I met Van in 2023. I had just completed school and was waiting for my results to begin rotation. We were only friends until last year when he proposed love to me, and I said yes.

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As the relationship progressed we agreed to meet. We live quite a distance away from each other, so I packed enough stuff to spend more than a day with him.

We did spend a few days together. I enjoyed spending time with him but he kept saying one thing that rubbed me off badly. Every little thing he would say, “Tina, you’ve put on a lot of weight since the last time I saw you. It’s too much.”

It was as if he shut up about it I would forget. It got to me so badly that I cut my visit short. I had a few more days left to spend with him but I insisted on leaving.

When I got home, I texted him, “I am home safely.” He read the message but chose to ignore me. The next morning I asked if he was okay. He opened my message but didn’t respond. I did this every day but he remained silent.

I knew he was avoiding me on purpose because while he didn’t engage me, he was busy posting gospel songs on his status.

One evening, I got frustrated and texted him saying, “I don’t know what’s going on with you but this doesn’t feel like a relationship anymore. Tell me if you’re done.”

He only replied the next day with a simple “Good morning.”

Just a few days ago, I was invited to a program by a friend. When I arrived and was about to call her to come get me, a guy approached me and asked if I had just arrived. I said yes. “Can I walk in with you? I also just got here and I don’t want to go in alone.”

We were given seats next to each other, and coincidentally, my so-called boyfriend was also there. I saw him looking at us when the event was ongoing.

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After the program, someone called my name. It turned out to be an SHS friend who also happens to be friends with Van. They were walking together so my old schoolmate introduced me to my Van (It was obvious he didn’t know we knew each other). I also pretended we were meeting for the first time and Van played along. He stood there stiffly while I hugged my friend and chatted with him.

Later, this same supposed boyfriend of mine sent me a bunch of messages calling me a hypocrite, because I acted as if I didn’t know him. “How can you treat me coldly because I didn’t respond to your messages. You are overreacting,” he ranted.

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I ignored him.

Now he is back in my DMs full of apologies. He has even enlisted one of my friends to talk to me on his behalf. He seems like a changed man but I don’t want to go down that rabbit hole with him again. Tell me, am I truly overreacting by not wanting him back despite his apologies?

—Tina 

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