Everything I need, he provides. I am not even using the term loosely. What I eat, what I drink, and even what I wear are all taken care of by him. That’s how good he is to me. It’s why the thought of another man crossed my mind. As far as I was concerned, he was my present and my future. It didn’t matter that he is sixteen years older than me. All that I cared about was that he is a good man.

I am in school. That’s why we haven’t taken the next step to officialize our relationship yet. Apart from that, everyone in my life knows him. They all accept him because they know he takes good care of me. I was hoping this would give him enough assurance that I was truly his, but no. Or maybe it is because he feels too strongly that I belong to only him that he controls me the way he does.

He acts like an overprotective parent. The kind who doesn’t want their children to make friends or even step out of the house. Except in this man’s case, we don’t live together so he can’t physically restrict my movements. That does not mean he does not try.

Sometimes I would stay on the phone with him for three hours. Even if we didn’t have anything to talk about, it was fine with him. As long as he knew I was there with him, he was okay. If someone should talk to me during this period, we would fight. Even if it’s just “Good morning,” the person said. He would get mad that I responded.

If I was in class and missed his call, trouble. I would have to spend about an hour on the phone with him explaining why I couldn’t pick up his calls. On days he is not so contentious, I would only have to explain myself for thirty minutes.

His possessiveness is so bad that he asked me to delete my Facebook messenger so I wouldn’t talk to anyone. He didn’t stop there. He proceeded to ask me to delete all the men on my Facebook friend list. From there he asked me to block all my male friends in my phonebook. I am sure if not for the fact that he had to speak to me on the phone because we are apart, he would have even asked me not to use a phone.

He acts as if if he doesn’t cage me, I would cheat on him with any man within my reach. That’s the downside of being with him. On one hand, he is a provider but on the other hand, he is possessive to a fault. He also happens to keep grudges for long. When he picks a fight with me, he would ghost me. I could call him for a week or two. He wouldn’t pick up the phone until he felt ready to talk.

READ ALSO: What’s The Right Way To Leave A Man When He Is At His Lowest?

It was during one of his ghosting phases that I reconnected with my childhood friend. He is also someone everyone in my life knows. We all know that he is a God-fearing guy. Ever since I started talking to him, he has shown me nothing but kindness and compassion. He speaks to me and treats me like a queen.

He behaves exactly the way I wish the older man would behave but they say you can’t have it all. He wants to marry me but I am not sure I can leave the other man. Not after everything this older man has done for me. He is also the man my family knows as my boyfriend. What reason would I give them for leaving? If I talk about his possessiveness, they may not even think it’s a big deal. They would be too focused on his generosity to pay attention to his oppression.

You Can’t Ask What A Woman Uses Her Money For | Chat & Chuckles Podcast | EP 3


I know he is a good man but do I deserve to be his prisoner because we are in a relationship? Let’s not forget his mood swings. He can talk about one thing for about an hour when he is in a bad mood. All these are my concerns but I fear I will look like a bad person if I choose the new guy.

Just like the older man, this guy also wants to marry me. He has introduced me to his family and they all adore me. He is not rich but I don’t mind. He is about to start his job as a high school teacher. That’s what matters. A stable job. I know I will be happy if I end up with him but fear is keeping me shackled to the other man. How would I even have the heart to break his heart after everything he has invested in me? This is what is confusing me. I need your thoughts on this. What do I do?

— Mawusinu

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