I was a loner. Well, I am still a loner. Truth be told, I have always been in my own company. I come from a broken home. By that I mean, the typical broken home where I grew up with a single mother. Even how I grew up with my mother was broken. She didn’t really have time for me and my siblings. Her focus was on putting food on the table. Once you are fed, you have to fight for everything else you want yourself. That is why I couldn’t further my education after I completed SHS. I have the grades and the desire to do so, but where is the money?

During my moments of figuring out how to further my education, my boyfriend left me. I was deeply hurt because he was the only good thing in my life at that moment. I didn’t have any friends to fall on for comfort so I became more isolated than I had ever been. I resolved to focus on my future and try my possible best to save money and go back to school. Everything was going according to plan until I met Stanley. When he tried to get my attention I didn’t mind him. I had written off men, and he was a man, so that meant he was off limits. This guy was educated and accomplished. Compared to my background, let me say he is rich.

No amount of “I am not interested in getting to know you,” was enough to put him off. He just wasn’t someone who took “No” for an answer. He often told me, “Liz, you can’t be alone for the rest of your life. You need someone in your corner. Everybody needs someone. Give me the opportunity to show you how much better your life can be if you have me taking care of you.” I asked him, “Don’t you think I am too young for you? Look at the differences in our backgrounds even. You are rich but I’m not. Education wise too, I am not your match. How can you want someone like me?” He answered all my questions perfectly. “Age doesn’t matter when it comes to love. All that matters is that we are both consenting adults. As for the differences in our backgrounds, you don’t have to worry. My goal is to help you improve yourself.”

He sounded so sincere, so I decided to give him a chance. His place was close to mine so we were always together. He was either at my place, or I was at his place. I didn’t have money to offer him but I offered him my time, energy, and love. I gave him love from the deepest part of my soul. And I cooked for him and constantly cleaned his place. I did this out of the love and friendship we shared. For the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged with someone. And I was happy that I had someone who had my interests at heart. The only problem I had with him was his attitude toward marriage. When the topic came up he said, “You know I love you. And I am determined to help you grow. We can live happily together, but I can’t marry you. Don’t worry it’s not you, it’s me. I don’t believe in marriage. So let’s be together without the pressure of marriage.”

This didn’t sit well with me, but I felt maybe someday he would change his mind. As time went on, we had some conversations about my going back to school. He told me to give him some time to pool some resources together so I would start applying for schools. I was happy. It’s probably why I missed some of the red flags. One of them was, he never allowed me to touch his phone. The other one was, he didn’t answer certain calls in my presence. Initially, I thought he just didn’t want me to breach his privacy. Then he travelled to Cape Coast and returned with a new attitude. The first thing he told me was, “I need some space, so from now on, don’t visit me without calling me first.”

I didn’t understand the sudden change in his behaviour but I made excuses for him. I told myself he was probably overwhelmed with work and that things would soon go back to how they used to be. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the case. He became unavailable to talk to me. I had to call him several times before he would return a single call. And he only came to see me when he wanted to do shuperu. I knew I shouldn’t let him touch me with the way he was behaving, but I felt if I gave myself to him he would have a reason to keep talking to me. I just wanted to be his friend. I wanted him to care for me one more time, and laugh with me. However, he only did that when he felt like sleeping with me.

Along the line, he told me; “The reason I have changed toward you is that I am married, and my wife found out about us.” I almost believed him but after putting one and two things together I realized he was lying. I told him, “I know you are not married, but maybe you’ve met someone else.” He denied it. Then I had dreams about him. In the dreams, he met me in public but he ignored me. I prayed against such a thing happening and hoped that he would come back to me.

READ MORE: Just Ten Months Into The Relationship And I Have Caught Her With 3 Different Men

His inconsistency continued until one day I closed from work and passed by his place. The moment I got there I saw him escorting a fair lady out of his room. He walked by me with a straight face as if I was a stranger to him. I stood there in utter shock, watching their backs until they disappeared. So far he hasn’t shown any remorse for his actions. I had the urge to text him and ask for explanations but I didn’t do it.

I’m broken. I constantly ask myself why he discarded me as if I didn’t mean anything to him. Is it because I’m poor? Or because I don’t have a degree? Or maybe it’s because I am not fair or beautiful. I thought God sent me an angel, but he turned out to be a man who just wanted to take advantage of a twenty-year-old struggling girl. I wish I had someone to lean on but I don’t. So I lock myself in my room and cry. I am hoping that one day this hurt will all go away, and I will feel better.

—Liz

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