He made me so angry that I told him to learn how to treat a lady. “Women like to feel loved and cherished. It is the only way we will feel safe enough to consider getting intimate with you.” He looked at me as if I was speaking in some strange tongue. So I asked him, “As a man, how do you feel about undressing a woman you’ve never invested in?” The next thing I knew, he had sent me a breakup message. Seriously, did I say something wrong?

This is a man who tried so hard to get my attention. He started by reacting to my stories. From there he moved to my DMs and we started chatting. We didn’t really start out as friends. He expressed romantic interest in me right from the beginning.

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This is someone I barely knew. I felt he should take his time for us to build some friendship first. He, on the other hand, didn’t take no for an answer. He stuck around for six years, popping by once in a while to remind me of his interest. 

Eventually, he wore me down. I agreed to meet him despite the fact that I still didn’t know him well enough. I decided that after all, what better way to know someone than to meet them in person?

His energy was off right from the beginning. Why would you call a woman you are meeting for the first time, “My wife”? It made me uncomfortable. I told him, “Don’t call me that. Address me as Silver, that’s my name.” 

When we moved past that, he brought his proposal to the table again. I told him I wanted us to take things slow. “Let’s get to know each other well before we jump into a relationship.” 

He seemed to agree with me but his behaviour afterward was something else. He wouldn’t call me unless to ask, “When can I see you?” I would start to make arrangements but he would initiate a sexual conversation. So I would turn down his request to meet.

The few times I agreed to meet him, he showed up late. On days I decided not to see him because he was late, he would get mad at me. He has called me all sorts of names because of this; rude, stubborn, name them.

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Even though I felt right to have done what I did, I would still apologize to him. “All I ask is that you let me know you are running late. It’s not fun to be kept waiting, you know,” I’d say softly, lest I bruise his masculinity.

One day we arranged to meet again. This time around he got touchy. When I asked him to stop, he got angry and shouted, “Get out! Get out of my car if you won’t let me touch you.” I was stunned by his response but I played it cool. I got out of the car and went home.

When I arrived, I thanked him for coming for the evening. “I am not happy with the way you are behaving at all,” he said. Then he went on to say something sexual. That was when I snapped at him and said, “Women want to feel loved and cherished before they consider getting intimate with you.” We all know from here how the conversation flowed into his breakup message. 

In his breakup message, he said I was too materialistic and stubborn. “As for me, I can’t be with a stubborn woman.” Was I wrong for telling him about my expectations? It’s as if he wanted me to keep quiet and take whatever he dishes out.

—Claire

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