. He then suggested we go hang out at his place.

I was still getting to know him so I agreed. We got there and started talking. To keep things exciting, we played “Truth or Dare?” Let’s just say I was sexually starved at the time. So things got a little out of hand, and we ended up sleeping together. The next day, I went to see him and it happened again. So from November to December, we had shuperu three times.

The third time happened in December, when we went on Christmas break. That day he hurt his hand before I left his place. When I went home, I didn’t keep in touch with him. I would have, but ever since whatever we were doing started, he made me feel like I was bothering him every time I called him. Sometimes he wouldn’t even pick up my calls. So I understood that phone calls and how are yous were not part of our arrangement. That’s why I didn’t check up on him. He, on the other hand, reached out a few times during the Christmas holidays.

On 1st January he called me and asked, “Is that how little you care about me? I was with you when I hurt my hand but you haven’t even called to ask how I am doing.” I was getting ready to leave the house when he called so I told him I would pass by his place to see him. He said he didn’t want to see me so I shouldn’t bother. The event I was attending was close to his place so I went anyway. When I got there he wasn’t home. “I am going to see some friends off but I will be back soon. Wait for me,” he said.

Considering that he had a habit of making me wait for him every time I visited, I got the impression that he didn’t respect me or my time. So I decided not to wait for him that day. I was on the way to my event when I saw him holding hands with another lady. Their foreheads were even touching. Wow! I didn’t say anything to him. We looked at each other, but I went my way as if I had just stumbled upon a random couple.

Thirty minutes later, he called me expecting an angry reaction. He didn’t get any because I wasn’t angry. He wasn’t my boyfriend so what was there to be upset about? When work resumed, I related with him as professionally as I always did. He also stopped hiding his true nature from me. See, after that incident, five different ladies came to our workplace to look for him. It was obvious he had something amorous going on with them.

One thing I observed when I got close to Maxwell was his financial situation. He is broke. I used to bring food to work for us to eat together. However, after I saw him with that girl, I stopped. And I observed that he was attaching himself to girls he could get something from. Some of them gave him money, while others gave him shuperu. We work in the university so you can imagine just how many young women we deal with on a daily basis. He is good at the games he plays. He knows what to say and how to act to make you feel special.

After everything he did and everything I saw, this guy came to me with another love proposal. “I love you. I will be so happy if you agree to be my girlfriend.” I turned him down immediately. You should see Maxwell acting like a victim. “You know how I feel about you but every time I express my feelings, you turn me down. What do you have against me that you can’t be in a relationship with me?” I suppose that’s what happens when you get in bed with a narcissist. Thankfully, my past relationship with my ex was toxic so I learned my lessons.

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I decided not to allow this guy to use me as an emotional punching bag. You know how these f**k boys behave. Today, they are embracing you, and telling you they love you. The moment they see a new girl, they push you away and go running after her. When she serves her purpose, then they come running back to you acting like a victim. Anyway, I steered clear of any romantic relationships with him and kept things professional.

This guy didn’t even pretend to change his ways a little. Ever since the last time we were together, I have lost count of the number of girls he has gone through, not that I am counting. We work together and the girls come to him when we are working. So I can’t help but see them. Every new girl that he meets, he would take their number and be flirting with them. At some point, he even started telling me about the girls. There was a particular one he claimed he was studying to date. When I asked about his other girls he responded, “I am looking for the kind of woman who will not stress me. I want peace of mind.”

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What he actually meant was that he was looking for the kind of woman who would excuse his playboy behaviour. Someone he can easily manipulate and date other girls on the side. After everything I have seen after I got involved with him, I can say that I dodged a bullet. Imagine if I had agreed to his proposal and we were in a committed relationship. Would he have shown me this side of him? No, I don’t think so. I would have invested my time, energy, and emotions in him for however long, before I come to know who he truly is.

I know some people will say, I slept with him so he got what he wanted from me already. Well, if that’s how you see it, that’s your problem. I refuse to let sex determine my worth. I wasn’t going to settle for less than I knew I deserved, just because we slept together. I know I can’t directly tell the other girls to be careful of him. That’s why I have brought my story here. Maybe one of them will see it, or someone else who has a Maxwell in their life will read it and watch out for the signs. It’s raining players are liars out there ladies, let’s be vigilant.

—Chelsea

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