When we first got married I asked him for capital a business. He told me to give him some time to raise it. I waited for some time but that didn’t happen. When I reminded him he told me times were hard. I had an MTN mobile money merchant I was planning to work with. But because I didn’t have money to start the business, I gave him the SIM card to use.
I hoped he would invest in it, use it to work for a while, and help me set up something for myself. However, all he did was work and keep the money for himself. As I am typing this, my phone is spoilt. I asked him for a new phone and all he did was make excuses. “I will buy it for you at the end of the month.” Or “I will give it to you next week.” Or “When I get a bonus at work, I will use the money to buy a new phone for you.” This continued until I got tired and stopped asking him for it.
Can you believe he bought his mother a new phone when she paid us a visit? Meanwhile, my mother-in-law already had a working phone. She didn’t need a new one.
Our marriage is seventeen months old. And ever since we got money, he gives me pocket money of GHC150 for a week and at the beginning of every month, he would give me GHC300 to buy food stuffs that would last the entire month. Tell me, in this Ghanaian economy can GHC300 cater for one month’s worth of food for a household?
When I ask him to increase the money he would tell me that’s the best he can do. So I end up adding GHC200 or GHC300 to the monthly money in order to cater for food. I tell him, “If you help me to establish a business, I will have enough money to take care of the home whenever you are unable to. This business is not going to benefit only me. It will be good for our family.” And he responds, “You know if I have the money, I will help you.”
The truth of the matter is that I know he has the money to help me. He works in an institution that pays him well. Besides, he makes good money from the Mobile Money Merchant Sim I gave him. I don’t know how much money he wants to make before he acknowledges that he has money.
I would have done everything without his help but my money is with people. I credited some items to people in the past and some of them are yet to pay me. If I had those monies in hand, I wouldn’t need his help to start a business. But I don’t have it so I am completely broke.
I am currently in debts because of my financial situation. Just the other day someone called me to ask for her money. I didn’t know what to tell the person so I just apologized for the delay. “Please be patient with me. I will pay as soon as possible,” I promised. My husband was sitting right next to me when I made this call. But he pretended as if he didn’t hear anything I said.
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I know some men who would settle their wives’ debts, but not my husband. He didn’t even ask me, “How much are you owing the person?” Or “How come you owe someone?” He couldn’t be bothered to say anything at all. It is at this point that I am reevaluating my marriage. I am beginning to feel strongly that my husband doesn’t love me. Maybe he never did.
This Is The Most Challenging Moment In Our Marriage | Silent Beads
I know that if a man loves a woman, he does his best to make life easier for her. So why am I married to a man who doesn’t give a hoot about my well-being. The only thing that concerns him is my body. You would think he married me just so he can have someone who will always bend when he needs her to bend. Squat when he needs her to squat. And lie down when he needs her to lie down. That’s all he wants; shuperu whenever he needs it.
He is always rude to me. He is only nice when he is inside me. What can I do to make him care about me beyond what I offer him in the bedroom? I want him to treat me with respect and care like he did, before I agreed to marry him. I want to feel like a wife, not just an object for my husband’s pleasure. If I knew this is how he would behave after marriage, I would have given the whole thing a second thought.
#ThingsIWishIKnewBeforeGettingMarried
—Matan Ali
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#SB
Hmm mm I understand your plight, the only difference I and I share here is I have a business which hasn’t been doing well for past 7months now. My husband gives 150gh for weekly housekeeping money for 3 people, there’s no food stuffs at home and it’s from that same money I pay for water and other little things we use in the house. I complained and the only answer he keep saying is he gives what he have and he doesn’t work at world bank. I end up using my business money for upkeep. In this hard economy, what can 150gh do for a house hold. Yet he gives his sisters who are even married and with their husbands saying he’s the eldest and his responsibility to take care of his siblings.
So sorry dear , keep on praying and talking to him. Or better Still talk to his mom about it
I always tell women have your own source of income before you get married oh
Let us analyze this post.
1. The man gives 900 on average for the household every month.
2, this needs to be higher for three people. Prices of goods are high in Ghana, especially in the cities
3. the woman can only add 200, which is less than 1/4 of what the man gives
4. the woman is still the one complaining about more money from the man
5. The woman can tell why she doesn’t have money. She gave her money to others, in her own words, and she is okay with that as an excuse. She cannot collect her own money from the debtors.
5. The man, too, provides for his family, but that angers the woman because the man’s sister does not deserve help from their brother.
6. the man has no reason to say he has no money, but a woman can always tell she has no money
7. the 900 the man spends doesn’t include utilities and his transport. And even his lunch at work if he decides to buy one. If he drives, let’s consider car repairs and fuel as all
8. If the economy is terrible, it does not exclude men. Everyone faces the same hardships. Women only factor their needs into hardship, leaving the man as a wood who has no other financial resonsibilities apart from her and the children.
9. She didn’t state how much the man earns or how much she needs for capital. Starting a business is not a joke. It’s not like she just wants to buy and sell charcoal.
10. No wonder men die so early from frustration. To all the struggling men, please always remember to care for yourself. That woman will move on within a week when you die.
11. I helped my brother’s wife with more than 10k to set a business when she came complaining the same way this woman is doing (She said she needed to start a business because her household was struggling). I spoke to the husband to convince him of setting up a business and my brother added 15k. 12. Today, the so-called business is running in a debt. if the man doesn’t provide money, the store cannot restock itself .
Women can find ways to always blame men. It is up to you to stand on your grounds. cheers to us