I am at a crossroads right now, and I don’t know what to do. Right from the beginning, I didn’t know that this relationship would go far. He seemed like a good guy, but I wasn’t sure we would work out. Still, I liked him enough to give him a chance so we would try to make it work.
Even when the relationship began, I didn’t have hope for us. Nonetheless, he proved me wrong. From the beginning until now, Mark has proven himself worthy of being my ideal man. I know beyond reasonable doubt that he loves me. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for me.
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Honestly, he is a man I want to keep as a husband. The only thing troubling me is his tribe. Well, I am not the one who has a problem with it. The person who wouldn’t accept him is my dad. Even before I started dating, he warned me against marrying anyone from his tribe. He didn’t say it lightly enough for me to think he would change his mind. He made it clear it was a no-no.
I tried to be his obedient daughter. My entire life, I didn’t go near men from that tribe when it came to relationships. I thought I would stay the course, but love came around and knocked me off my feet. That’s why when I agreed to date Mark, I was cautious. I didn’t want to get too attached in case we got to the marriage stage and my dad objected.
However, Mark is not the kind of man to be loved in doses. He loved me so hard that I didn’t have a choice but to fall absolutely in love with him. When we realized how much we meant to each other, we started making plans for marriage. “We should tie the knot by next year,” we agreed.
As we made preparations, I introduced him to my mother and my siblings. They all fell in love with him. The next person he was supposed to meet was my dad. Considering his stance on the issue of tribe, I didn’t have the courage to introduce Mark to him.
Maybe if I had a little more time, I would have found a way to ease him into it. But time is not a luxury I can afford right now. I found out recently that I am ten weeks pregnant. How is this man going to take it? Not only did I go against him and ended up dating a man from his forbidden tribe, but I have also gotten pregnant out of wedlock.
I know I should have been extra careful with contraception, but what is done is done. My concern now is the way forward. I have a good job that pays me well. Mark also has a good job, and he has been nothing short of an amazing partner since this whole pregnancy news came out.
The two of us have decided to keep the pregnancy. It feels like the right thing to do, but I am not certain if it’s a good idea, especially when I factor in our marriage plans.
She Left Me To Marry A Man Who Was Ready For Marriage
Where I come from, a man cannot pay the bride price of a pregnant lady until she gives birth. Now my fear is, what if my father refuses to accept my dowry from Mark even after I have given birth because of this whole tribe issue? He could even use the fact that he impregnated me before marrying me to make his case.
I am worried about all this, but I don’t intend to get rid of the pregnancy either. So how do I break the news to my dad without suffering repercussions from it? I don’t know anyone who can talk to him on my behalf. That’s why I’m here looking for advice. What do I do?
— Bridget
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The best person to work on your father is your mother. Get her on your side and let her plead your case for you.
I think you are looking for solutions at the wrong place because the solution is already in you. Your case is straight forward. The day you defied your father and talked extensively with someone from a tribe he had already forbidden you from going into a relationship was the day you solved your problem. If you were bold enough to defy his orders, you should use that same courage to tell him that you have found a man who loves you but happens to be from the tribe he doesn’t approve of. My word of caution to you though is that,enlist your mother and siblings on that day to be with you when you break the information to him. Good luck .
Yh .
“Close yours till after marriage.” But NO! It’s very difficult for my generation. I can only pray that God shows you mercy and give you wisdom on how to go through this.
Correction- *close your legs*
One thing I’ve always done when it comes to dealing with difficult people is to pray about them.
Take time to pray for his heart to be softened and love your man; Include everyone from his side.
I’ve been where you are and everything fell into place by God’s grace