I read the story of Abla, (the lady who discovered years later that her husband has two kids with another woman) and it reminded me of my own story. Abla was married but mine didn’t happen in a marriage. That’s the only twist to the plot.

I’ve been with this handsome guy for the past 6years and I just discovered that he has a two-year-old child with another woman. I can’t tell you how drenching that feeling is especially when you are the one providing in the relationship just because he has no job. I can proudly say I’ve been with him and his mother through thick and thin till his dear mother passed on.

This is a guy who has cheated throughout this relationship with multiple women. Some of these women he cheated with had called to threaten me. Some made it clear that they’ll pour acid on me if I don’t leave him for them. I know. You are asking why I chose to stay regardless of all these. Well, I think that’s what happens when you fall stupidly in love with someone who doesn’t know what love feels like. I was broken and tired of my own feelings for him. Some nights I cried myself to sleep thinking of all the plans I had to get married to him by the end of this year.

On the 5th of May 2021, I received a call around 12midnight from a strange number. The voice said, “Your man had an accident and he was rushed here. Someone needs to be here before we can attend to him.” I rushed to the hospital, paid the medical bills, and bought him new clothes so he could change from his blood-stained dress. I stayed with him throughout the night praying he gets well.

While at the hospital, I saw a certain number calling his phone. I decided not to answer it but this number kept calling and calling. When he was awake the next day, I told him, “A certain number had been calling your phone since last night. Maybe, it’s urgent so speak to the person.” He said, “Just ignore it. I can’t talk. “Looking at the number of times the number kept calling, I thought it may be something important so I called back immediately he fell back to sleep.

It was a lady’s voice and she identified herself as someone who has a kid with my boyfriend. Wow, I got my feelings all over the place. My heart kept beating faster as though I had run a marathon. I told myself, “This is it. This is where I leave the relationship.” When he came back to his sense and I told him what the other lady said, He told me, “I was drunk when the sex happened. When she told me she was pregnant, I didn’t know how to break the news to you.”

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From that point, it dawned on me that he wasn’t the man I need. I told myself, “I owe myself a better man and I owe my kids a better father who they’ll look at and feel proud of. I deserve happiness and clearly what I’m going through isn’t happiness.” I decided to leave the relationship there and then. When I told my mother about my decision to leave, she said, “All men are the same. You just have to pray and change him”

To whoever is going through such an ordeal with her man. All I will say is this…Don’t waste your time. Decide what you want to do and do it immediately. Decide what you want for yourself and go after it. Forget what your family or friends want you to do. It’s your life and only you know what will make you happy. After you’ve made your decision to move on, you’ll get all the support from people who truly love and care about you. Don’t settle for less all in the name of love.

–Efya     

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