I have scars all over my body. Mostly on my legs. Still, I didn’t let it bother me. I wore whatever I wanted to wear. Shorts, short dresses, mini skirts, name them. Whatever I felt like wearing, I wore. I have always had a beautiful face so I banked on that to counter the scars on my legs. Truly, most people didn’t pay attention to my legs because they were always captivated by my face. Because of this, I was so confident in myself. Nothing about my body ever got to me until I wore a short dress one day and my cousin saw my legs. She remarked, “Are these your legs? How come I have never noticed your scars?” I shrugged and told her I had always had them. I said this with nonchalance but it got to me a little.

The next person after my cousin who made me feel bad about my body was a guy I fell in love with. This guy saw the way I looked before proposing love to me but as soon as we started dating, he had a problem with me. First, he said I was too skinny for him. A few weeks into the relationship, he told me that if it was possible for him to give me some of his butts to make mine bigger, he would. I laughed and so did he but it really got to me.

The next thing he did was buy Apetamin for me. He told me, “I want you to take it and put on some weight.” I wanted to make him happy so I started taking the drug. All I did was eat and sleep. Yet I couldn’t put on weight. My friends became worried about me because I was always sleeping but my boyfriend still complained bitterly that I wasn’t thick enough for him.

One day I realized that I was hurting myself so I stopped taking the drug. This guy was not happy about my decision. Every little chance he got, he would pass demeaning comments about my weight. As for my scars, he didn’t want to see them at all. I had to cover up whenever I was with him before he would be happy. Slowly, his disapproval of my appearance chipped away at my self-esteem.

I was no longer the girl who walked with her head held high in spite of her flaws. Rather, I became the girl who felt too hideous for the world to see. I started walking like a shadow. If you are observant enough, you would notice me shrouding into myself whenever I was in public. On the streets, I preferred walking on the fringes of the road, as if I would be invisible to the world if I didn’t take up too much space. He even saw it once and asked me, “Why are you walking like that? Are you afraid of the road?” I am not going to lie, this guy broke me.

The relationship stressed me to the point where I started getting acne. Really big ones on my face. I remember calling him on a video call when the acne started. I wanted to show him what I was going through. The moment he saw my face he said, “What’s this?” And then he hung up. I was so hurt and felt ashamed of myself. “The one thing I had going for me was my pretty face but now I lost it. Then what do I have to offer this guy?” I often asked myself.

The more I was stressed, the worse my face got. Everyone who saw me was concerned. Sometimes they screamed, “Eii, what’s going on with your face?” I couldn’t even stand to look at myself in the mirror anymore. Nose masks became a fashion accessory for me. I wouldn’t be caught in public without it.

I was in that toxic relationship for six years before I finally got out. By the time I left, I was convinced that I was ugly. So later along the line when I met a good man who was trying to get my attention I kept him at arm’s length. I still had those big acnes on my face when he first called me beautiful. Oh, I didn’t believe him. I convinced myself he was mocking me.

The good thing is, he didn’t allow my insecurities to come between the love he had for me. He didn’t impose his presence on me but he also didn’t allow himself to be deterred by my flight or fight response every time he got close. He patiently coaxed me out of my shell with positive words and actions.

READ ALSO: My Husband Came To My Office To Warn My Boss

The first time I let him see my scars he called me perfect. I found it difficult to accept his compliments but he didn’t relent. Slowly, I came to trust him with my heart. That was when I knew that indeed, this guy loved me; acne, scars, thinness and everything my ex found wrong about my body. This man helped me to see myself in the light I used to see myself before my ex broke my confidence. I started believing I was beautiful again.

I would walk into a room and hold my head high despite my imperfections. When I fully accepted myself, I felt whole. That was when my acne started healing. I started feeling and looking like the proud and confident woman I was meant to be. Every time I look back at my past, I tell myself that there is truly someone for everyone. Julius’ unwavering love is proof of that. He is currently more than a boyfriend in my life. No, we are not married yet but we are getting there.

We Broke Up Because Her Mother Didn’t Like Me | Hot Seat

I decided to share my story because I came across a post by Paulina, who said she was too skinny for her boyfriend. I want to let her and any woman in her shoes who is with a man who makes them feel unworthy of love because of their bodies that they are perfect.

Be it that he says you are too skinny, too fat, too scarred, too hairy, or that he wants you to do things that make you uncomfortable in your body, baby girl, leave. He is not good for you and trust me, there’s a man out there praying and waiting to meet you. You may be an embarrassment to one person, but to another person, you are a prayer answered.

— Cherry 

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB