I graduated from university last year. Since then, I have been trying to figure out what to do next with my life. My focus is on leveraging the opportunities available to me to build my portfolio. So, I’m currently looking for internships, volunteer opportunities, or even a business idea that will give me some financial footing.
While I was busy trying to build something for myself, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. He is twenty-nine, while I am twenty-three. We had been dating for six months when he proposed.
This is someone who means so much to me, but here’s the thing: I am not ready for the life he wants. Emotionally, I am not in a place where I can handle marriage, kids, and the responsibilities of family life. Financially, I want to build my career first.
When I explained this to him, he said, “We love each other. Isn’t that enough emotional readiness for us to take the big step?” As for the money part, he quickly dismissed my concerns.
He told me, “I am the one asking you to marry me, not the other way around. So it doesn’t make sense that you’re telling me you don’t have money. I have a stable income, and that’s all that matters. I will take care of you while you find your feet.”
I understood his point, but I didn’t agree with it. The thought of entering marriage before finding myself just doesn’t sit right with me. I’m afraid things will take a different turn once I get married, and I’ll end up regretting my decision. So, I turned down his proposal.
I asked him to give me some time to at least find something to do first. But he said, “I’m getting old. I don’t have another year to wait for you to find yourself.” Then he broke up with me.
I Accepted His Proposal When I Hadn’t Met Him Physically
Well, I don’t blame him for leaving. If I won’t compromise, then I shouldn’t expect him to do so. However, I am wondering if I am doing the right thing. Is it normal for a woman to feel unprepared or unfit for marriage, even when she has a supportive partner? I keep asking myself if I will regret letting him go.
I would be grateful if the older women here could give me some guidance.
— Joy, Kenya
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
#SB
Financial independence is the power of a woman. If you feel you are not ready then trust that feeling because you’re 100% right don’t allow anyone to change your opinion. What he said is not bad but once you get married to him he can decide to tell you not to look for any job hence you will be relying on him. Remember in this life the hands that feed you can also starve you. It’s better for you to learn how to earn your own money in case any future problems arises you be able to free from it. Many women have becomes slaves in their own marriage as a result of not having financial independence. There’s nothing attractive than a woman who has got her own thing. No man can come and misbehave at you and speak trash. You are your own boss so you can fire him from your life.