I was sitting in a trotro heading to work one morning when it all began. Like any other work morning, I was on my phone surfing the internet for current events and funny things to laugh about. Then I heard an uncomfortable sound beside me. It was the sound of muffled sobs. Maybe if I had kept looking at my phone without turning to look at whoever was crying, everything would have ended just there.

It just happens that I couldn’t help myself. I am an empath. When I see someone in trouble, all I want to do is help. So I did not mind my business that morning. I turned to look and found a young woman crying beside me. She was a complete mess.

I asked her, “Why are you crying?” “I found out I am pregnant,” she blurted out. The fact that she was willing to share that personal information with me gave me the impression that she was going through a lot. I asked her more questions and she opened up with more information. It wasn’t the pregnancy that made her sad. It was her boyfriend’s reaction. 

The guy had asked her to terminate the pregnancy but she wanted to keep it so he left her. I was moved by her plight. I felt she needed a friend. So before she alighted, I took her number. My intention was to check up on her and make sure she was okay. 

I checked up on her often. I would ask if she had eaten. I would ask about her antenatal care. I did all that in the capacity of a friend. I had no romantic interest in her. I never gave her the impression that I did either. I just felt she needed a support system in a situation where she didn’t have any. 

There was a time I even took her to my place and told her, “In case you feel like you don’t want to be alone, you are welcome to visit me.” She nodded sweetly and said okay. As our friendship progressed, I noticed that her mental health was really bad. Sometimes she wouldn’t even eat. I would have to talk and persuade her before she would agree to eat. 

There was even a time when I had to go to her place to send her dinner because she refused to eat. I didn’t think it was okay for a pregnant woman not to eat. It was my little way of being her friend, you know.

Two months along the line, Lucy told me she had a miscarriage. It wrecked her so badly that she became suicidal. At that point, I became more concerned about her. I called her more often than I did to make sure she was okay. I offered her comfort when she was down, and counsel when she spoke about hurting herself.

Before I knew what was happening, this lady said she was in love with me. I thought she was joking but no. I couldn’t believe that someone in her mental state had the heart to fall in love. I also felt I was put in a difficult situation because she was not someone I fancied. Everything I was doing for her was things I would do for anyone. It wasn’t because I saw her as a potential love interest. Even her mental state alone made her off-limits in my books. 

While my feelings for her were purely platonic, she proposed love to me. As much as I did not want to hurt her feelings, I also could not pretend to be in love with her. I let her down gently. “I know you are going through a lot right now but I only see you as a friend. Besides, I am not in a place where I want to be in a relationship. So let’s just be friends.” Something this simple became too much for Lucy to accept. 

She started calling me incessantly. When I saw how messy things were getting, I started withdrawing from her. I ignored her calls hoping she would get the message but she was relentless. I could be busy working on something. By the time I was done, I would see about forty missed calls on my phone. All from her. 

I thought the worst that could happen was being bombarded with calls but once again I was wrong. I never told her where I worked but one day she showed up at my workplace. I remember when I saw her, my jaw dropped as the realization dawned on me that I was being stalked. 

How did she find my workplace? She went to my Facebook profile and got that information. Then she used Google Maps to locate the place. That day when she showed up she was in tears. She told whoever she met at the front desk that I was ignoring her calls among other things. It wasn’t easy but I managed to get her to leave. 

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only time she showed up. One time my boss saw her and asked me, “What did you do to this lady that she won’t leave you alone?” I didn’t intend to but I ended up explaining my entire history with Lucy to her. “I was trying to be her friend but now I am being stalked,” I told her. 

After listening to me,  my boss sat Lucy down and asked her, “What’s your problem with my brother? He is a boss here so why do you come to his workplace and tell his business to the subordinates? When you do that you will make him look a certain way in their eyes.” Lucy explained that she didn’t have a problem with me. “He seems to be the one who has a problem with me. And that’s what I want to resolve,” she answered.

She went on to talk about the fact that I was her friend and had been there for her through her low moments. “Things were going well but all of a sudden he started to ignore my calls. Me too I have come to depend on him for emotional support. He is all I have. I don’t know what I will do without him,” she concluded. In the end, my boss advised her that she keep her issues away from the workplace. I don’t know why I thought it was over after she left.

That very day, I received a call from Lucy’s neighbour. The lady told me, “Mr. Jay, Lucy is not herself. She is talking about doing something to herself and she is mentioning your name. Please come quickly before the worst happens.” I was scared. I worried she would indeed hurt herself and I would feel responsible for it. I had yet to leave work when the call came but I sought permission from work and rushed to her place.

Truly, when I got to her place she had bought a packet of blades. She said her life was spiraling out of control and she didn’t know what to do. She was thirty-one at the time all this was happening. I remember telling her everything would be fine as long as she didn’t give up. We talked for a while until she seemed to have calmed down.

The moment I got up to leave, she got hysterical again. She asked me not to leave her alone. “I don’t know if I will make it to the next morning if you leave. Please spend the night with me.” I told her I had to work the next day but she did not care. Once again I was worried. I was the last person to be with her so if I left and she did something to herself, I could be blamed. This thought was what finally got me to agree to spend the night. Big mistake.

She didn’t agree for us to just sleep. She wanted more. She wanted sex. I refused to do it and she started crying again. When I didn’t budge, she took one of the blades and threatened to cut herself. I wasn’t attracted to her in any way. And her behaviour that night was a turn-off. However, once again I was afraid I would get into trouble if she went ahead to do what she said she would do.

I couldn’t even get hard but I had to put my mind to it and physically force myself to get in the mood and do it. I didn’t go there with any intent so I didn’t have protection. She also didn’t have one but we did it anyway. I only made sure to withdraw.

My feelings for her didn’t change after everything that happened. If anything, I felt trapped. The entire time I was there I couldn’t breathe properly. All I wanted was for the night to be over so I would return home in peace.

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After that night, I had to resort to drastic measures to shake her off. I moved from my place to my boss’ house. Fortunately, her husband was understanding and agreed to host me. For two months, I lived with them. In that period, Lucy came to my workplace on a few occasions. Luckily, they turned her away every time with the phrase, “Mr. Jay is not around today.”

Eventually, she left me alone and I was able to resume my life. All of this drama happened three years ago. I forgot about her existence until recently. I posted a video of myself online. I was going through the comments when I saw her name. Right under the video, she left the comment, “You this guy, one day you will pay for everything you put me through.” I was confused. What did I put her through?

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I have decided not to engage her because I don’t want to reopen that can of worms. Still, I am confused she is playing the victim after all the ways she tormented me. All I wanted to do was help a stranger but she became a yoke around my neck. I finally got away from her only to find out that after three years she is still acting as if she was my girlfriend and I broke her heart.

This is why I have finally come out to share this story. I want to know if I wronged her in this situation. Or if indeed it is me who has been wronged. Why is a grown woman acting like a teenager who is obsessed with a boy she is crushing on? Nothing she has done to this point makes sense to me.

— Jay

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