When Sam and I broke up, I was sure that was the end of our journey as lovers. I did not anticipate to meet him and start talking to him again. All I wanted to do was move on with my life and heal from the pain of losing him. If I happen to fall in love with someone new along the way, it would be great. I didn’t expect much. I just wanted peace of mind.

Life is such a way that you would envision yourself taking one path only to find yourself on an entirely different path. That was what happened with Sam. Two years after our break up, I was convinced I had moved on. I was in a better and happier place than I was when things ended.

Out of the blue, he reached out. We were just saying, “Hello, how are you doing?” at first. I didn’t think much of it, really. Just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean we can’t check up on each other, right? Our break up was not a hostile one so there was no bad blood between us. We just had irreconcilable differences. That was what made us walk away.

Within a matter of days, we had moved from saying hello to having conversations. The more we talked, the more I was reminded of the good times we shared. I started to miss him. He also started to miss me. “We should meet up and catch up. It’s been long,” he proposed. I thought about it.

I was still single. I wondered if he asked to see me because he wanted us to talk about our past and maybe, rekindle the love we once shared. A girl is allowed to hope, you know. Anyway, I agreed to meet him. It was out of curiosity mostly.

I went to see him and I liked what I saw. It didn’t feel like two years had passed since we broke up. Everything simply fell into place. We were laughing about the same inside jokes, and having the same conversations we used to have when we were together. It was easy to just be myself around him. That’s what familiarity does to a person.

Sam also felt so comfortable that you wouldn’t know we were exes. I enjoyed how special he made me feel with the way he remembered little things about me. He said the right things that made my heart do a little dance in my chest. It was so great to spend time with him. I started wanting us back together. I thought he wanted the same thing as well. Why would he go through all that trouble if he didn’t?

After we parted ways, I asked if we could try again. “Yoyo,” he said, “I am not going to lie, I still love you. It’s just unfortunate that we cannot get back together. I am not in a good place.” He proceeded to tell me about a girl he dated after we broke up. He caught her cheating on him a month prior to our meeting. It broke him.

I watched him go through the pain of her betrayal. I was just being a friend. However, he advised me to move on. He told me, “If you hang around me, I might waste your time. I am saying this because I have decided not to attempt any serious relationship again until I am ready for marriage.” We had this conversation ten months ago.

Since then, I have kept my distance. I don’t call him or text him. I have just been focused on building my life so I can be a better person.

A few weeks ago, he started sending Instagram reels to my DMs. Every day I opened my Instagram, Sam would be in my DMs with a reel. I didn’t want to get reeled back into his life so I ignored him most of the time. Some days, I reacted with a laughing emoji. Other days, I also sent him a reel.

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All of that bothered me when I realized those little acts of communication were getting to me. They were messing with my head. The feelings I had for him that I was trying so hard to kill started resurfacing.

Last week he wanted to video call so he could see my face but I declined. Then this week, the reels were just popping in. I didn’t know what he was getting at but I couldn’t deal with it any longer.

When God Throws A Wife On Your Table

The next time he sent me a reel, this was my response; “I will appreciate if you stop sending this stuff to me. I am trying to stay away from you like you advised.” I was hoping he would seize the opportunity to tell me what it is he wants but he said, “I understand, I will try to stay away.” He hasn’t sent another reel after that.

Although I was curious to know what he was getting at, I couldn’t ask him. I am sure not I can handle it if he rejects me a second time. So we are both quietly keeping out of touch with each other now. It may not be what I want but I believe it is for the best. What else could I have done after he told me he still loved me but we couldn’t be together? Now, I want to ask what you guys think about the whole situation. Did I do the right thing or was I getting ahead of myself?

—Yolanda

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