Two months to our wedding, I took his phone to go through his photos. I wasn’t trying to snoop or catch doing anything. He hadn’t done anything to make me suspicious so I trusted him. However, for some reason, I accidentally opened his WhatsApp messenger. That was when I saw a chat between him and a certain girl. They were flirting.
I confronted him and he said, “It doesn’t mean anything. I was talking to her because I was bored. Things just got out of hand. But I will block her.” He apologized profusely. Although I was disappointed in him, I figured it was just flirting so I let it go.
One month before our wedding, I was calling him to discuss some details with him. I called him several times but he didn’t pick up. So I decided to just go to his place and talk to him. When I got there his front door was opened.
This was a new place he had rented so we would move in after the wedding. I barely went there. I am sure that’s why it never crossed his mind that I would show up. When I entered the living room I saw a lady’s bag on the couch. The fridge door was opened. He has whiskey in the fridge so I figured he took some out to serve his guest and was so much in a hurry that he didn’t close it.
The bedroom door was shut so I opened it, only to see him naked. When he saw me he blocked the entrance and tried to hold the door closed so I wouldn’t get in. It appeared the lady was also naked. I was raging on the inside but I calmly said, “You people should get dressed and come out so the lady can leave.”
While I stood behind the door I heard her say, “I am not afraid of her. I can face her.” I almost laughed, because I would never stoop so low to fight another woman over a man. I just wanted her gone. That’s all.
What I couldn’t understand was the fact that he wanted to have shuperu with someone else in a house we were supposed to start our lives in. We hadn’t even done it there yet. I sat down and waited for him to send her out.
Then he came to kneel down and begged me for forgiveness. “Nothing happened,” he pleaded, “You came in just in time to save me from committing the biggest mistake of my life. Please, if you leave me I will end my life.” I was angry. Even more so that he would try to manipulate me emotionally to take him back.
I left his place and blocked him. He found other ways to reach me. He didn’t want me to cancel the wedding. He was determined to work on himself and never repeat what happened again. “Our wedding is just a month away. Please don’t leave me. I won’t survive your rejection and the humiliation that will follow.” I tried not to listen to him but he was persistent.
If I block one number, he would call me with another. While this was going on I also took some time to think. Despite everything, I still cared about him. Besides, I had invested a lot of money into the wedding to just walk away. So I gave him a listening ear. He cried and begged until I said, “Okay. I will give you one last chance. If you do something like this again, I am done.”
Now, we are married. I’m currently pregnant and in my third trimester. Our marriage was a bed of roses until I decided to go through his phone on his birthday. I just wanted to read the messages his friends were sending to him and share in the joy he was feeling.
What I found rather brought me pain. He was still out there flirting. This time around, with multiple women. One of them seemed like his girlfriend. She was praising him for being such a wonderful boyfriend. I wondered if she didn’t know that he was married. They even have a hashtag.
READ ALSO: She Gave Me A Knock Right In Front Of My Parents Just Because She Was Older Than Me
I confronted him again and he said he would leave all those girls. He apologized and I moved on from that one too.
Now, this is why I am here today. Ever since I caught him the last time, he now sleeps with his phone under his pillow. And whenever he is texting and sees me approaching him, he puts the phone away. So I waited for him to sleep and took the phone.
I Haven’t Done It With A Married Woman Before | Story Board
I noticed that he has started deleting his messages. However, I saw a message between him and Ama. They were planning a date. This day that I am writing this story is the day they are going out. He told me he was going to work and I also played along. He is gone, and I am here thinking that I made a mistake marrying him. I have decided not to confront him anymore. He will only start adding on more lies.
Apart from his womanizing habits, he is an amazing and supportive husband. Should I just leave him to do whatever he wants and focus on my marriage?
—Ajoa
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
#SB
Maybe give him an ultimatum if he does
change divorce even though you won’tdo . It. Start by packing your things and tell him you are leaving . That alone will put fear in him . I think he has taken you for granted. My dear be a woman of words and action. Don’t allow him to be intimate with you. If the first option isn’t what you like then remove the ring as a sign of seriousness. If he doesn’t do so still don’t wear the ring until there’s a positive change. Don’t forget to pray. Don’t just focus on your marriage but rather focus on the presence of God in your marriage.
Some men are chronic cheats and it looks like you are married to one. You have to ask yourself some hard questions. Are you prepared to overlook his cheating ways? Are you prepared to risk contracting HIV/AIDS or other STIs? If the answer is yes, you can turn a blind eye and be happy otherwise, then as hard as the decision may be or the societal pressure let him go and be safe.
Boundaries and ultimatums are actions. Not words! Thank you