She was my classmate. I was the guy who sat in front of the class and pretended I was a serious student. She was the girl who loved to be at the back of the class where the valuation lecturer wouldn’t point at her and say, “Esi, what is the Dividend Discount Model?” She loved to hide at the back because mostly, she didn’t have answers. I was the guy who was friends with all the beautiful ladies in the class. She was beautiful but wasn’t my friend because she was always at the back—at the back where the guys who wanted to hide also sat.

In 2008, our class went on industrial attachment. The two of us stayed on campus. She visited my room one night. We watched movies. We ate. We drunk. The next day she came again. And the following day she came. It was just the two of us every day and every night. One night, we kissed. She asked, “Why are you kissing me? I don’t remember the answer I gave but she kissed back so I was good. From that day on, we became a boy and a girl who kissed when they were alone.

Our class returned from industrial attachment to see us together. She didn’t sit at the back of the class again. She sat at the front where the valuation lecturer would see her and ask, “What is the Difference between Enterprise value and equity value?” She would get up and give a correct answer and the class would be surprised. What they didn’t know was that, while they were all away, she stayed with me at the library and we learned together. She was no longer the girl who sat at the back and gossiped while the lecturer was lecturing. She had become the girl who took the marker from the lecturer and solved questions on the board.

I’ve forgotten the date, but I think it was around 2010. We had completed our national service and were looking for a job. That was the most difficult time of my life and that difficulty was brought upon me by myself. People go to school for a certificate. I went to school, got a certificate and also got a girlfriend. I don’t know what I was thinking. Maybe, I thought my certificate alone couldn’t get me a job so I had to embellish it with a girlfriend. After national service, I went through life with fears that I won’t get a job and also lose my girlfriend to someone who has a job.

I made it a job to look for a job before I lose everything but a year later, I was still home, jobless and useless.

One evening, I was walking with Esi around Amakom, close to the Genesis hotel in Kumasi. I was in front of her. Being in front of someone is the only way an unemployed man like me could get ahead of anyone in life so I took pleasure in being ahead of her whenever we walked. Just around the bend to Genesis hotel, I heard the screeching sound of a car behind me. I turned back and saw a white SUV parked in the middle of the road. The driver did “siii” to signal Esi to draw closer.

By the time Esi got to the car, I was already standing next to the driver.

The guy looked at me and looked at Esi. He asked, “Are you with him?” She responded, “Yeah.” The guy looked at me again. This time, the look started from my dirty feet to the tip of my tallest hair. He said, “I’m going to Genesis hotel, where can I pass?” I retorted, “You don’t have to pass anywhere because you’re already in front of Genesis hotel. Any more questions?” Again, he looked at my feet. He said, “Whɛ ne nan asi fi bi.” He didn’t say it out loud. He said it in his head but I heard it. Being unemployed gives you the ability to hear the silent insults people dish at you. Even when they don’t insult you, you still hear the insult because you look like an insult.

He stepped on the pedal and drove away. Esi said, “You were ahead of me so why did you come back here to destroy my market?”

She was making a joke out of the situation but an unemployed man doesn’t have time for jokes. I said, “Don’t mind these potbellied men. They’ll just destroy your life for you. One day I’ll get a job. I’ll make money. I’ll buy a bigger car than this one. I’ll tell you to close your eyes and make a wish. By the time you open your eyes, whatever you wished for will be right in front of you. The future is bright. Don’t mind that idiot.”

One day I got a job. Good news, right? I worked for two years and decided to get married.

I was twenty-seven when I picked up the phone and called my aunt and said; “I want to marry.” I could imagine her taking the phone off her ears to check if she was talking to the right person. She asked, “What did you say?” I answered, “I want to marry so call my dad and mom and tell them.” She asked, “Is it one of your jokes or you’re serious?” I repeated, “I want to marry and I’m serious about it.”

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She simply said; “No you can’t marry. I’m telling you that you can’t and you can’t. How old are you? What do you have that you want to marry? You’re in school (I was doing a two-year top-up at Tech). Concentrated on your books and leave marriage to another day.” She dropped the line.

I told my aunt because she’s my mother’s elder sister. Apart from that, I lived with her for many years before I finally moved to live with my parents after senior high school.

The following day my mom called. In her usual sarcastic tone, she asked me, “Awo na ɛsi dɛn no? You want to what? Who, Esi? And she has also agreed to marry you? You?” She burst out laughing. “I won’t say much. Your aunt has told you everything. You’re not there yet and no one is forcing you to marry. Take your time.”

Obviously, both of them were not ready to listen so I went home one day to talk to my dad about it. My dad was eating when I got there. I picked a chair and sat next to him. I said, “Dad, I want to marry. You know Esi, right? She’s the one.” He didn’t even look at my face when he said, “You want to marry? That’s good. Call her parents. Ask them when they would be available. We can go and do the knocking.”

Can Two People With Different Faiths Succeed In Marriage?–Beads Media

I got up with my shoulders high, looked at my mother and wagged my tongue at her. She wasn’t angry. She said, “Give me Esi’s father’s number and let me call him.” That was it. My dad paid for my wedding. My aunt paid for plenty of things and later told me, “If you need more money call me.”

She was 21 when I found her. I was 24. She’s 35 years today. How time flies…

Our names have changed several times but we still remain the same; We were called Classmates. We became Lovers. We later became a Husband and a wife. Currently, we are called parents. The names keep changing but we are still who used to be, lovers.  We no longer worry about who sits in front of the class and who sits at the back. Today, we sit next to each other while we watch two boys grow before our eyes.

The questions have changed. We no longer answer questions on Sinking Fund. We answer questions on how to get our feet off the sinking sand. Fourteen years later, she still thinks I owe her a proposal. A boy meets a girl. The boy proposes to the girl. The girl says, “Give me some time to think about it.” That’s how normal relationships start but I jumped over that phase and went straight to the part where the boy kisses the girl and they live happily ever after.

–NJE

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