He gave a hint at the beginning of the relationship but I didn’t take him seriously. We both laughed it off and pretended he never said such a thing. We were talking about fantasies. He asked me, “What haven’t you done in a relationship and wish to do with me?” I thought about the question for several minutes but the answer wouldn’t come so I told him, “I haven’t thought about it. Give me some time to think about it. I’ll tell you when I find the answer.” He nodded but then I realized he was eager to answer the question himself so I asked him the same question.

He told me, “It’s quite crazy but I hope one day it happens. Whoever gives me the chance to experience that in my life would be my favourite person for life. I’ll give her all my trust and never doubt her in anything. If she loves me that much to give me the chance to experience such a thing with her the “she’s a great person.” He spoke at length but never mentioned what it was. I was eager to know. I loved him and felt I could give him whatever he asked for so I could keep him forever. “Andy, tell me. What is it that you’re talking about it? You said it’s quite crazy but you’ve not named it.” He got closer to me and whispered it into my ears as if there were invisible persons between us that he didn’t want them to hear. 

He whispered, “Two of us plus another woman. Do you know what I mean? That makes it three. Two women and me in the middle, doing them both at the same time.” 

I screamed, “Aaaah!!” He answered, “I told you. I told you it’s quite crazy.” 

We laughed it off and kept going, loving each other as if that was all we could do. Whenever I needed something, he provided it without a sweat. I was jobless and looking for a place that needed my service. He was working and also working to help me get a job. He was way older than me. Seven or so years older than me so I felt he had seen it all in life and I loved that I could learn from him. I loved to have a man I could learn from. A man who would hold my hand and take me through life teaching me what I should do and what I should not do. I found that in Andy because he was older and smarter. 

As the relationship progressed, I also realized that he could be manipulative when he wanted his way. I could say no and he would tell me, “If you love me that much you will do it. My ex did it for me. She loved me that much. If my ex could do it, then you could do it if you love me that much.” He got me to do a lot of crazy things using that line. When I refused, he got angry and did not talk to me for days until I would call and tell him, “Fine. If you say so.” 

On my twenty-third birthday, he asked me what I wanted and I told him, “Whatever you give me would be appreciated, especially when I know that it’s coming from your heart.” He said, “Name something. Something you’ve dreamt of often but don’t have.” I said, “That would be an iPhone.” He responded, “OK. Let’s see how it goes.” 

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t even think about it for a day that Andy would get me an iPhone but on my birthday he gave me a wrapped gift. I opened it and it was an iPhone. I jumped and threw myself on him, hanging around his neck. I kissed him. I said thank you. I said a lot of sweet things. I concluded that he was the best thing that ever happened to me. He told me, “I’ll do everything for you, knowing you love me this much.”

On his 31st birthday, though I didn’t have the money, I put together something to give him as a gift. I asked what he wanted and he told me, “You don’t need to buy me anything. You only have to make the day memorable for me.” “Memorable? How? What can I do to make it memorable?” He answered, “You remember what I told you at the beginning of our relationship? My fantasy, you remember? That’s all I want for a birthday.” 

The first question that came to mind was, “Where am I going to get another girl who will agree to do that? Is there a place they sell those women?” He didn’t answer. He looked at me mischievously. “Would you do it if I find the girl?” He asked. I answered, “Who? Where? And why would she agree to do that?”

We dropped the conversation but that wasn’t the end of it. He talked about it every day even when he didn’t have the need to talk about it. He kept asking me to say yes and he would find the girl. I said no. I told him I wasn’t going to do that because I wouldn’t know how to handle myself in that situation. He kept telling me I would be fine. He was so sure about it that I asked him, “You sound like you’ve done it before. Have you? What don’t I know about you?” 

He got angry. He didn’t speak to me for days when I called he picked up but didn’t say anything. I would talk and talk but he wouldn’t say a word. A few days before his birthday, I called to tell him, “If that’s all you want, then I’m ready.” He asked, “Are you sure? Or you’re just tricking me.” I told him I was ready so he should bring the girl on his birthday and he did. 

The girl looked nothing like me. She was fair, I’m dark. She’s plump with a lot of back assets but I’m slim. I won’t call what’s behind me a lot. All her features were contrasting with mine but I said nothing. I don’t know how to drink but to make things easier, I took part in their drinking spree. From there, everything became blurred. I saw myself doing something but it wasn’t clear what I was doing. I remember the two of them telling me what to do and I remember doing it gleefully. 

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Honestly, I didn’t know what happened until I was awakened in the morning by a moaning sound. I opened my eyes and saw them doing it again right next to me. He asked me to join and I told him I had a headache. I wasn’t lying. My head was aching badly so I rushed to the toilet and started vomiting. I thought he would come around and take care of me but he never came. They kept doing it until I no longer heard them moaning. I went in and saw them knackered and panting on the bed. I dressed up and told him I was leaving but I don’t think he heard me. I got home and started crying. I asked myself what I had done while my conscience was beating me. That headache could have been my conscience nagging at me.

I decided that day that I wasn’t going back to the relationship again. I wanted a man like him, a man I could learn from because he was older. I never for once thought I would learn to share my man with a total stranger. I kept asking who that girl was and how he got her. Why were they still at it when I was sleeping? They didn’t look like people who didn’t know each other. They looked more compatible than I was with him. I felt cheated. I felt maltreated. I didn’t want to go back to a place where I was manipulated to do evil. When he called I told him it was over.  He laughed. He said, “How can it be over? We just had the best night of our lives.” I responded, “You had the best time of your life but not me. Who was that girl? Where did you get her from? What did you tell her before she agreed to join the party?”

He brushed my questions aside as if they were nothing. Again, he wanted to bully me into submission but I was far gone. He tried to be angry because I was asking too many questions. He didn’t call for days and it didn’t bother me. I didn’t even realize he wasn’t calling. A week or so later, he came accusing me of ignoring him. I told him, “I’m ignoring you because it’s over and I mean it. You think I will come back? No, I’m not doing it again.” 

He saw the resolve in my stance and realized I was serious. He started apologizing. He told me it wasn’t going to happen again. I said, “Yes it won’t happen again because you don’t have me. It’s over Andy. I’m not joking.” It’s been months but he still keeps coming, telling me he can’t live without me. He had come with friends to say sorry. His senior brother has called me asking me to forgive though he doesn’t know what happened. I told Andy, “If you dare bring any person again to beg, I’ll tell them what happened.” 

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He has stopped coming with people but he hasn’t stopped begging. I don’t want to give him a second chance because I don’t want to settle with a man who’ll always remind me of that night. I want to forget it. I feel it’s the lowest point of my life. No one wants to walk around carrying the memories of her lowest point in life but Andy keeps coming while I keep pushing away. I won’t give him another chance because I’m no longer that girl he manipulated to do everything for him. 

–Sophie

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