Maybe, it’s because of the work I do and how he met me. Eric had no trust for me. I didn’t cheat. I didn’t entertain men, and I didn’t stay on my phone late but this man found reasons not to trust me. I work in a hotel where he met me. He has a tour agency so whenever he brought people around and he saw me, he spoke to me and we became friends. I became his plug, giving him updates on prices and products the hotel is running so he could plan his tour and get the right profit. I was the one doing the reservations for him anytime he had to come around. One day he proposed and I accepted. I mean he’s a nice guy sprinkled with vision and hard work and since we are both in the same industry I thought we were a perfect match. 

Anytime, he came to town, I dedicated all my time to him. Sometimes I planned my off days to coincide with his visits so I could be with him as he takes his clients around. I loved him. When I’m with him, I feel like I’m connected to a plug that gives me the right energy and vibe. He loves his job and sometimes ignores me for the sake of his job but I don’t complain. 

One day he asked me, “Tell me, are you sure I’m the only one in your life? I mean you’re not seeing anyone apart from me?” His question amazed me. I thought he had found something that was making him make that speculation. I asked why the question and he asked me to answer him. I said, “You’re the only one. There’s no one in between. Yes, I’ve had guys coming my way every now and then but I put them off because there’s you.” 

He said, “Prove it.” I asked, “How can I prove it? Just tell me how and I’ll do it.” He said, “Give me your phone.” I gave it to him. He asked for my password and I gave it to him. He was opening my Whatsapp and met another password. He asked, “Why do you have a password on your Whatsapp?” I answered, “Nothing. iPhone allows it so I put it on it.” “What’s the password?” I gave it to him. 

For the next hour, this guy went through my phone reading every message that has a guy’s name on it. The only problem he had was someone calling me dear. I told him, “Oh, you guys are like that? You throw words around carelessly and it’s normal. Even you, you were calling me wifee when you hadn’t proposed to me.” I thought that would make him laugh. He asked, “So that means everyone is allowed to call you endearing names?”

We spent our night talking about messages on my phone and the photos in my gallery. All I wanted to know was why he was doing all that. He said he wanted to trust me because I was all he had in life. I felt loved and it ended there. 

Not too long afterwards, I had a friend request on Facebook from a guy who went ahead pestering my inbox to accept his friendship. I did. He came talking about being in the industry and looking for someone like me to work with and all. He asked for my number and I gave it to him. He came to my WhatsApp and started chatting with me. A week later, the chat started getting personal. I went back to his Facebook account and realized that the account was created not too long ago. I stopped engaging him though he sent me a message every day, wanting to meet me and wanting me to send him photos. One day, I asked him to call me and that call never came. When he realized that I no longer engage him on Whatsapp, he stop texting. 

Another time, someone called me at night telling me he came from abroad and got my number from a friend who told him I could get him a place to sleep. We arranged to meet the following day but he never came. Later he called to tell me he got a place and that he wanted to be a friend. I answered, “That’s OK.” We started talking and he started getting personal;

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Yes.”

“So you mean there’s no space in your life for me?”

“Unfortunately, no.”

“You won’t even get to know me first?”

I stopped talking to him. 

It looked like every week, a new person got my contact and tried to get me to be their girlfriend. Through all these, I never hid anything from Eric. I shared all these stories with him and told him how it ended. He’ll laugh about it and say something like, “Boys ayɛ wild ooo.” I was transparent. I was doing everything to prove a point, that he could trust me, that I don’t like anybody but him, and that I’m ready to go all out with him. 

One evening, I was with Eric when one of those numbers sent me a message. He said he was planning to come and see me and that he couldn’t stop thinking about me. I only sent, “Lmao” and other laughing emojis and left them there. When I woke up the next morning, I saw the person’s message again. He was asking me how my night was. I responded. I went to the washroom and came back to see another message. 

I ignored it until late afternoon when Eric was napping next to me. I sent a response and his phone’s screen lit up. I sent another message and his phone’s screen lit up again. I checked his screen but his screen was locked so all I saw was “Hotel sent you a message.” I kept sending and each time his screen lit up. I said to myself, “Wow so it’s him? How could he do that? He still doesn’t trust me?” I didn’t say anything to him. I just decided to walk out of the relationship because his level of mistrust was scary. When we parted ways, I told him I was going to get busy in the coming days so I won’t be able to see him. He asked what was more important than him and I told him it was my work.

I got home and I was so angry with myself that I didn’t know what to do; “How did I get involved with someone like that? What have I done to deserve such mistrust?” In fact, I felt disrespected so I started looking for a way to leave silently. The best way for me to find peace in myself than to be with a man who likes to create shadows in the dark.

The borga called again one day and I agreed to meet him. I knew Eric was behind that game so I decided to play the game with him. I met the guy. Immediately I saw him, I knew he was someone I’d met before. The first time Eric came to the facility with clients, this guy was part of the team but he never came back again. A year later, they thought I wouldn’t make him out. I smiled and asked him, “Now here we are. I broke up with my boyfriend so I’m alone now.” He asked, “Are you serious?” I said, “Yes.” He proposed again and I told him I was going to think about it. “I need time to heal so give me one week, I will come with a positive response.”

We spent the day together. He was forcing me to stay until the night but I declined. The following day, Eric called. He was screaming on the phone. “You see I’ve caught you? You see your sins have found you out? I knew I couldn’t trust you. He’s a borga so you’ve fallen for him thinking he’ll take you abroad, right?” I started laughing. I asked, “What are you talking about?” He sent me voice notes. The guy recorded our conversation and sent it to him. 

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I told him, “Yes, I’m falling for a borga what can you do about it?” I cut the call. The following day, he travelled to my place to see me. He came wearing an angry demeanour as if he had a fight with me. He went on talking and accusing me of everything that was in his imagination. I told him, “Do you still have that sim in your phone? The sim you were using to chat with me, do you still have it? Do you think I don’t know you’re the one playing games with me? So now what? You’re going to leave me? I left you long ago. A man like you doesn’t deserve any space in my life. If you don’t trust me, fine. Just leave me alone.”

He stood there with so many words unsaid. I left him there and walked in with tears. I don’t even know why I was crying. Maybe I was happy to bring the charade to an end. He left and didn’t talk to me for a week. Now he’s back calling me every day and telling me how childish he was and how he wants a second chance; “I trust you now. I trust you more than anything, please give us a second chance.” 

I would have blocked him by now but he’s also a client and I want to keep him as that. He still comes around with his tour clients and each time he comes around, he apologized to me. There’s no way in hell that I’m going to give us another chance. I’m keeping it strictly business while I look forward to a new day with someone who understands what trust means. 

—Erica

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