I attended a youth conference at a church last year. When I left home I expected to get through the conference, say hello to a few people, and then return home to my dull and dry life. After all, it wasn’t the first time I had attended a youth conference. Anyway, when I got there I was ushered in as always. I sat beside a guy who was very attentive to the proceedings of the event. I expected us to sit next to each other quietly and exchange pleasantries after the event or just go our separate ways quietly.

That’s why I was surprised when he turned to me in the middle of the conference and spoke to me. First, he was commenting on what the speaker said. Then he asked me to share my thoughts on the theme. I felt uncomfortable at first, speaking while the conference was going on but this guy had a way of making it look casual. He was funny too. I had to cover my mouth so I wouldn’t draw attention to us with my untamed laughter.

When the event closed he shook my hand and said, “My name is Osei. I enjoyed sitting next to you. I would like to take your number if that’s okay with you. I want to get to know you.” I shrugged and said I didn’t mind at all, and then gave the number to him. We sat in the auditorium for a short while chatting before finally parting ways.

You could judge by the big smile on my face that I liked this guy. He had a quiet demeanour but talking to him was fun. I replayed some of the jokes he told and chuckled throughout my journey home. When I got home, Osei and I continued our conversations. We would talk at night for hours until one person had to go to sleep. During the day, we would text each other funny photos and memes. He was like a rainbow in my dull life.

By the time we were two months into the friendship, I was thinking about him every second of my waking moments. These thoughts were accompanied by butterflies in my tummy. How could love happen to me this fast? Well, it turned out I wasn’t the only one feeling things. He too fell in love with me that fast. At least that’s what he told me.

After his confession, he asked me, “Now that you know how I feel about you, will you be my girlfriend?” Apart from the fact that I was also in love with him, he seemed like a nice guy. He was God-fearing, a good listener, a great conversationalist, funny, and easy on the eyes. These were the traits I wanted in a man. This is why I didn’t stretch him before accepting his proposal. No excuses like, “Let me go and think about it,” or “Let me pray about it.” I knew what I wanted and he was what I wanted. So I said yes almost on the spot.

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Two months into the relationship, I was sure I was in heaven. We were in some kind of honeymoon bliss. And then he ghosted me. I didn’t even see it coming. We were fine one moment, but the next moment he was nowhere to be found. He wouldn’t pick up my calls or respond to my messages. This broke my heart more than I could fathom. As hard as I tried, he wouldn’t talk to me. “At least tell me if I did something wrong so that I will know why you left me,” I texted him. All he said was, “I am busy. I will get back to you.” I waited but he never did. What could I have done but to try and move on?

Almost three months after he disappeared from my life, Osei came to my house acting all apologetic. He said he didn’t know what came over him. “I was dealing with some stuff and needed some space. I should have communicated my needs to you better. Forgive me, and if you would have me, I would like one more chance.” I was still not over him then. It is because of these lingering feelings that I gave him another chance.

He Got Me Pregnant And Also Got His Ex Pregnant


Along the line, he found out from a friend that I used to have asthma. He asked me and I said, “Yes, I had it but it stopped when I went to the university. I took a herbal treatment that cured it for me.” I then asked if it was going to be a problem for him. He answered, “Not at all. I am also asthmatic.” Could you believe that after that conversation, this guy ghosted me again? No calls. No text messages. Not even a “hi”. I even regretted opening up to him about my health challenges.

Since December last year, I didn’t hear from him until the second week of May this year. He called me to apologize. When I asked what I did to drive him away he said, “I needed some time off to think about the asthma thing we talked about. I have thought about it and I am fully back now. I think we can make things work if we try again.” Honestly, I don’t know what to make of this. What if I take him back and something goes wrong again? Will he disappear for another three or five months? I have told him to give me time to think about it but the truth is, I am not sure about him anymore. What do I do?

— Tiara

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