My friends call me a lucky woman because of the man I married. My family sees me as the vessel of honour God is using to lift our family from grass to grace. They call me a blessing. My neighbours also see me and think I have it good. I smile sweetly and carry my head high as if I’m the happiest wife on earth. They don’t see through my façade.

Maybe I put on such a convincing show so they don’t suspect that my life is not filled with sunshine and rainbows. What else can I do but play pretend?

I am in a big house. I have everything at my disposal. My husband provides everything I need. I am not going to lie, I have the kind of lifestyle most women want; comfort, luxury, and a constant flow of money. Not only does he take care of my needs, he takes care of my family as well. That’s why they consider my marriage as the financial breakthrough they have all been praying for.

The thing about my husband is, he doesn’t only take care of my family. He takes care of my friends as well. Anyone who is close to me automatically benefits from his generosity. Even if I meet someone today and take them home that we are friends, my husband would give the person help if they need it. That’s something I am grateful to him for.

Based on some people’s definition of happiness, I should be happy. That’s assuming that everything that happens behind closed doors is as smooth and beautiful as everything that happens outside. I am the only one who knows the hell my husband puts me through.

Despite his calm and gentle demeanor, he has a bad temper. We could be laughing and playing one moment and the next moment he would be yelling at me and calling me all sorts of offensive names. It doesn’t matter if we are alone or if our kids are around. He would insult me.

There are times I tell him, “Don’t talk to me like that in front of our children.” He would angrily shout, “If you want me to talk to you kindly then stop fooling.” Sometimes he makes me feel like I am not human enough. It is as though I am made of silicon so his insults wouldn’t hurt me.

Every little typo I do irritates him. There has never been a time where he has admitted that he was wrong. Anything that goes wrong in our marriage has to be my fault. As for him, he is always right. Because of this, he can’t be corrected.

According to him, I am a foolish woman. It’s either that or I am a stupid woman. Those are the words he uses on me. If verbal abuse could physically kill, he would have killed me long ago. I believe that’s the problem. People don’t see the harm verbal abuse causes a person, so they easily dismiss it.

My heart is hurt and my spirit is crushed by his constant barrage of hurtful words. However, my family doesn’t take me seriously when I report him to them. It got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to my family and told them, “I can’t continue with the marriage anymore.” They asked why and I spoke earnestly about the verbal abuse I was suffering.

When they heard my complaints they said, “Don’t even think about packing out of that house and returning home. This is marriage for you. It’s not full of milk and honey. There’s salt and spice too. Everywhere you go, you will face a problem. And when the problems come, you don’t run away. You stay and endure it just as much as you enjoy it.” With that, they sent me back.

I concluded that maybe my husband easily disrespects me because I am a housewife. So I tried to work. My husband said no. He forbade me from doing anything that would bring me an income. He sees it as an embarrassment to his reputation.

READ ALSO: I Met A Wicked Man Right Before Another Woman Married Him

“I take care of you, don’t I?” He asked. When I nodded he said, “You don’t need anything, I make sure of that. I provide for your family as well. So there’s no need for you to work.” He wants me to stay home and raise our kids while he works and brings home the money.

I am not happy with my life but I wear a happy face all the time because of how many times people tell me I have a good life. I don’t tell them anything about the abuse I am putting up with. I want things to change but I don’t know how to make it happen.

Call Your Ex And Ask Why It Didn’t Work Out Between You Two

We have two children. He is great with them. He doesn’t hurt them in any way, not even verbally like he does me. He is good to them. He gets upset when they even get a paper cut. That’s how much he loves his children. I wish he would treat me as gently as he treats them.

Please, what can I do to change things in my marriage? Even when I walk on eggshells around him, he still finds something to insult me about. Considering the fact that my family has left me to my fate, I have no one else to turn to. I need advice. I also need tips on how to make him more respectful toward me.

—Grace

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.  

#SB