We met at the VIP lounge. He requested my number and I didn’t want to be rude so I gave it to him. Most of us women do this. We would give you the number but when you call, who would pick up? That was my plan. I even saved his number to make it easier for me to ignore him.

For four months, I did not engage him. I expected him to give up after his first few attempts but he was persistent. I was impressed. He continued to send me WhatsApp messages even though I did not respond to even one of them.

In the fifth month, I responded to his message. He was nice to talk to, I realized. Every time he texted me, I knew I was in for an interesting conversation. At some point, we exchanged pictures and started talking regularly every day.

Along the line, he proposed love to me and I accepted it. So a relationship began. We made plans to see each other but our busy schedules didn’t allow us. Regardless we still kept a closeness online.

One time he called and demanded some money to sort things out. Considering how insignificant the amount was, I sent it to him. In a few days, he asked for another insignificant amount to sort another thing out. I didn’t ask questions. I sent it.

When my birthday was approaching, I told him about it. I didn’t expect anything from him. I just wanted to know. To my utter shock, he sent me money. It was a lot. I said a lot of thank yous and he kept saying it was not a big deal.

One afternoon he called and told me a sibling of his was on admission at the hospital. He needed some money to travel to see her. He mentioned the amount and I sent it to him. Later, the whole thing didn’t sit well with me. So I started digging into him.

I didn’t have physical access to him so I had to improvise. I listened to the things he told me and equally listened to the things he did not say. I also used a number he did not know was mine to chat with him on WhatsApp. I pretended I was someone else in hopes he would tell my disguised self certain things about himself that he wouldn’t tell the actual me.

Later, he repaid the money I sent him to see his sister. It was thrice the amount I gave him. The whole back and forth we were doing with money really bothered me. So I even went on online platforms I knew he was part of to monitor him as closely as I could.

After a while, he told my disguised self, “I have been texting my girlfriend for some time now. Now, I have decided to take things up a notch. I will act very wretched and broke to see if she will still stick around.” As my disguised self, I asked him a lot of questions about his relationship. All the answers he gave me gave the impression that he was genuine.

Through my other investigation means, I got to know a few people who knew him and they all confirmed that he is a good guy. Out of excitement, I told him the truth about what I had been doing. “I am the one who has been texting you with that Vodafone number,” I announced.

He got furious and refused to talk to me. It took days before he accepted my apology. My problem now is, that Amoah has completely switched off when it comes to giving to me. Whenever I ask him for something, he would tell me to wait for a while. I would wait but the money wouldn’t come.

Around November last year, we finally met. He was good and caring. He even gave me money to return. But since then, he has never sent me anything again. I also have asked him for anything.

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During the Christmas holidays, he promised to give me money but he never did. I also didn’t ask him. It was when I was sick and was having some financial issues that asked for his assistance. He sent me an amount so small that it didn’t help me.

Ever since I came clean about the other number, he always tells me he is broke or in trouble when I need his help. I don’t believe him. I know this guy is doing okay for himself. He works in a company that is known for paying its workers well.

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I’m not after his money but honestly, we all need help sometimes. So how can I be with a man that I know wouldn’t help me when I need him? He says he wants to marry me but I am not sure about him.

Now, I don’t know whether he is testing me or if he is just stingy. Am I right to be concerned?

–Ama

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