I encountered some problems in my family. It has to do with my father’s side of the family. To solve those issues I had to borrow money from some people. I am a trader. So the plan was to borrow some cash quickly, resolve the situation, and then repay the loan through my business. However, I realized a little too late that I underestimated the extent of the problem.

I would pay for one thing thinking it was over but another would pop up and require to be addressed. That’s how I ended up knee-deep in debt.

Unfortunately, these loans came with interests. I have been trying to clear my debts but the interests have accumulated over time. I don’t make enough from my small buy-and-sell business to keep up.

Due to this, I am owing the people I buy from as well. Mostly, I would make a purchase on credit and pay for it after I am done with the sales. However, I am not able to keep up with that arrangement because of the loans I am still paying off.

I have a husband. He knows everything about my financial status. He knows about the loans and the people I bought stuff from on credit. Initially, I asked him to invest in my business. This was when I realized I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the interest on the loans while they accumulate.

I was so overwhelmed by the extent of my debt but I didn’t ask him to help me pay them directly. “When you invest in the business, I will expand it. I won’t also have to buy on credit before I sell. That way I will focus on paying off the loans,” I proposed to him. He said, “That’s not something I want to do.” I tried to persuade him in hopes that he would change his mind but he refused.

I have been doing my best to settle the creditors but the progress is slow. Now, they know I am married. They also know who my husband is. So sometimes when there’s a delay in payment, they call him and report me to him.

This means that he is not ignorant of how much trouble I am in. Yet he has not made any attempts to help me repay my debts. All he does is listen to whatever the angry people tell him and bring me a report. Some of the things they tell him are threats. Especially from the people I buy stuff from. He could have paid off those monies but he chooses not to. He would rather tell me about the threat.

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At some point, he even called my parents in the middle of the night and told them I am owing people. Is it proper for him to do that? I feel the fact that we are married means when issues come up, we should deal with them together. Isn’t that what it means to have a partner?

It’s not as if I am a new wife to him. We’ve been married for ten years. We have three daughters together. His behaviour has caused me to reflect on our marriage. And I am noticing that he hasn’t done any tangible thing for me throughout this period.

Building the Perfect Relationship| Chat & Chuckles Ep15

So I sat him down and asked him to do something for me for once. “Help me clear my debts.” He laughed and said, “Me? You must be crazy.” I was shocked.

Most importantly, I am confused. I am trying to understand if it was wrong of me to ask my husband to help me out of a financial bind. Was it unreasonable of me to ask for his help? I am beginning to feel like I am wasting my time in this marriage.

—Gifty

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