We are getting ready to get married. Our families have met for the official introductions already. It’s just a matter of time before we set a date for our wedding. However, at this point in our relationship, I am not sure when the date will be set. Or if it will be set in the first place.
Now here is what happened. Our relationship is a long-distance one. So most of our communication is done through video calls. He visits when he gets the chance. And I also visited him whenever I could. In spite of all the challenges that came with our kind of relationship, we were committed to beating the odds. Everything we did was for us.
My fiance gave me everything I needed. I didn’t even need to ask for it or bill him with stuff. He just provided for my needs all the time. He knows I am working but he tells me, “What kind of man would I be if I say that my woman should take care of herself just because she has a job?” Guys, I have it good. I see other women complain about how they have to devise means to get money from their men, and I cannot relate. My man spoils me rotten. Or at least, he did.
His last visit to my place was a few days ago. As always, we had a happy time together. There were no fights or unnecessary drama. We usually don’t fight about stuff. Even when he sees something he doesn’t like or when I do things he doesn’t like, he doesn’t address it while he is angry. He waits till we are all in a good place to bring it up. That way we can talk about it amicably and find solutions to our problems without making a mess of things.
So just the other day, I sent him a video in the course of the day. He didn’t say anything about it so when I called him later that evening I asked, “Did you see the video I sent you earlier?” He answered, “No, I haven’t had the chance to look at it. I’ve been busy. What is it about?” Sometimes he does that. Instead of listening to a song or a video I sent to him, he would ask me to tell him what it was all about.
I was always excited to talk about these things from the way I understood them and he enjoyed listening to me talk. So once again, I delved into the details of the video. When I was talking he asked out of nowhere, “Have you ever cheated on me before?” My immediate response was, “What? No. You know you are the only man for me.”
Unbeknownst to me, he went through my phone the last time he visited. And he found messages that pointed to the fact that I had in fact, cheated on him. So he got angry when I lied that I had never done such a thing. For the first time in our relationship, he almost yelled at me when he said, “I already know everything but I am giving you one last chance to come clean. What happened?” At this point, I began to shiver and fumble because I didn’t know how he was going to take it.
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I was filled with regret and guilt over what I did. I had hoped he would never find out because I was not going to tell him. However, he wanted to know and I feared I would lose him if I didn’t come clean so I confessed. “I did it with a friend. It happened only once and it was a long time ago. I feel so guilty about it that’s why I never wanted you to know. I’m sorry.” He wasn’t his usual calm and peaceful self after I said this.
Honestly, I know I messed up. This is a man who provides me with every single thing I need. So for me to sleep with another man was a wrong move. I was prepared for his anger but I hoped he would eventually calm down and forgive me. But the way he spoke, broke my heart. Not because of the hurtful things he said to me, no, I deserved those. It was the pain in his voice that cut me deep.
The Craziest Thing I’ve Ever Done In The Name of Love
In the middle of his rants, he uttered the words, “You are very ungrateful. I can’t believe you would do this to me after all the love I poured into you.” Then he said, “You are evil and wicked.” It was when he said these words that I knew that our relationship had almost no chance of surviving. I pleaded with him not to involve any family member. “Please, let’s try and work this out between us.” He is not talking to me so I don’t even know what he is going to do.
Now I am left hanging because I do not know how to right all these wrongs. He doesn’t deserve what I have done to him and now I do not know where I stand in the relationship. I really do love him a lot and would want to stay with him. I am so ashamed and disappointed in myself.
What do I do now? How do I fix what I have broken?
—Ella
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You didn’t even confess the whole truth here , you just said how he caught you and you didn’t explain all what you did during the relationship.i think you did that because you know what you did is evil and wicked . I myself I will not trust a woman like you. I dont believe it wasnt once too . The story does not add up at all .
@Paapa, exactly. When people say just once and it was a long time ago but there are still flirting messages to show, then it is a lie.
She was taking money and life’s comfort from this good guy and sleeping with a low life individual to get sexual satisfaction. Women must understand that if a man comes and does not fit your package, please leave him alone. There are noble women whom the man can find if they search. The match must be in all things, money, lifestyle plus horse power. E.g some men may have money but have the lifestyle of a village king, if you want to marry a ‘guy’, then leave the man alone. A man may have money but is very spiritual, don’t lie you love church things when you refer to go to night clubs every Friday night, then feel caged in the relationship. A man may have money but cannot go thirty munster on top of you, discard him if sexual satisfaction is an A game for you. Don’t string men along.
Kojo Osei good advice my brother. Thanks for sharing 👍
Women are more likely to forgive cheating than men. That’s a fact of life. Knowing that, women who cheat will use heaven and earth to deny, even if you catch them red-handed. Now that you have admitted that you cheated, there’s nothing more you can do but wait. The ball is in the man’s court.
Fear women or perish
The truth of the matter is that you love what your husband brings onboard but you don’t love his person. Sex does not just happen , it is a process which includes flirting, constant communication, arrangements for visitation , and outings before probably the sex itself will happen. If you allowed all these events to happen prior to the act knowing well u are married means the guy you fornicated with meant more to you than your husband. if i am your husband , this marriage will be over. Strong and Decent men do not forgive cheating in marriage.