If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

It took me a lot of strength to be able to publish my first story. I felt I would be judged, insulted, and misunderstood. So the day I received a message from Silent Beads that my story was going to be published. I responded, “Please don’t. I’ve changed my mind. I know what to do.” Honestly, I didn’t know what to do. Even if I did, I wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do. I was only scared of what people will say so I decided to chicken out. 

One late night I was asleep when I heard my phone ringing. It was my boyfriend. I looked at the time and it was around 11pm. He didn’t tell me where he was going and he didn’t tell me he was going to be late. When I saw his call, I was very angry so I ignored it. He called me a thousand times before I picked. He said, “How can you sleep like a corpse when you know I’m not home? Is that how you’re going to behave when we finally marry? You’ll sleep like a log even when your husband is not home? You don’t care to know where he is? It doesn’t bother you to call and ask where he went to that he was late? Get up and open the door for me.”

My heart swung inside my chest like a pendulum. It went left and it came right. I was so angry I decided to switch off my phone and continue sleeping. No matter the sin we want to commit in our lives, that little voice always comes in to remind us of the good in us. My conscience pricked me so I got up and opened the door for him. He was still angry and talking nonsense. I kept my cool throughout his rant. He went to the bath, bathed, and came to sleep next to me. He was still ranting; “A woman doesn’t sleep with both her eyes closed when her significant other isn’t home. It’s something no one teaches you but it’s one thing that can help you win over your man each day.” 

I chuckled. I turned my face towards the wall and slept. Throughout the night I was angry and restless. I picked up my phone and sent an email back to Silent Beads; “Please publish my story. I think I need answers.” The next day they responded, “Your story had been published. Kindly follow the conversation on our Facebook timeline.”

The whole day I didn’t go on Facebook. I was scared of what I may find under the comment section. But it didn’t leave my head. I was like, “What are they saying? I should throw his things out in the open and push him out? Or they are judging me. I swear they are saying I’m too desperate for marriage. I won’t even check the comment.” In the evening when he came home and asked about food, I said in my head, “I better check what these people are saying. This guy is beginning to get on my nerves.” So instead of serving him food, I opened my Facebook app and went straight to the Silent Beads page. 

The first comment I read came from a lady called Eunice Ackom Sampene. Wherever that lady is, may God bless her heart. I wondered why she cared so much to write so much for me. Her comment came in four bullet points. #1. Tell him you have to go home. Open up to your parents and go to them. Give yourself a break from this guy: So I took my leave from work and went back home to stay with my parents. His presence was getting me angry all the time and I needed that break from him.

Point #2 said I should text him and tell him that it was over. I couldn’t do that immediately. I needed to calm my head first and see how it goes. I wrote the breakup message but I couldn’t send it. I will wake up in the morning, stare at the message and close the app. “He had helped me before. Is that the best way to treat him?” I asked myself. “What if he has genuine concerns about the marriage? Look at him. He had bought some of the things so why don’t I give him another chance and see?” My heart was on his side so it delayed the action. One day he called me. He said, “The light went off last dawn. I thought it was a general light off. I woke up this morning to see that it was the prepaid that’s finished. Why didn’t you top up before going?” 

I told myself; “This is it.” 

It was like I needed a springboard to throw me high up in the skies. I told him calmly, “Gentleman, I’ve had enough of disrespect and bullying from you. The light went off and you are bold enough to ask me that silly question? You think I’m your mother? You think I’m alive just to take care of your needs? I’m tired. Don’t say another word. Just pack your things and leave the house. I’ll send someone to come for the keys.” Right there he mellowed his voice; “Why are you angry because of this little thing I said? I wanted to be sure if you topped up. If you didn’t, it’s alright. I will load it when I go out.” I said, “You heard what I said. I’m giving you three days. There’s nothing there for you to pack. Just carry your bag and leave the house.”

I called the next morning and ask if he was ready to leave so I can send someone over for the keys. He asked, “Keke, are you serious? Stop it. It’s not funny.” I said, “Make it easy. Just leave before I send people to come and throw you out.” I guess he was shocked. When it dawned on him that I was serious, he sent me a long message apologizing for what he said and even made a promise that we would get married as soon as I return from my parents. I said, “Gentleman, I’m not taking my word back. Just pack and leave.”

The following day I called the Landlord. I told him everything. He asked, ”So you want him out?” I said, “Exactly that. I don’t want to see him on my return.” He said, “Give me his number. I will take it from there.” 

My boyfriend called. He asked, ”You gave my number to the landlord?” I said, “Yes I did.” He said, “So you asked him to kick me out?” I said, “The rent is due. He wants his keys so I told him to get it from you.” He said, “Keke, why are you doing this? Since when did you plan all this? I know you’re frustrated and I know I contributed to that frustration but hey, don’t be drastic. Come over and let’s talk about it. We’ve always solved our problems without a fight. We can solve this too.” I said, “Give him the keys when he comes around.” I stopped picking his calls. I stopped answering his text. The landlord told me, “When I went there he asked for four days to get ready.” I ensured never to pick his calls within those four days. 

One day, the landlord called and told me, “I have the keys now. He’s gone. I told him, “Please get someone to change the locks for me. He said, ”I’ll do that tomorrow.” I sighed. I gave myself a thumb up. I said, “You did it, girl.” 

He kept Calling, sending SOS messages as though he was in a shipwreck. I didn’t answer any of the messages. When my leave was over, I went back home and realized he packed all the things he bought for the marriage. It didn’t bother me. There was a bedside lamp he bought for me. He took it away. There was a shoe rack he got for me. He took that one too away. It didn’t bother me. As far as he was gone, I was happy. I went around the room and started breathing in the freedom I was going to enjoy. All of a sudden the room looked bigger than it has always been. I told myself, “Why didn’t I do this all this while?”

One day I was home when I heard a knock. It was him. He asked, “Can I come in?” I said, “No you can’t.” I was inside while he was outside talking to me. The trap door served as the barrier. He came to beg. He said, ”Keke, I’m ready for the marriage. I’ve got all the things we need. We can do it tomorrow if you’re ready.” I said, “Use it to marry the next woman you find. That woman who will be ready to take care of you and cater for the bills. I’m no longer that woman. I’m done so stay away from me. The next time you come around here, you won’t have it easy.” I locked my door and went back in.

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Like Eunice said at #4. He really “love bombed” me but I was so over him that nothing he said made a mark on my heart. I kept asking myself, “So I had this strength and I never used it all this while?” The answer is the fear of the unknown. “What if he’s really genuine about the marriage?” “What if I send him away and don’t get another man like him” But the question is, who really needs a man like him? 

I’ve stood my ground. I’ve done everything to cut him off. Recently he called me; “I want to see you.” I said, “For what?” He said, “I’m bringing the things I bought for the marriage. I don’t need them.” I said, “You need them. Everyone needs clothes for marriage so keep it for your next relationship.” He was about to say something when I cut the line. That day I blocked his number. I realized he’ll keep coming back as long as there is a route back to me.

I’ve been alone but not lonely. I’m giving myself a break from everything relationship. When I’m ready to go again, I will go with the lessons I’ve learned. I pray my next one is the last one. I’m not a bad person so how long will I keep getting the wrong ones?

–Kekeli

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