I’m not a social media person. It’s my wife who goes there and comes with the news. On an ordinary day, I will like to watch movies, listen to music or do anything else than be on social media. If I have to read trending news, it’s Facebook I get it from. That’s the only social media app I use but my wife is on all the apps you can think of. She’s not just there, but whatever happens there she partakes in them. I’m not a man to restrict her movement or tell her what to do. I believe women or our partners are always at their best when we give them the freedom to explore what makes them happy as far as it doesn’t hurt the relationship.
So my wife will attend programs she found on social media. It could be prayer meetings, it could be picnics, it could be whatever tickles her fancy. I don’t restrict her. I will stay behind with our two kids while she goes and comes with the news.
Not too long ago she told me about their SHS school reunion. She couldn’t keep quiet about it. Every minute she went on Whatsapp she came up with something new about the event. From all indications, she was happy she was going to meet her mates after seventeen years of leaving school. When the day arrived, she left early in the morning and called when she got to the venue.
I was expecting her to be home around 6 pm but she wasn’t home at that time. At 7 pm, I called her and she told me, “We are at the climax of the program. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine but I will come home before 9 pm.”
She got home after 10 pm when the kids were already sleeping. I wasn’t happy about the time she came home so I made my feelings known to her. She said, “I’m sorry about that but I couldn’t leave when the program had gotten to its climax. Maybe next time you should go with me so you don’t have to worry about the time I get back home.” Her apology wasn’t enough but I let things go. She had had a long day and fighting her wouldn’t be the best option.
She went to the bath and came to bed smelling like a new flower. I tried touching her but she put my hands away. “I’m tired. Will you die if you allow me to have a full night’s rest?” I didn’t attempt again until early morning before the sun came up. Again, she threw my hands off her. I got up and went to see the kids while she was sleeping. When I came back into the room she was still in bed while her phone’s screen flickered. There was a message on the screen that got my interest. I touched the screen and read the message.
“I’m happy you had fun. I did too. I’m around whenever you need me.”
The message didn’t sound like a beginning of a conversation. It sounded like a lot had been said already so I decided to go into the phone to see what had already been said.
My wife sent a text to this guy around 11 pm saying, “Thank you for making my night. I really enjoyed it. I hope it doesn’t end here. Good night.” The guy’s name had been saved as Tosh.
That name came up in one of the stories he told me when we were dating. He was the guy he was crushing on when she was in SHS. From the story, she told me, they never spoke until a few days before they completed school. She realized the guy also liked her and was angry the guy didn’t say it until they completed school. That was it. Seeing Tosh on her Whatsapp rang a bell but most of the chat had been deleted except the one she sent in the night and a couple of others that didn’t mean anything.
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I went to her Facebook Messenger and also saw a chat between them. Their conversation became consistent a few weeks before the program. Again, if you read the messages carefully and follow the line of conversation, you’ll realize a chunk of the messages had been deleted. It didn’t feel right. Looking at how tired she looked while sleeping made it look like a lot more happened than a mere reunion. I took my time to check the photos of the night. There were about three different locations where she took photos with friends and Tosh. The busy scene where they had the program, outside of the venue and another venue that looked different from the other two.
I was convinced my wife had slept with her SHS crush.
When she woke up, I sat her down and told her everything I had done while she was sleeping. I showed her the messages, the photos, spoke about the differences in the background of the photos and reminded her of the story she told me about Tosh. I concluded, “If you tell me the truth, we’ll settle it right here and now. If you lie to me, things will get worse. What did you do with Tosh while at the program?”
She was visibly shaking but was trying hard to make it unseen. She said, “So, you did all that because you think I will sell myself cheap to someone I knew while I was a girl? I have two kids. I’m a married woman. He has three kids and is a married man. Why would I stoop that low to do that with him when I know I have a husband waiting for me in the house? Wherever we went, there were other mates. Nothing happened. My message was just an appreciation. Everything I drank or ate there, he paid for it hence the appreciation. I never knew you didn’t have trust for me, I would have been careful.”
