When I felt I was ready to give love a chance again, I decided to try my luck with online dating. I know some of these apps have now gained a reputation for hookups. Those were the ones I avoided. In my search, I found Badoo. It’s also an online dating app. Out of curiosity I signed up and created a profile. I didn’t want to catfish anyone or mislead them in any way. So I was as honest about myself as the app permitted me.

When I finally started looking at other people’s profiles, I found that it was not so easy to find a favorable match. I was surrounded by a sea of men I barely had anything in common with. “I thought using algorithms to find a match would be easier but here we are. None of these profiles appeal to me,” I said as I almost gave up. I came so close. However, right after I took the decision to delete my account and continue my search in the physical world, I found Nii’s profile.

The picture he used had me saying, “Who is this beautiful man?” Although it was just a photo, his warm smile and piercing brown eyes spoke to me. I smiled as I read his bio and found him not dull at all. Instinctively, I swiped right.

This is my first attempt at online dating. I had no idea how things would turn out but I was ready to keep an open mind and let things take their natural course. Really, that helped when Nii and I started talking. I was absolutely myself, and so was he.

Our conversations flowed so effortlessly. The jokes and the anecdotes about our lives became the glue that bonded us. Everything between us felt as if we had known each other for our entire lives.

Nii is charming, witty, and genuinely interested in getting to know me. We bonded over our shared love of literature, music, and adventure. It didn’t take long before we took things off the app and started having phone conversations. His thoughtful questions and empathetic listening made me feel truly seen. I didn’t have to explain myself too much to be understood. If you know this feeling, then you know how refreshing it is.

As we continued talking, I found myself increasingly captivated by Nii’s many wonderful qualities. He is tall, dark, and handsome, with a quick wit (Yes, I know I mentioned his wits already but this one is for emphasis), and an infectious laugh that comes in handy whenever I am down. Taking to him feels like sunshine always.

I also admire his kindness, compassion, and genuine care for others. This guy has captured my heart. I even envisioned us together in my daydreams.

However, as our conversations deepened, we talked about religion. “I am a staunch Christian,” I proudly announced. I mentioned where I fellowship and asked about his church too. Without hesitation he said, “Oh I don’t do the whole church or religion thing. I am an atheist.” My heart skipped a beat when I heard this. He might as well have said he wasn’t interested in me romantically. Truly, that’s how it felt.

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As a devout Christian, my faith is central to my life. And I’ve always envisioned sharing it with a partner who holds similar beliefs. If we were to have children, I would want them raised with the same Christian values my family instilled in me.

Because of this new development, I feel torn. I don’t know if I should nip everything in the bud before it fully blooms into a complicated affair or if I should give him the benefit of the doubt and allow us to explore what we have. Who knows? We might find common ground if we establish a strong foundation.

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I ask myself that if I let him go, what are the chances that I will find someone else who shares the same traits I find admirable in Nii but also has the same Christian faith as me? Is it worth holding on to him? Or I should save myself the trouble and prioritize my faith. This is my dilemma.

If you were in my shoes, would you focus on the values and principles that Nii and I share, even if our beliefs differ? Or would you trust your instincts and look for someone whose beliefs align more closely with yours? Nii keeps telling me we can make it work but I don’t know what to think. That’s why I want to hear your thoughts and advice on navigating this challenging situation.

— Asabea

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