It all started one Friday when a lady I had not seen before entered our department and headed straight to our team to hand over the names of new staff to be added to the team. She caught my eyes that very moment but I didn’t want to seem too obvious. I had to be a gentleman and pretend I was focused on the task before me. While I was doing this, I was giving her a side eye until she left.

When we reported to work the next week, my manager showed up to introduce the new staff to our team. “Meet Yaa, Ama, and Efua,” he announced. We welcomed them warmly and also introduced ourselves to them. From there, some of us were assigned to help them settle in and get acquainted with our work culture and system. During that period, Yaa came to sit next to me. She and I started talking and a friendship bloomed.

Remember the lady who walked into our office that Friday? It was Ama. She was the one I was crushing on. She has all the physical attributes I want in a woman. The size of her breasts and butts were just perfect for me. She was assigned to someone else so I met her and Efua during lunch breaks. That’s why my favorite part of the day during that week became lunch breaks.

I didn’t have anything to say to them in the first weeks except work. So I would often ask them questions like; “What do you think of our organisation so far?” “How are you coping with work?” “Are you having any challenges with your work?” When they talked about the hurdles they experienced, I encouraged them to push through. “We all experienced the same things when we also started, but now we work like pros,” I would say. Through my motivational talks, Ama and I became friends.

Our conversations went past lunch breaks. We started vibing during working hours and after work. When I felt comfortable enough around her, I confessed my feelings for her. I told her I had been crushing on her right from the moment I set eyes on her. She laughed and responded, “While you are busy crushing on me, Yaa is head over heels in love with you. You should rather direct your affections toward her.” I told her she was the one I wanted but she insisted I try my chances with her friend.

Although Yaa was not the main object of my affection, I moved to her. I told her I liked her. I was sure she would agree to be with me but she told me, “There is something about you I can’t put a finger on. Until I figure you out, I want nothing to do with you. Let’s just be friends.” She wasn’t the one I wanted so I didn’t push it. I accepted her answer gracefully and went running back to Ama.

I told Ama that Yaa didn’t want me but she didn’t believe it. To prove it to her, I called Yaa and added Ama to the call. I proposed love to Yaa again and she turned me down without any hesitation. After the call ended, Ama started laughing at me. “Now that you are sure your friend doesn’t want me, can we talk about us?” I asked her. She reminded me that I had a girlfriend already.

It’s true that I had a girlfriend but we were having issues. That’s why I wanted to move on and be with Ama. However, Ama took everything I said about my interest in her as a joke. I was also relentless. Whenever I got the chance, I would pop the question, “Ama, will you be my girlfriend? I love you.” She always made jokes about it until one day when she called me, “Sugar boy.” Since then, our friendship took a new turn. A day wouldn’t go by without us speaking to each other. Sometimes we would talk late into the night.

One night she sent me a text after a lengthy conversation. The text read; “Good night. I love you.” That was the beginning of our love story. We tried to keep the relationship under wraps but some of our colleagues were suspicious of us.

Ama was good for me. With her help, I was able to stand my ground when it came to making certain decisions about my life. I was certain we would be together but things started going bad for us when her ex returned into the picture. She would tell me we should break up but I never accepted it. I would use emotional blackmail and suicidal notes to make her stay.

That’s what I did until one day when she came to work without even replying to any of the messages I sent to her on Microsoft Teams. That evening she called again and asked us to end things. She said, “It’s not about you. My ex-fiance has apologized for all the things he did that ended their relationship. And I want to give him another chance.”

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As always, I responded; “If you leave me, I will kpai myself.” We were still talking when I sent her a sad message I found online and edited it to look like a suicide note that was addressed to her. I believe that was the straw for her. She called several times and we spoke. I thought she would reverse her decision but she was hellbent on leaving me. I had no choice but to concede, and let her go.

The next morning she showed up at work and acted cold toward me. I apologised countless times for my attempts at emotional manipulation. Eventually, she forgave me but made it clear she wants nothing to do with me again. She says she will only talk to me at the office when it’s work-related. Apart from that, she doesn’t even want to catch me staring at her like the way I used to do.

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After our last conversation, I have accepted that I can’t be in a relationship with her but knowing that I won’t get the chance to talk to her is what I still can’t accept. She is determined to break all ties with me because she doesn’t understand why I would like to unalive myself because of a woman. She is right but I need her to forgive me.

Ama, I’m really sorry for everything. I know I was wrong but please, find a place in your heart to forgive me. I know she reads stories from here so she will see this post. Dear readers, kindly put in a good word for me. I want to at least be her friend even if I can’t have her the way I want.

— Kay

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