Eric and I have been working together for the past five years. That’s how we met. Over the years, we grew close. Through our closeness, I saw signs that he was interested in me. I also liked him so I expected him to say something. When he didn’t, I started having doubts that he had any feelings for me. I asked myself, “How sure am I that it’s not all in my head? Maybe because I like him, I am forcing myself to read meaning into things.”

However, everyone else around us started talking. “He likes you,” they all said. When I tried to tell them it was just friendship between us they teased me. “Do you truly believe it’s just friendship? Look at the way he behaves around you. That’s a man in love right there,” they were so sure of it. Once again, it didn’t matter what they said. Eric hadn’t said anything to imply he wanted me more than friendship.

It was only a few months ago that he finally stepped forward and expressed his love for me. “I have wanted you to be my girlfriend for a while now. But I didn’t want to rush, that’s why I took my time to get to know you better. Now that I’m sure of who you are, I would like you to give me a chance to be your boyfriend.” As I stated earlier, I also liked him. So I didn’t do that whole, “Give me time to think about it,” thing. I accepted his proposal almost immediately, and things kicked off from there.

I have a child. Eric has always known this. Because he was my friend first, I told him whatever was going on in my parenting journey. There’s nothing he doesn’t know about my child. I trusted that he walked into the relationship fully aware of what to expect.

This is why I was so confused when he came to me one month into the relationship with a message from his mother. This is what he said; “My mother says she would not sit down and watch me take care of another man’s child.” I was surprised. Most importantly, I was angry. This is a man I work with. He knows I take care of my child without collecting or expecting money from any man. And it’s not as if I asked him to take care of my child when we started dating.

He couldn’t explain this to his mother in my defense. Rather, he tried to break up with me. I had to have a lengthy conversation with him about responsibilities and expectations in the relationship before he had a change of heart, and we continued the relationship.

My baby daddy is somehow troublesome. Sometimes he would start a custody battle with me, trying to take the child, in an attempt to frustrate my life. We would fight and fight until he got tired and retreated. When I started dating Eric, he started his things again. He came trying to take the child away. As always, I refused and it became an issue.

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I am not someone who keeps things to myself when I’m in a relationship. I try to be as transparent with my partner as possible. I did the same thing with Eric. I opened up to him about the problems I was having with my child’s father. I had no expectations; only that he should be in the know. Could you believe that this guy told me, “I can’t be part of your baby daddy drama”? That one too, he said he wanted out. I had to sit him down again and persuade him to reconsider his decision before we continued the relationship.

Just yesterday, he called me to come to his end after work, and I did. As soon as I got there he asked me, “How do you greet my mum?” “Good morning,” I responded. He said, “Why would you greet her without saying good morning, ma’am?” He went on to say that his mother was angry with me because of it. I asked him why his mother didn’t correct me when I greeted her wrongly. I also reminded him of the time he told me his aunt hated to be referred to as “Ma’am” because it made her feel old. I just assumed it was the same with his mother.

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My man complained a lot so I told him to let me go see his mom and apologise. He said, “Don’t bother. My mother didn’t like our relationship to start with.” This came as a shock to me because all along I was under the impression that the woman liked me.

He made it look like it was my fault his mother didn’t like me. That’s what he does. He is always defending his mother when I am involved but not once has he stood up for me when it came to her. Besides, I feel he is always looking for reasons to break up with me. I can’t take it anymore. I won’t fight to keep him this time. I will apologise to his mum and leave the relationship. It’s just that I wish it didn’t hurt this bad.

— Madah

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