I am the sort of person who enjoys celebrating the people in my life. When it’s time for occasions like birthdays, Valentine’s day, Christmas, and any other meaningful event, I go big on gifts and I come up with elaborate plans to make the day memorable. One person who benefits more than anything from this habit of mine is my boyfriend, Seko. We have been together for three years now so he knows me very well and knows how important it is to me to celebrate with people. He has even given me the nickname, “Celebration Madam”.
Apart from him, everyone else around me also gets to enjoy themselves during these special occasions. I am a big believer in employing grand gestures and little gestures to put a smile on someone’s face and make them feel appreciated, valued, and loved. This belief is one thing that has guided me in all my relationships. When it comes to Seko, I don’t even wait for occasions to make him feel special. Sometimes I plan surprise dates and I take care of everything. All he gets to do is show up and get spoiled. We would either go to a restaurant or to a cool place I discovered.
There are times I would deliver gifts to him as a surprise. It could be food, customized watches, or something he had spoken of buying. On our first Valentine’s Day together I got him gifts while he got me nothing. When I asked why, he told me, “Oh, I didn’t get you anything because I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. I don’t believe in putting aside a day to celebrate love.” I felt disappointed hearing him say that but I didn’t push it. I just learned not to expect anything from him on Valentine’s Day anymore. He wouldn’t even send a simple, “Happy Valentine’s Day” text.
Val’s days with him are disappointing but my birthdays with him are always heartbreaking. While l go all out for him on his birthdays, the best thing I receive from him on my birthday is a birthday text. The one time he planned to do something special by taking me on a trip to celebrate was a complete disaster. It was a long-distance trip so I made some snacks for the road. When we got to our destination, I realized he had planned to meet his old schoolmates over there. He briefly introduced me to them and then asked me to excuse them for a while. I went to sit somewhere isolated while he chatted and laughed loudly with his friends.
The worst thing that happened on the trip was that my boyfriend didn’t arrange for food or drinks. Thankfully, I had the snacks I made. That was the only meal I ate during the entire time we were out. I am not trying to sound ungrateful but how can you take someone out and not even buy a drink from the place you visited? So if I hadn’t gone along with pie and juice what would have happened? He would have watched me starve?
READ ALSO: I Thought A God-Fearing Man Was An Answer To My Relationship Problems Until I Got One
That single act was what gave me perspective on our entire relationship. I realized I was the only one who put in efforts to make him feel loved. When it came to me he wouldn’t do anything. And when I complain, I would come across as someone who does things for people with the expectation that they would treat me the same, but that is not the case. It’s just nice to celebrate people in your life. I doubt there is anyone out there who wouldn’t enjoy being spoiled once in a while by someone they love.
What Would You Do If I Died Today? | Beads Media
There was a time I sat him down and told him, “I am not asking you for the world. I just want you to show by action that you love me. It doesn’t always have to be cute text messages. You can just get me a little gift to let me know that you were thinking of me when you picked it out.” He apologized, “I am sorry. I know how much these things mean to you. I will do better, I promise.” But after the apology, nothing changed. And the one question I asked myself was, “How can he be this insensitive to my needs?”
l can’t help but feel hurt by his neglect. I know you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. He is who he is and no amount of talking would change him. So I have learned to keep my expectations in check and also be laid back when it comes to celebrating him. Ever since I adopted this approach, our relationship is as dry as a cactus. We don’t go out, we don’t do any celebrations. We are just there like an old boring couple. Is it normal to have this kind of relationship? Am I overthinking things or something isn’t right? I am not sure if this is a problem. All I can say is that I am not happy with the way things are.
–Bee
Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]
NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG.
#SB
Hmm you are right but some how you are also wrong since in the first place he told you he does not like celebrating. You were not supposed to expect anything from him. Mind this could be how he was brought up. And if you see that your relationship is dry you have to make this relationship moist by iventing new games , don’t forget to communicate with him. If there is no change you can leave cause a relationship without joy is good as a dead one.
Are you sure of his love?
Madam if you are not feeling it, please leave
Don’t give yourself unnecessary pressure
This is me right THERE!! I’M very thoughtful and go out of my way to make others happy especially in relationships but unfortunately I didn’t receive that in my previous relationship. Its not something grand just an EFFORT to show that I’m on your mind and that you love me is enough. It’s easy to say that don’t expect anything if he is not like that but it’s painful and exhausting if it’s one sided. But they are happy when you do it for them😏. Why can you do what makes me happy as well. Its the bare minimum
Chai, this one di333 I will comment some. My girlfriend is supposedly the romantic type but she has never (NEVER) gotten me even a pin since we started dating. I go out of my way to spoil her with gifts, trips and outings hoping she will get the point. I even sat her down a number of times to remind her but nothing! For me, love is about going out of your way to show your partner that you think of them. It’s not about the cost of the gift but the thinking that went into it.
My sister, he doesn’t feel the same way for you. You using that new approach and he still remains oblivious of the fact that you’ve changed, just means the feeling is not mutual. Don’t think too hard, he doesn’t feel the same way for you. If he did, he would at least noticed your change in attitude and tried to do something about it because someone who loves you will do anything humanly possible to make you happy as long as it doesn’t go against God. I won’t be surprised if you tried to end this relationship and he does nothing about it. Please don’t waste your time on him, put it in prayers that God help you find someone who will love you unconditionally.