On September 2012, I met Agen on campus.  I was in my third year in the Nursing training college. He was working with an insurance company. He had come to market their products to the trainee nurses. I felt something for him when I first saw him so we hit it off immediately. We talked until he left and we continued talking after he left. We could talk the entire day without getting tired.  He lived about thirty minutes away from campus, so every Friday I visited him to do his laundry and return to campus on Monday morning.  He was very generous, thus my efforts never went unappreciated.

Prior to our relationship, he was dating one of his work colleagues. He told me, “My ex left me after I told her that I had a child from SHS. I hope you also don’t leave me because of the same reason. I can’t bear to lose you.” In the course of our relationship, I would visit him and chance upon condoms in the pockets of his trousers. When I asked him about them, he said, “My cousin borrowed my clothes. He must have left the condoms in there.” I never confirmed it from his supposed cousin. I just believed him.

It happened that one day, we had a heated argument. I felt bad about it so I decided to visit him unannounced and offer an apology.  Surprisingly, I met his ex-girlfriend over there. I was concerned until he introduced me to her as his new girlfriend. I still wasn’t happy that he was spending time with his ex but I didn’t make an issue out of it. At twenty-two, Agen was the best man I had ever met. So I was scared that if I expressed my displeasure at certain things he did, I might lose him. So I overlooked a lot of things I should have questioned.

Our relationship continued even after I completed school. I was working in Accra for my national service but I still made time to visit him. On one of my visits, I found a lady’s lingerie in his briefcase. I questioned him about it and he lied that his cousin came to stay at his place shortly with his girlfriend. This time, I wanted to ask his cousin but I was afraid to confront the truth so I let it slide again.  Along the line, I noticed that we barely spoke. He spent hours on the phone but he wouldn’t return my calls. I saw all this but I didn’t act on it, I was a fool.

When our relationship was almost four years old he asked, “Can you take me to meet your family one of these days?” So I took him to meet my dad and mom. They liked him. He expressed his intentions to marry me. He said he was ready. I was ready too so we were good to go. Then two months later, we had a misunderstanding. I visited him to resolve it and saw a lady’s slippers hidden beside his fridge. I asked about them and this time, I had the shock of my life.  He said, “They belong to my girlfriend.” Wow! I should have walked away after that but I had spent four years of my life with him. I felt I could stay and fight for his love, so I held on to him.

Another day we had an argument and he told me, “Just hold on a little while. You will have the shock of your life.” I pondered over it for days but I didn’t understand what he meant. A few days later, he came to my place. He was going for a visa interview but he tried to hide it from me. I also acted as if I didn’t know. One week after that, he informed me that he would travel in a month’s time. I was heavy-hearted. I felt I had lost him already. I asked about our relationship. He asked if I could wait for five years. I wept the entire night. About two weeks on, I was at work when he called and broke up with me. My world crumbled that day.

It was difficult but every morning I told myself, “I will go through this and come out stronger.” Eventually, he travelled in April 2016. In June of that same year, he called and asked for a favour. He asked that if I still loved him I should acquire a loan of GHC15,000 for him. He would pay in monthly instalments. He claimed he needed it to process his document otherwise he would get deported. Guess what, I did it. I didn’t seek a second opinion. How foolish I was. He commenced payment but along the line, he wasn’t consistent.

I had one church elder who prayed with me and anytime he did, he would say, Agen would come back and marry me. Initially, I rebuked it but later I came to accept it. Sometimes I dreamt that Agen had come to marry me. All this while, I was pursuing a degree in nursing. Somewhere In 2019, Agen’s big sister called me. She disclosed to me that Agen was in a relationship with one lady since 2014 ( two years into our relationship). Actually, he impregnated the lady as a promise to marry her and got engaged to her before he travelled.

READ ALSO: How Do I Leave My Boyfriend Without Breaking My Parents’ Hearts?

As if that wasn’t enough, he had a child with his ex-girlfriend in 2013 (a year into our relationship) and also impregnated another one of his ex-girlfriends in the same year but they got rid of it. I was dumbfounded. I said, “God, thank you!” I would have gotten myself into a ditch. Instantly, I felt hatred towards him. In July 2019, I finished paying the loan I took for him. I was there one day when he called that I should check his documents at his embassy in Ghana and I did. I took that opportunity to ask him about everything his sister told me. He confirmed that it was true. I understood there and then that he never loved me. I wasted four years with him. He went to the extent of introducing me to his parents and telling my dad he wants to marry me. How could he be this wicked?

Later, he called me lamenting about how he made a mistake by getting engaged to his fiancée. He said I should try and travel so we marry and leave the lady here. I saw that he had bad intentions. He thought I was till that stupid girl he knew. I had learnt my lesson the hard way. I forgot about him completely and moved on. I always prayed to God to give me a man who loves Him, is single with no child and buys into my vision.

His Wife Found Out About Us | Beads Media

After my degree, I felt I was ready to love again. Prior to that, I was resentful towards men so I prayed about it. God answers prayers. I met quite a number of guys, but no intimacy. I only had conversations with them, analysing their way and level of thinking, and their ambitions. It wasn’t until January 2022 that I met a handsome young guy. Gosh! He had everything I was looking for. We got talking and it’s been a fairytale since then. Six months into the relationship, he said “What are we waiting for? Let’s get married, my love.” We are preparing towards our marriage, which is due in a few weeks.

I told him about my intentions to travel abroad and he supports me. He assisted me to write my international exams; financially, physically and spiritually. I can’t thank God enough for bringing a wonderful man like him my way. God saved me from Agen, who might have sent me to an early grave. And in His own time, he brought me Nii. He has given me beauty for ashes.

–Sima

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG.

#SB