She rather took offence and left the discussion. She concluded, “That’s the truth. If you think it’s a lie, you can do whatever you want to do but make sure nothing breaks because it would be hard to fix it after that.”
I know a couple of her friends but I can’t go and ask them questions about the night. Something might break. I know the Facebook account of Tosh. I have his number and even know where he works. Yes, I’ve done all that investigations but I can’t approach him and ask the questions I want to ask because something might break. All my life, I hadn’t suspected my wife until I saw those messages. I know she’s a fun-loving person and would do a lot just to have fun but I can’t also discount what I read and what my intuition is telling me just because of my wife’s past records.
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I’m worried. I want someone to talk to about this. She’s rather asking me to apologize to her if I want things to get back to normal. I feel she’s being manipulative. I didn’t get to the crust of the issue and she knows it. She knows there’s nothing to nail her on hence the show of bravado but I’m not a child. My intuition hadn’t been this strong. I want to ask, doesn’t this sound like infidelity? If you were in my shoes would you have let things go because of her explanation even though you believe something might have happened? I need opinions to clear my head because my marriage is being greatly affected. My kids are picking up the wrong energy and are asking questions. I want closure but that closure can only come from knowing the truth. What’s the truth?
–Joel
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My dear there is nothing wrong with you suspecting her,but mind you it better for you to allow to things to be. Time will bring everything that is hidden to light. All you have to do is for you to concentrate your kids cause if you allow this your suspicion to get the better of you your children will be affected badly. Leave your wife for her to do her thing. Let me tell you one thing mostly it’s the guilty ones who are always the first to pick a fight from one’s positive actions or their voice is always on the top because of guilt, they always want the ones who have confronted them in their wrong doings to apologise. If I were you I will apologise to her in order to get her of your back but please don’t trust her fully she is a man she will err definitely but at the end of the of the day when things come to light she will be the one to apologise if she has a little bit of dignity or even shame. Please be patient for the sake of you children. All in all don’t rush things, for all you may know she has done nothing wrong. Live your life as if there was no such thing to begin with ,so as to produce a positive environment for your self and your kids. Sometimes you have to lay low in order to win ,and to see things that one cannot see when one is not laying low. Sometimes you acting on suspicions does not help but put things into disarray ,one must always act when the is proof. Sometimes one has to play the role of an idiot so that people will not notice your suspicion
and use that image to un ravel misteries. Good luck .
I think you should have been a little patient and build a dossier on the information you were gathering to nail her!
You now have to apologise to her and open your eyes and ears wide
She will also learn from this!
There’s no smoke without fire. In my experience, A man’s intuition is never wrong. But you made a mistake by telling her everything you saw. Now open your eyes and ears and I’m sure you’ll nail her with irrefutable evidence very soon. In the meantime, pretend to have forgotten about the issue and try to be extra sweet. I bet you, she’ll let her guard down and you’ll catch her soon. Just be patient!
You rushed too much. Now she will definitely cover her tracks. Clone her apps. Apologize and make her no that the issue has been put to rest. The truth will definitely come to light
You should have tried to find more information since it wasn’t clear that’s the mistake you made . Apologies and act act dumb but keep you ears and eyes open . When she forgets and goes back to default settings you will find the truth.
U were only acting on suspicion. It’s possible she never went the extra wid her school mate. Clear and clean ur mind. If she actually did, just a matter of time, it will manifest.
Hello. I am in the same situation one day I Hope to write about it. 8 years of being married have evidence my wife is seeing a minimum of two new boyfriends and an ex sugar daddy who I believed was the uncle all along.
I took my time for things to roll since 2021 at the minimum and observed things. Every time u talk to her about it she makes it look like I am rather the bad person. Recently she said because I do not talk that is why she keeps talking to one of the guys.
My guy if I were you I will take heart and start planning my exist strategy. I will talk less and observe more the truth will come out.
Just recently someone I do not know who is not a pastor stopped me and told me I should open my eyes. When I opened small I got to know not everyday my wife claims she is going to work does she end up in work. Some times she goes to birthday parties and have the guts to come talk about it with her sister right under my nose.
My guy chill and observe more the truth will come out in ways u do not expect.