He’s the one who initiated the divorce. I didn’t tell my parents. He did. When we were called, I said I wanted it to work. We had issues. It got escalated at certain times but I was hopeful a five-year marriage could survive.
It was about money and how I complained about the way he was spending our money. When we had our first child, he stopped being affectionate and stayed out for too long. I complained. I fought him. One day it turned physical. I didn’t back down. I left him a mark below his eyes. He stood on that mark to call for a divorce. He even made it a police case.
I apologized. I was ready to bear it all to be his wife. I didn’t even ask him to change anything. All I wanted was for him to drop the divorce talks but he didn’t. He went around insulting me to my parents, friends and whoever cared to hear. I didn’t want to move so he said he would move.
He would go for days and come and stay for a day. Our boy loved him so much that when he wasn’t around he cried and complained so sometimes he would stay for the child.
While we were in court fighting over our divorce, he would come home and spend time with his boy. One day, I don’t know what got over him, he jumped over me and we had sex. We hadn’t done it for over a year. He put on his battle robe right after that as if nothing happened.
I got pregnant.
He still wanted to leave the marriage so he wanted me to terminate it. I shook my head. “I’m a married woman. I’ll have this.” “Married to who? We are over. We can’t have a child. If you don’t get rid of it, you reduce your chances of having another man after marriage. Who’ll marry a born two woman?”
The pregnancy is five months old and it’s coming up slowly. He’s embarrassed to show up wherever I am. He’s no longer living with me. When people tell him they saw me pregnant, he tells them I’m a whore that’s why he’s leaving me. I couldn’t wait for the divorce to be over to get pregnant for my cheating partner.
You Can’t Ask What A Woman Uses Her Money For | Chat & Chuckles Podcast | EP 3
It hurts the way he’s getting away with lies. Apart from my family, no one believes me when I say he’s the one who made me pregnant. If I take this man to my home town and make bad things rain in his life, would I be a bad woman?
— Sally
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My sister if you do so your son will suffer. Learn to love yourself and son more. If you are not yet divorced and still want your husband back then take it to God in prayer. Please try and have a word with your husband. Remember there is nothing impossible for God to do. Hatred won’t get you anywhere . Channel that hate into positive and you will be amazed how light you will feel.
Legally, the court will throw out the divorce if it gets to know that he got you pregnant.
I think he is still attracted to you, but has just not finished sowing his wild oats yet. To save the marriage, use your marriage, give him time and use your soft skills instead of the hard/legal route. Talk to him; tell him how sorry you are and show it, tell him what a beautiful family you have which should not be thrown away by a mere fight. Tell him how you’ll miss him, and how his son will feel fatherless when he goes away. Show true remorse and submission. Tell him you’ve changed and are willing to work on yourself.
A reasonable man, after all these will also have some introspection and commit to work on himself too. People stay in marriages out of conviction and not compulsion.
However, if he is egoistic and chauvinistic, then you have a lot of thinking and introspection to do yourself too. All the best and praying with you.🙏🏿