I wasn’t ready to fall in love with a woman who was fifteen years older than I was but Aunt Becky was relentless. Maybe, I shouldn’t have given her my number that day at the bank or I shouldn’t have picked up her call When she called me the first time.

“Hello Aunt Becky, I’m fine. How about you?”

“Don’t call me aunt Becky. Call me Becky. My friends call me Becky. It means you and I are friends.”

I should have known she was trouble when she came in but I gave her a long leash and in the end, she roped me in. “I want you to be my boyfriend,” she texted. I looked at the screen for several minutes thinking of the response to give her. I didn’t want to hurt her when all she had done was be kind to me. I didn’t want to push her away when she gives me whatever I ask for. I needed her around but not in the way that she was asking. In the end, I wrote back.

“I have a girlfriend. Does that not worry you? We’ve been at it for over two years. Everything shows we are getting married very soon. Does it not take the wind off your sail?”

Immediately I pressed the send button, I turned off my phone, scared to read her answer. “Maybe she’ll send one back and insult me for wasting her time.” “Wait, what if she stops throwing those favours my way? She promised me a new phone. I shouldn’t have sent her this message. I’m doomed.”

Hours later, I turned my phone back on. Her response was sitting pretty and patiently in my inbox. She said, “When it comes to love and emotions, I don’t know where to stop. Maybe I’m a fool but you having a girlfriend shouldn’t stop you from loving another. You’re a man and I knew you’ll have a girlfriend. Just play your cards well and we’ll be fine.”

I laid all my cards out there and she became my ace of spades. My girlfriend, Antoinette, had her role but Becky had her way. She needed me every day and I had to be available for her needs. In return for my companionship, she gave me money, bought me gifts, bought me a new phone and changed my life. Because of her, I didn’t touch my salary. She gave me more in a month than my company could pay me. When I told her I needed a car, she gave me one of hers, for a while. Life was good and even Antoinette felt the change in me.

She asked what the secret was and I told her I had been promoted at work. I bought her her favourite wig, I took her to expensive places when I had the time but the bad thing was, whenever she needed me the most and Becky also needed me at the same time, I chose Becky over her.

Antoinette was the one getting all the excuses. I tried to make it up with gifts and words but when it comes to love, presence is everything. So One day she sent me a message, “I believe we’ve disconnected. I’ve tried my best since last year to remain true and pretend it doesn’t bother me but I can’t. The best we can do now is let each other go so we can both pursue what’s important to us.”

I loved her. She was important to me and I didn’t want to lose her so I met her for a sit-down talk. I asked what I could do better though I already had the answer. I asked what I could do more and I asked what I could do less for her to know that I still loved her.

“You don’t even talk about marriage again these days but it used to be your anthem,” she said. “Do you know how many men I’ve been brushing aside because of what we have going? If you don’t want me again, please don’t waste my time.”

A light turned on in my mind. Right after that conversation, I knew what to do. I had dated Becky on the side for over a year and I had saved enough to push me far in life. I could leave her and still be alright. She could take her assistance away and I would still float. I had my job and what I had saved over the years. I went to Becky and told her what I thought could bring our relationship to an end.

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“I’m getting married very soon and I don’t think I can continue doing this with you while married. You’ve been good to me so I can’t lie to you. If you call, I may be busy arranging things for my wedding. We may not have enough time together so it’s best we end this.”

I don’t even know what gave me that boldness. She asked, “Antoinette?” I answered, “Yes. She’s the only one I have.”

I don’t know how she got Antoinette’s number or how she got to know her workplace. A week after telling her about my intention, she contacted Antoinette. Her intention was to tell Ann everything to break us up. Ann didn’t take it lightly. She thought it was an intentional agenda to destroy our relationship so she insulted Becky and from what I learned, slaps were exchanged. Ann came home with lacerations on her face. Becky too. To ensure everything is destroyed, Becky sent her screenshots of evidence and photos of where we had been, some in a compromising situation.

Ann came attacking me and blaming me for exposing her to danger. I apologized but she didn’t listen. She called off our relationship and warned me not to come close to her again. “You love mbriwa, go for them. Why are you wasting my time?” Becky called to threaten me. I was so angry so I met her boot for boot. “You can’t scare me. Didn’t you know I had a girlfriend when you came along? Why are you being a devil? You think I’m scared of you? Bring it on!”

That’s how I lost the two women in my life. Ann doesn’t want to hear my name. She hates my shadow so much that she’ll throw light on it if she meets it anywhere.

It’s been over a year already. I miss Ann and I call her. She’ll talk to me nicely but immediately I start talking about the past, she cuts me off. She told me she had started something new with a good man. It broke my heart but I wished her well.

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I still want her. If she forgives me today, I will marry her tomorrow because she’s worth it and more. Becky called to make amends. She told me, “I messed up, forgive me but know that I did it because I love you and don’t want to lose you.” I blocked her so she doesn’t find her way back into my life.

I’m empty without Ann but I won’t stop chasing. I might get lucky and get my wish. I won’t give up until I know I’ve done my best but just that my best wasn’t enough to get her to say yes to me again.

–Nino

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