If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.
He didn’t understand why I wasn’t calling and answering his calls. He came around to check if everything was alright with me. He asked if everything was Ok. I told him I was fine. “If you are fine then why are you doing this to me?” I said, “Don’t worry I’m fine.” He asked, “So when are you coming around again?” I laughed in my head, “Come where again? For what? This guy paa.” But he wanted an answer so I said something to get him off my neck.
I continued avoiding him until one day he told me, “If you can’t go on again, at least respect me enough to tell me it’s over instead of treating me the way you are doing. I haven’t done anything wrong so I can’t understand this your new behavior.” That day I told him the truth—that it was over. That I couldn’t stand it. That everything about it traumatizes me. He laughed. He asked, “Are you serious? How can that be a reason enough for you to leave? We didn’t even do it.” Somehow, he thought I would change my mind so he stuck around for a while, calling each day to check up on me. But my mind was made up that I won’t allow that thing to touch me. Never.
As time went on, he lost hope and left me alone. But he was a good guy so every now and then he crossed my mind. I thought of our times before that evening. We didn’t stay for long but those moments where he went out of his way to extend a helping hand to me always came to mind. Sometimes I wanted to go back but the voice in my head kept telling me, “Abi you want to die?” I gave up. I stopped every flow of thought that wanted me to go back to him until I was finally over him.
One evening Abena came to visit and we were having a conversation and David came up. She asked me, “But that guy was cool ooo so why did you leave him?” I said, “Calm waters drown easily my dear. He was calm but hey, all was not calm.” When I told her the story of that night, she broke down and got paralyzed with laughter. She thought I was joking. I said, “Abena, I kid you not, this is no exaggeration. That guy, he’s not for children, I beg.” After laughing her lungs out she said, “You didn’t have to leave because of that. It’s ok if you didn’t want to ‘eat’ him but leaving because of that wasn’t right.” I said, “I had no other reason and I couldn’t think of any other reason.” She said, “What can’t a woman swallow? Babies with big heads koraa we give birth to them so what’s there to fear? He only had to be gentle and the rest would have been history.”
I didn’t want to argue with her because she wasn’t there when I saw what I saw.
Last year during the lockdown, I was very lonely. My mother and my other siblings traveled to stay with my father in Aflao where he was working. I didn’t go with them so I was the only one left in the house. I found it very hard to sleep. At night, I got restless due to my inability to sleep. I was online one late night when I saw David’s status. He had uploaded the status not too long ago. I checked him up and he was online. I sent him a hello and he sent one back immediately. He said, “Long time Priscilla. So you dey?”
That simple question plunged us into a ceaseless conversation that lasted until the cock crowed. The next day we talked again and the day after the next day we did it again. He became the friend I needed during the lockdown. One day our past caught up with us so we talked about it. Both of us had moved on so we could talk about it without investing our emotions. He said, “You didn’t try at all.” I said, “I know I didn’t. I acted out of impulse.” Then he started telling me his own struggles about his goliath.
He said, “A girl saw it one day and immediately requested for no sex before marriage. I agreed. I loved her so much that I didn’t want to lose her but later, I found out that while I was waiting until marriage, she was busily getting it from a guy she said was a friend. I had another girlfriend. I was shy at first but she was pushy. She thought I was green and didn’t know what intimacy was about. She was always pushing for it until one day I met her squarely. She looked at my face and looked down at the goliath. She said, “You don’t look like someone who could own such a thing.” She too didn’t last. I was able to stay off you for six months because I didn’t know how you’ll react.” I said, “You should have stayed off forever.”
We laughed about it and for once I wasn’t thinking about it the way I used to. When soldiers were heavily present in town, he drove from his house to my place to keep me company. Not once and not twice. Anytime I needed his company and I called him, he came around.” When I was with him, I couldn’t take my eyes off his flap. It was like I was waiting for the moment where it would slip out so I could run for my life. He was a gentleman so that didn’t happen. He never made an attempt on me or ever tried to even sit closer to me. He’ll come, we’ll talk and he’ll later leave. He’ll ask me, “So when?” I will tell him, “Come whenever you feel like.”
When the lockdown was extended. I called him to vent my frustrations. He said, “Just risk it and come and visit me. They won’t beat you. It will make you feel like you’ve done something and that will kick the boredom away.” I did. I went to his place to visit. I was killing two fears with one stone; the fear of the military catching me and the fear of his flap opening up unexpectedly. I was with him all day until in the evening he went to drop me. I remember sending him a message thanking him for being a gentleman and making me feel safe around him. I remember telling myself, “Why don’t you give him a second chance, he’s quite good, you know.” I was only waiting for him to shoot his shot again but he didn’t until months later. When I was about dropping the thought of him ever proposing. he proposed.
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When he said we should try again, I said, “Let’s try again. This time I will be bold.” He asked me, “What are the rules?” I said, “No rules just be yourself.” One day we kissed. The two of us were very stiff. I didn’t want any part of my body to come into contact with his goliath. I think he was also trying to prevent it. I saw his flap. It was up. I said to myself, “We will die so we won’ sleep?” I went for it. Still huge and heavy but I was calm. Abena’s words echoed in my head, “Babies with huge heads are still born, how much more this?” I told him, “Let’s try.” He looked surprised.” I said, “Just be gentle with me.” And he was truly gentle.
A year later, I still look at him and I shudder but when it comes down to business, I pass with flying colors. He looks like the one. He also calls me the one. I don’t know too much about the future but it looks promising. Abena calls me lucky because I’ve gotten what fits. I tell her, “He doesn’t use it on you so you can say nonsense.”
Maybe the first time I wasn’t prepared. I needed time to get used to seeing it and now that I have, I think I overreacted the first time. Now guess who is grateful to me for bringing the goliath back home…wink.
–Priscilla
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