I was eighteen when he proposed to me. He had come by my house thrice or more with his brother, Alex. Each time they were around, he looked at me and looked for an opportunity to make me see that he was looking at me. He tried talking to me once or twice. I didn’t give him the chance to say much because my eighteen-year-old heart didn’t have time for love and all those confusing feelings that came with it.

He said, “You don’t look my way when I try to get your attention. Now that I’ve found you here, let me tell you everything. I want us to be friends. More than friends I mean. Do you understand me?”

When I went home, I wrote exactly what he said to me in my diary. I said, “Dear Diary, Today Fiifi proposed to me (quoting his words) but I said no to him because his elder brother Alex is dating my elder sister. What is he thinking of? Doesn’t he know that it’s an abomination or he doesn’t have a head to think?”

Fifii never gave up on me. For weeks, each time he met me on the street he kept bothering me with his proposal. One day he asked me, “So let’s just say my brother is not dating your sister. Will you say yes to me?” My answer was, “Your brother is dating my sister. They’ve been at it since I was sixteen. They’ll get married very soon. So yes, look elsewhere and leave me alone. Unless you want me to tell your brother about it.”

He stopped pursuing but he didn’t stop looking at me. Each time when he came home with his brother, he would look at me. I would look back at him and flip my eyelids. He would look away. I would laugh and continue what was it that I was doing.

I was in school when I heard my elder sister was getting married to Fiifi’s brother. When my sister called she said, “Get ready, you’re going to be the maid of honor.” I asked when and she told me soon.

I was in school when I heard Alex had gone home with his family to perform the knocking rite. I said to myself, “This should be the end of dreaming days for Fiifi.” I even wrote it in my diary. In that particular entry, I made fun of Fiifi and his silly dreams of making me his wife; “If he ever thought he had a chance, today that chance slipped away.”

I gave my heart to a guy I had a crush on when I was in my first year. Jones. He looked perfect with a beard that accentuated his perfect jawline. On the days when I was crushing on him, I imagined myself playing with his beard and teasing him that each time when I kissed him, I took a piece of his hair with me. I wasn’t a teenager but I had these teenage dreams about a guy I thought would never be mine. The day he said hello to me, I said, “I love your beard. Are they real?” He asked, “Are there fake beards? You can touch it and see.”

A few days later, we were a couple.

It was Christmas and the family were together when my sister came home with tears in her eyes. She had been moody but said nothing to anyone. Some nights she would be on the phone talking to someone with an angry tone. Something was wrong but we didn’t know what that was until she came home that day with tears in her eyes.

“Alex has impregnated another lady. She’s six months pregnant but he’s now telling me about it.”

She threw herself on the floor while crying like a baby. My dad said, “It’s alright. Let him go and marry that lady. I don’t think he can step a foot here again.” My mom asked, ”You won’t even wait to hear from the other side? He might have explanations.” My sister continued, “The only explanation he’s giving me is that his family wants him to marry the pregnant lady.”

My dad called Alex on the phone and asked what was going on. After the call, he said, “Bastard! That’s the end of you.”

Christmas is a bad day to have your heart broken. You see happy people around you but you can’t be happy. I would be dancing in the corner but once I saw the face of my sister, I would stop dancing and pretend I was mourning with her. It was very difficult for her. She lost her appetite. She lost her weight. She lost her love life.

I was doing my national service when Fiifi contacted me. He said, “I’m still not over you yet. The reason that made you say no to me is no longer valid. Will you say yes to me now?”

I hadn’t heard from him in years. He wasn’t even in Ghana. I replied, “There’s enough reason than before for me to say no. Do you think my family will accept you looking at how your brother treated my sister? My sister won’t even forgive me if I date you. Forget it.”

He sent me a message that got me thinking for days. He said he had dated three different women he felt were perfect for him but each relationship ended when he thought everything was going well. “Maybe I’m not meant to work with anyone but you.”

READ ALSO: We Earn The Same Salary But She Expects Me To Pay For Her Expensive Taste

It was the same with me. The perfect beard guy I was crushing on crashed my heart to pieces with his perfect jawline. I found another man but he was married. I didn’t know until five months into the relationship. The next guy who tried to woo me was a blind guy. He was so persistent he came by my house every morning and evening to say hi. I asked him, “You don’t even see me so why are you so sure?” He answered, “I don’t see you but I find my way here every day. How do I see my way here?”

I wrote in my diary one dawn, “What if Fiifi is right? What if we are both struggling in love with others because we belong to each other? What if my sister and Alex didn’t work because of us?”

He called to tell me he was coming back to Ghana so I should be ready for him. I told him, “You should be ready to face my father and not me.”

I was in town when my dad called. He said, “Alex’s brother is here. He’s telling me something. Did you accept his proposal?” I screamed, “No I didn’t. What’s he saying?” My dad cut the call. When I got home he warned me, “If you don’t know how we die, observe the way we sleep. See what happened to your sister and learn. Her life hasn’t been the same. Take your time.”

Fifii spent one month in Ghana, he came to my house twice every three days to talk to my father. He came with his mom once. He came with a pastor once. He said, “I’m not here as a boyfriend. If you give us your blessings, I’m marrying her as soon as possible.”

I think my dad got frustrated. I got frustrated too. I told him, “What if my dad says yes and I say no? Don’t you see you’re wasting your time?” He answered, “When your dad says yes, you’ll agree with me, I believe so.”

It was my sister who made things easier for us. She said, “Fiifi is not Alex. They are brothers but they didn’t share one umbilical cord. He came with marriage. Just listen to him. I don’t have any problem with that.”

My dad thawed down his resistance. The day Fiifi came to say goodbye to us, my dad said, “If it’s nothing but marriage, then go on. She’s all yours.”

He postponed his flight for four days to be able to talk to me. I said yes even before he completed his sentence. God rewards a man’s effort. Who am I not to reward Fiifi’s effort?” I wrote in my diary, “Dear Diary, I said yes. Brace yourself for a ride. If I die, you’ll tell my story. If this story ends well, you’ll breathe some fresh air around here.”

He came back nine months later to marry me. His father said, “We are destined to be a family that’s why we are here the second time.”

Alex was there. My sister was there too. It was awkward but I was looking at them. My sister wore a frown. Alex wore the face of a repentant armed robber. He couldn’t breathe well, I could see. My sister left the room and the next time I saw her was in church during our white wedding.

I Lost My Virginity When I Was Seventeen

We did it but not without fear, but I believe it’s the presence of fear that made us do the right things. Recently, he was teasing me, “You were playing hard to get, now see your big belle. The next one would be a triplet.” I told him, “Do you think we would be here today if I said yes when I was eighteen?  I don’t claim to be clairvoyant but we would have died long before today.”

He agreed.

Just as he agrees with me on everything that happens in this journey we call marriage.

—Dora

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******