The fight that brought the marriage of my parents to an end happened in an evening. It happened right before my eyes. My junior brother was sleeping but he woke up because mom’s voice was too loud. I was seventeen. My brother was twelve. Immediately my brother came out to stand next to me, my mother screamed, “Look at these children, do they look like your children? I’m their mother but you’re not their father. You think you’re the only one who can cheat?”

My dad stared at us without a word for a while. There was anger in his eyes. I didn’t know why he wasn’t talking. Why he wasn’t claiming us. When he finally spoke, he said, “Thanks for telling me the truth. The whole world will know I’m not the only devil. You brought another man’s children to me? I knew it. I knew you did!”

He rushed into the room, leaving us standing there fatherless for the first time. I remember thinking, “Is that all? Mom says he’s not our father and he won’t do anything?” Mom didn’t go in again. She screamed, “Follow me” and we did without asking any questions. We ended up in our grandparents’ house, where we lived for the rest of our childhood life.

My dad, the man my mom said wasn’t my dad, Mr. Adjei, didn’t marry my mom officially. My mom got pregnant and named him as the father of the baby. I was that baby. Mom moved in with him even when he hadn’t performed any marriage rite. When mom got pregnant again, Mr Adjei went home to see my mom’s family. He performed the knocking rite with the promise that once the baby was born, he would come home to perform the marriage rite. My junior brother was born but Mr. Adjei didn’t fulfill his promises.

Maybe my mom loved him too much to push him to do it or she was OK with the knocking rite. They lived together happily until that night when they fought. I never saw them fighting until that night so I was shocked just one fight could bring a marriage to an end. I had questions but my mom wasn’t the kind of woman who tolerated questions from her kids. She told me, “These are adult stuff. You’re a child. Concentrate on cracking the shells of a snail and leave the shells of the tortoise to the adults to handle.

While still a child, I sneaked to my dad, Mr Adjei’s house to see him. The first time he saw me, he drove me away. He was furious to see my face. He kept shouting, “Who’s your father? Didn’t you hear what your mother said?”

There was a woman in the house with him. I saw her face. She looked familiar but she wasn’t the reason for my visit so I disregarded her until I saw her the third time in my father’s house. I was old enough to understand that the woman had taken my mother’s place. I couldn’t tell my mom about it because she warned me never to see Mr Adjei again.

My mom was struggling to pay our fees at some point so I ran out of school and went to my dad’s house to ask for help. I still saw him as my dad because I was still bearing his name. If what Mom said was true, she would have changed our names but she didn’t. I went to this man to ask for help and the new woman came out. Immediately she saw my face, she said, “How long must he tell you before you stop coming around here?”

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My dad came out. He pointed at the belly of the woman and said, “You see her stomach? She’s pregnant with twins. These are my blood. I made them. I’d rather use my money on them than waste it on you people.” I was crying while he held my shoulder and pushed me away; “Go and tell your good-for-nothing mother to pay your fees.”

I was so hurt when I went home I told my mom that Mr Adjei said she was good for nothing. I told her about the new woman who was pregnant. I told her the babies were twins. I told her dad said he’d rather use his money on them than us who are not his children. Mom listened quietly until I was done before she jumped on me. She beat me like I was a common thief. My grandmother came to hold her hands but she used her feet to kick me. That beating wasn’t normal. It came from a place of burning flame, a place of betrayal and disappointment. I’d sold her problems to her enemies, hence the beating. She could have killed me without noticing it.

After the university, I thought I’d come of age so I went to my mom and asked who my father was. She snapped, “You don’t have a father. How many times do you want me to tell you? He drowned. He was eaten by sharks or was swallowed by a whale. He left no traces. Live with it. Dad or no dad, here you are.”

When I was about to get married in 2020, I told my mom, “I’m about to begin my journey with a man. I don’t want to go in with the ghost of my past. Let’s bury it once and for all so I begin with a clean slate.”

She told me,  “He’s your father and he knows it. He took what I said line, hook and sinker because he was looking for an excuse to marry the woman he was cheating on me with. Do you remember how quickly I got replaced?”

According to my mom, my dad cheated with that woman for over seven years. She caught them on several occasions but my dad denied it. Her friends told her the places they’d been meeting them. She desperately wanted to keep her marriage so she threw her friends away while believing my dad. For seven years, my mom believed a lie until that evening when my dad came out to say the woman was pregnant so he wanted to marry her as a second wife.

That was the reason for the fight that night. My mom wasn’t ready to be a second wife and was determined to hurt my dad back that was why she told him we were not his kids. She said it but she felt my dad would fight back but when he didn’t, she knew my dad loved the other woman so much he would believe in a lie just to have his way.

The woman miscarried the pregnancy eventually but my dad went ahead to marry the woman the way a woman is supposed to be married, fulfilling all traditional demands, something he never did for my mom. All that came together to enrage my mom, the reason she didn’t want to have anything to do with my dad. After telling me the story and saw the tears in my eyes, she said, “I know you desperately want a father. I won’t hold you against your will. Even if you want him to walk you down the aisle, I’ll be here to support you.”

I didn’t look for him or tell him about my marriage. I swore not to have anything to do with him but in 2021 during Father’s Day, I called to wish him a happy Father’s Day. He didn’t know who I was. I introduced myself before he screamed my name. He was elated. He asked about my life, my mom, my brother and everything. I told him I was married. He asked if my husband was a good man.

That same year, I went to see him with my husband. He apologized for not being at our wedding. I asked him, “So you still believe we are not your children?”

He smiled. “I realized your mother didn’t want me to be your father. I accepted it but I knew and have always known that you’re my kids. When I list my children, you always come first. It’s in every document of mine. I’m your father. It’s your mom who used anger to change it.”

He Called Me On The Phone So I Could Hear The Other Woman’s Voice

He’s a happy man. He looks well taken care of and lives in a great place but from that day, I decided I wouldn’t have a relationship with him. I call him every Father’s Day. He calls me once in a while. My brother doesn’t talk to him. He has even changed his surname. My husband changed my surname so none of us have anything that belongs to him. The last time we talked, I told him to take our names off his list and shouldn’t put our names anywhere close to his inheritance. He should concentrate on his current family and leave us out of everything.

He said, “Leave that to me to decide. When I’m dead and gone, you can decide the rest.”

—Nyarkoaa

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