I am one of those people who have experienced one too many wrong turns when it comes to love and romantic relationships. They say once bitten, twice shy. That’s why some people get their heartbroken once, and swear off love forever. Not me though. I’m a hopeless romantic. I believe in all the fairytales and romcoms. I believe in finding someone who feels like home and walking into the sunset together.
This is why despite all the deceits, betrayals, and non-commitment I experienced in my previous relationships, I am still a big sucker for love. It’s just unfortunate that I keep falling in love with the wrong men. My ex-boyfriend, for example, I knew he was not the right man for me. Regardless, I did not leave him. I held on to the relationship as if I was on a sinking ship and it was the only life jacket within my reach.
This man showed me in different colours, shades, and hues that he did not want me but I closed my eyes to all of it. If he shut one door in my face, I would find another pathway to him. I am very sure I would have still been with him had he not left me last year. Why did I treat myself so poorly? Loneliness. I told myself being with him was better than being alone. It wasn’t until that relationship ended that I realized I was even lonelier with him.
In times I am hard on myself for staying when I shouldn’t, I remind myself that loneliness has driven even the best of us into the wrong arms. That is how I gradually forgave myself and healed from the trauma of that relationship. I am in a better place now. All that happened with him is way in the past. I have met someone new now. He is wonderful, my man. Sometimes I feel he is too good to be true.
Hassan and I connected on a match-making group. I know we can’t attest to what we haven’t seen but there are things your soul tells you. You just feel it in every fibre of your being that something, or in my case, someone is right for you. After so many bumps on the road to finding my true love, I almost gave up on the idea that there were still any good men out there. I was so sure they were out of season. That’s why it felt like a miracle when I started to unravel the truth of who Hassan is.
I was over the moon to meet a man with a soul as pure as his. Hassan is a good and kind man. His maturity is also another quality about him that I adore. I can confidently say that he is the kind of man any sane woman would want for herself. The distance between us, however, and the nature of his job has put us apart for months. He is presently stationed in one of these warring countries. He is unable to come out. I too will not be able to go in to see him. It’s frustrating.
He tries to keep in touch as often as possible. He tells me the state of things there. I am happy to know he is safe. It would have also been good to know how long he would be trapped in that country. I am saying this because I am a woman. I want to have a family someday but my clock is ticking. I don’t have all the time in the world to wonder what the future holds for us. We can make all the plans we want but as long as he remains in that country, they are just wishful thinking.
He Woke Me Up At 2am And Asked Me To Go To My Mother’s House
I am concerned that things would not work out in the end because of our geographical location and the fact that there are external forces operating beyond our control. Things have been going great but it’s been months and we haven’t seen each other. What if it never happens? How long should I have to wait before I decide to move on? This is my confusion.
Are my worries valid? What I fear most is an unhappy marriage. I just don’t want to settle because of time. That’s why I am finding it hard to move on from the only good and responsible man I might ever meet. My dear sisters and mothers, I need your advice. How long should I wait? Am I in a haste? Who has ever been in this position before? How long did you wait to meet him?
—Zainab
If you have a compelling story to share with us, you can email it to us at [email protected] or send us a voice note on WhatsApp number 0593290182.
#SB
Your worries are valid. But what you fear mostly doesn’t exist. The way out is to pray for God to make a way for him to come back safely. And if you think you can’t wait tell him your reason . Don’t be in a hurry to make decisions that will lead you to regret. Be patient. You guys can’t control anything by your strength. It’s through prayers that things change. Let God lead your life and he will show you the way.