I made it a point to tell any man who showed interest in me that I am HIV positive. The last thing I wanted was for someone to get attached to me, only to feel deceived when I eventually told them about my illness. The downside of my honesty is that it drives men away. The moment I tell them about my status, they disappear. I had to resort to dating apps to meet men. Even those ones didn’t stay either.

It was hard living such a lonely life until I met Morris on one of these dating apps.  Just like I did with the others, I told him the truth about my status. However, unlike the others, he did not disappear. He told me, “That’s not a problem. I still want to be with you.” I almost broke down in tears when he said this. We chatted for three months. He lived overseas so we didn’t meet in that period. We just had conversations that enabled us to get to know more about each other.

When he started making plans to come down and meet me, he told me; “I have started taking the prep so I don’t get infected when we get sexually involved.” This melted my heart. Not only had I found a man who was willing to be with me in my condition, but I had found one who was adjusting his lifestyle to accommodate me. It was a love language I did not know I needed.

One day we were talking when he said, “I am ready to come and see you. So I need you to find a house we will live in when I get to town.” He then introduced me to his friend who helped me find the perfect house. We paid for it and I kept the keys. My boyfriend came to town a day earlier than I expected him to.

The first night he arrived, we spent the night at a hotel he lodged at. Then I took him to the house the next day. It was completely empty. To make our stay there comfortable, we went to town and bought everything we needed together. Everything was going well with us until I went through his phone one day. My seemingly faithful boyfriend was chatting with so many girls. He was flirting with some of them and seeing others. I even saw a photo of him and one of the girls.

My heart was torn but I remained calm. I did not confront him or make it known to him that I knew what he was up to. Occasionally, I would find a used toothbrush that belonged to neither of us at home. When I asked him whose they were, he accused me of being paranoid.

One day, a girl came to the house while he was at church. She knocked on the door but by the time I went to open it, she was gone. After she left, the gate man took my phone and called Morris. I don’t know what they talked about but when he got home he asked me, “Did you see the person who was at the door?” I said no, but he asked me again and again.

Around 8:00 pm that same day, another girl came to the house. This time around, I opened the curtain and saw her. He didn’t allow her to enter the room. They remained outside for over an hour. He then came to me and asked me to act like his sister. When I refused he said the girl threatened to kill herself because he had me. “Do you want her blood on your hands?” I didn’t, so I wore my acting boots and pretended to be my boyfriend’s sister for the benefit of this girl.

When she left, he apologized for all that happened. Then the next day he took me out and confessed all his indiscretions to me. He admitted that he had been bringing girls home whenever I was at my place. He promised to never do it again if I gave him a second chance. He said he would take off all the passwords on his phones so I would monitor him and know that he had truly changed.

I saw sincerity all over his face so I forgave him. A few weeks later, he asked for my phone to play music. I gave it to him and he went through my WhatsApp messages, Google search history, Facebook, and every single app on the phone. He found out that I was once addicted to pornography. That was all he found. It was my past, not my present. I was not cheating on him, nor had I ever looked at another man since I met him. Yet he was upset. I explained to him, “I stopped doing all this since I met you. I am sorry that you had to see traces of it on my phone.”

That same day, he went to a party with his friend around 7 pm. At 2:00 am he called me. He was drunk. “There is a girl here that I want to bring home. So I need you to go to your place,” he said. I couldn’t believe him. “You want me to leave at this time? You can’t be serious. It’s not safe,” I tried to reason with him. His response was, “Please, do this one thing for me and I’ll forgive you for everything I found on your phone.”

I got angry and packed all my stuff. I had nowhere to go so I went to an empty house next door. At 4:00 am, I saw him going home with a girl. I don’t know how he realized that I was in the house next door but he came there and saw me sleeping on the floor. He only exclaimed, “Oh my God, I will be right back!” and then went back to his house. He didn’t return till the next morning.

It was raining so the place was cold. He came to meet me shivering. He pleaded with me to go back home with him and I did. He introduced me to the girl as his sister. I was enraged but I did not want to make a scene so I kept my composure.

READ ALSO: Please Help, I’m Half A Minute Man

The girl wore his clothes and slept in our bed, while I sat in the sitting room the entire day. When she spoke to me, she said she had been seeing Morris for two weeks. I smiled and nodded at everything she said until she eventually left at 7 pm.

When she left, my boyfriend knelt down and started crying, “Baby, I am sorry about that. I will never do it again.” He spent the entire night crying and apologizing. I really love this guy. I believe my senses have left me because I forgave him again. As I write this story, he still apologizes.

I Suspected She Was Cheating On Me But There Was No Way To Prove It

I asked him to introduce me to at least one of his family members. He promised to introduce me to his sister but he never did. When I brought it up recently, he said he didn’t want his mother to know that he was in Africa so we should hold on with the introductions. We then talked about the passwords on his phones and he answered, “I am a man. You shouldn’t touch my phones unless you are charging them.”

I don’t know if he has really changed or if he ever will. He continues to attend church every Sunday. Sometimes, his church friends spend the night with us at home. On the outside, he looks like a man fighting to overcome his demons. But I cannot tell if his demons are still in possession of him or if he is winning the war. I love him so much that I believe he will change. But maybe my love has blinded me. So I need your advice. Should I give him time? Should I leave? What do I do?

—Lucy   

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB