Charles’ house was beside our school. He was a young football player that everyone admired. There were rumors that he was going to be a big star someday. Tell me, which young girl wouldn’t want to be the girlfriend of a famous player? This is why I always watched Charles from afar. I wanted to catch his eye and his interest. I wanted to be the girl on his arms when he made it. I pictured the life we would live, and it was fancy.

I was in class one day when his cousin dropped a letter in my hands. “Charles said I should give this to you,” he whispered. I was surprised and confused at first, but my curiosity overshadowed all my other emotions. With trembling hands, I opened the letter. It was a love letter, my first one ever. The content of the letter had me blushing like a virgin bride on her wedding night. The boy of my dreams had sent me a letter asking me to be his girlfriend.

I took a pen and wrote, “My dear Charles, the seven colors of the rainbow have given me the opportunity to respond to your letter. My answer is simple; yes, I will be your girlfriend.” I gave my letter to his cousin to deliver to him. I already knew I wanted to be with him so why waste time? I became his girlfriend. We agreed to act as if we were not together but soon enough, word started spreading. The kids in our school and our neighborhood heard about our relationship. Even our parents found out about us. I don’t know how his people took it, but it wasn’t pretty on my side. I was shouted at, insulted, and threatened with all sorts of violence.

Although I was Charles’ girlfriend, I did not dare to speak to him openly. There were too many eyes watching us. So we had someone acting as a “betweener”. I am still looking for that guy today, so I would thank him for his good work back in the day. He used to spoil me with yogurt. And he was good at arranging our rendezvous. Which were usually at Interschools Sports competitions, 6th March, Christmas, and Easter events.

Come to think of it, we had our first kiss at one of those rendezvous. Unfortunately for me, the joy of the kiss was short-lived. That very day, my brother found out I kissed a boy. He held a knife to my throat and threatened to kill me. I don’t know how I survived that day, honestly. I am sure my brother thought by doing that to me, I would stay away from Charles. However, it only made me more determined to be with him.

One day after school, I wore my newest dress. It was a gift my uncle sent to me from Germany. I wanted to look fancy for Charles so I wore it to his place. He had broken up with me over the fact that I wasn’t ready to have shuperu with him. At that age, I believed I would cease to exist if he ceased to be my boyfriend. So I dressed nicely and went to his house to beg him to take me back. He did his best to convince me to let him do it just once, but I refused. However, I managed to patch things up with him.

When I returned home, my mum and siblings were not home. So I went over to my dad’s place hoping to find them there. They were there alright, but they were also angry. The fact that I didn’t die at my parents’ hands that day means I am not destined to die at their hands. They beat me like the way angry mobs beat thieves. I thought I would lose consciousness at some point. My father crowned the beating by using his car key on my head. By the time they were done with me, I was covered in blood. This is a day I will never forget for as long as I live.

They thought they were beating the love out of me but what they did only strengthened my love for Charles. We dated for seven years. Somewhere in our seventh year, he told me, “If after all these years, you still won’t give yourself to me then let’s break up.” I thought he was bluffing so I told him, “If sex is so important to you then go ahead and sleep with any girl who is willing to give it to you.” I was only trying to call his bluff. But this guy went ahead and did as I permitted him. He gave me detailed accounts of all his conquests. He even had a special notebook with the names of the girls in it.

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His behavior broke my heart but I still loved him with the pieces. I thought if I held on a little tighter he would change. Well, that didn’t happen. I stopped hearing from him all of a sudden, only to hear from his friends that he traveled to Accra to pursue his dreams. The news broke my heart for a second time. I grieved, I healed, and I moved on.

I met someone who loves me dearly and I gave all of me to that person. By the time Charles returned to our town, I had a baby with my new beau. He came to visit me and saw the child, but he still wanted to have me. He was pained to see me, “So make me understand this. You denied me shuperu for seven years, but the minute I left town you got pregnant for the next available man. Why did you choose to hurt me like this? Do you hate me that much?” I explained to him that I wasn’t ready when I was with him, but he didn’t understand.

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We lost communication again after he left. Later, I heard he traveled abroad to pursue his football career. I also got married to my baby daddy and had more beautiful children with him. We have relocated abroad, so I got in touch with Charles. When we spoke he was still saying I hurt him. “Tsoenam, you are a wicked person. You punished me all those years we were together. I am not exaggerating when I tell you I am hurt by the way you treated me.” He is still looking for Mrs. Right.

Honestly, if I could turn back the hand of time, I would have done it with him. I guess I was just so afraid back then, especially after everything my parents did to me. But what is done is done. There’s no point in rehashing a past that cannot be changed. I shared this story with him and he asked me to go ahead and post it here. He says people will tell me I was wicked to him. Is he right? Was I wicked to him? Or was he the wicked one?

#MyFirstRelationship

—Tsoenam

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