He was a single father when I met him. He worked as a driver while raising the child. This restricted his movements somehow. He couldn’t accept jobs that took him far away from home. He did his best to be a present father but any woman who saw him knew he lacked a woman’s touch in his life. 

He knew it himself that he needed a companion, someone who would help him be the father he was trying so hard to be. A woman who had a heart big enough to love him and his child. He wanted their family to be complete so he was busy searching for the missing piece of the puzzle. 

I was that woman for him. The timing was right for me to meet someone. I was also a single mother doing my best to raise my child. The father of my child is not in the picture. He is alive but not in our lives. Right from the beginning, he denied the pregnancy. He hasn’t come back to claim the child till now, and she is seven years old. It was just me and my daughter until I met Joshua.

Unlike in my case, Joshua’s child’s mother is not present. She passed away eight years ago. The two of us had voids in our hearts that needed filling. And our love did that. Where I was weak he was strong. Where he was down, I was up. We supported everything the other did by contributing efforts. It was teamwork all the way. 

When we finally got married, I took both our kids to live with my mum. It was my way of giving the two of us the opportunity to be a couple without our kids. The plan was for them to stay with her only for a while but we realized the arrangement worked for us. I got the chance to work and so did he.

Apart from the individual kids that we brought into the marriage, we don’t have any children together. When we work, we would send money to my mum to take care of the children. When my husband paid school fees for his child and added a little extra for his pocket money, it ended there. He didn’t do anything else for his own child.

The child’s clothes, shoes, bags, and school supplies, among other necessities, fall on me or my mum. As for my child, I pay for everything she needs. I didn’t complain about my husband’s attitude toward his child even though it was upsetting. 

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If it was bad before, now it’s worse. His car broke down six months ago. Since then, he hasn’t provided anything at all. When I ask him for something he tells me, “You know I am no longer going to work. Where do you want me to get the money for you?” He acts as if it’s not neccessary for him to find something else to do for money. As though we don’t have bills to pay and kids to take care of. 

I am trying to keep us afloat but the burden is too much. Rent, Children’s school upkeep, and feeding are all on me: I am not Tarzan to do it all. 

All Four Side Chicks Have To Come Together To Cause His Arrest

His family is aware of our situation but no one is saying anything. He has not been advised. They also haven’t attempted to pitch in to help with the expenses. I am crushing under the weight of it all. How do I keep a family of four afloat with less than GHC500 as a monthly salary? That’s how little I earn.

I can’t do it anymore. So I have decided to divorce him. It will be easier for me to take care of myself and my child than to add a grown man and his child to it? Am I a bad wife for feeling this way? I am so fed up. 

— Aimah

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