A man came to sit next to me at a program I didn’t have any reason to be there. It was meant for the rich but I found myself there because of the organization I was working with. I didn’t play small because I didn’t belong to that level. I played the part and looked the part. For some hours, I felt like a rich woman whose riches were on the sea coming.

This gentleman came to sit next to me and started talking to me about the program. When we went on a break, he came offering me a drink and I took it. He hung around me until the break was over, asking questions about business and what I was into. I told him the truth, “I have no business being here. I’m here because my organization threw me here.”

He laughed and gave me his card to give him a call so we hang out sometime. Truth be told, I liked him. He looked like a gentleman and I felt you wouldn’t find a bad man at such events. I called the number in the evening thanking him for his company and the drink he bought me.

One afternoon, we met at lunch and he later agreed to take me to the office. I don’t know much about cars but this guy had one of those big cars that look like mansions on wheels. You don’t sit in it. You sleep in it. He didn’t open the door for me. He just entered and asked me to come along. The door handle was different from any car I’d ever known but once I stretched my hand, sense found me so figured out how to open the door.

This guy dropped me at the office and stopped answering my calls, just when I’d built my hopes up for a relationship. “Ah, what happened at the lunch? Did I say something wrong?”

After a week, I sent him a message, “I thought we were friends but if you don’t want me to contact you again, please tell me so I stop.”

He didn’t respond until three months later when he commented on my Whatsapp status with an emoji. We got talking. Clearly, I wasn’t part of his plans but I asked what happened and he told me, “It might sound crazy but the way you opened the car door without asking for help raised red flags for me. Everyone asks for help. It only meant you know too much and have seen too much. Hmmm… I’m not after that kind of girls.”

“Ah! Seriously?”

Yeah, that’s how I lost a relationship even before I entered it. Just because I figured it out without help, he felt I hop from car to car so I wasn’t marriage material. So, girls, that’s the new thing out there. If you like him, even if he’s driving trotro, please ask for help, or else you’ll lose him.

Men? Tweakai!

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—Tiwa

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