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Well, we couldn’t come to an agreement on a favorable amount he should give me for compensation so I continued to stay with him. It isn’t that I didn’t want to leave. I just couldn’t afford to pay rent on my own. While I lived with him he continued to give me the cold shoulder. I was still hurt and confused about the whole thing until the truth came out. His womanizing ways finally yielded him fruits. He got another woman pregnant. That was why he wanted me out.
He wanted a child and I couldn’t give him one. So he went out and got someone pregnant, thinking he would replace me with her. As if I was a disposable cup, to be discarded when I have outlived my use. Well, while we were each planning our next move, we found out that the pregnancy wasn’t even his. He was so desperate to have a child that the lady got pregnant by someone else and pinned it on him.
At that time I was so done with his drama. I planned to move in with a friend until I found my feet. But he brought some people I respect a lot to help him apologize to me. “I don’t know why I thought I could live my life without you. Whatever devil possessed me is gone. And now I know I messed up. Give me one last chance to make things right,” he pleaded. I was moved by his remorse. I told myself, “I have already stayed for eight years. What’s one more chance?” So I aborted all my plans to leave. I chose to stay with him instead.
While all that was going on, he was broke. I was constantly on my knees praying for the tides to change in his favor. I introduced him to Alpha Hour and we started praying together. By and by, things started picking up for him. He started making more money than he was doing. I was happy for him. Especially when he got a lot of money. “I want to buy a car. What do you think?” He asked me one day. I thought about it for a moment and told him, “We live in a single-room self-contained apartment. Why not invest the money into property instead? You could buy land.”
I further explained to him that while the car is convenient, if he starts a building it would be a better investment. He was excited about my suggestions. “My family has a piece of land,” he announced, “I can start building on it.” The rest of the conversation was about how to execute our plans. It didn’t take long for him to finish the project. A chamber and hall self-contained house.
Although he was giving me updates about the building, he never took me to the site. Whenever I tell him, “The next time you go to the site I want to follow you,” he would stare at me and say nothing. When I attempted to follow him he gave me excuses. He would buy building materials and ask me to carry them home for him. I would take them home but he wouldn’t let me go beyond that and accompany him when he was taking them to the building site.
Even when he finished the building, he didn’t take me to go and see it. I asked him about it but he said, “Patience, my dear. I will surprise you with a tour when you least expect it.” He was doing everything right by then so I didn’t question him too much. I continued to live with him and played the part of the dutiful girlfriend. When he got sick I nursed him back to health.
On one fateful day in May 2023, he asked me to prepare porridge for him. I did. By the time he was done eating, I was dressed for work. It was a Monday morning so I was in a hurry to leave home. Yet this guy said he wanted to have intimacy before I would leave home. I didn’t turn him down. I gave it to him and then went to work.
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When I returned, I was welcomed by an empty room. Our room was empty. He packed everything from the room and left without a word. Our rent was going to expire in three months’ time, he knew this yet he still left me all alone. I feel foolish for ever thinking he was a changed man. I have been depressed, and crying ever since that day.
He doesn’t pick up my calls to even tell me what I did to deserve to be treated this way. Someone told me he is not even living in the building he put up. I hear he rented an apartment in the neighbourhood where I grew up. And he is going around telling people that I am a barren disrespectful woman. That’s why he left me. He is now dating a girl from my childhood neighbourhood. He flaunts her so that my family and friends can see that he is no longer with me.
It Will Be Difficult For Me To Commit To One Person
All I want is for this guy to stop giving me a bad name that I don’t respect, or that I am barren. My reproductive health is not something he should use as an insult. Yes, it’s true that I have never gotten pregnant but I have done what I have to do medically to know I am fit for childbirth when the time is right. I am only twenty-nine so I don’t understand why he is shaming me for not being a mother. I would wake up and hear all sorts of stories from my friends. “Your ex said you’ve done this.” “He said you did that.” When I couldn’t bear it anymore, I blocked all of them.
I am back here to say that I didn’t learn my lesson the first time and he proceeded to do worse. So now I have really learned. I wish I hadn’t stayed when he brought people to apologize. But it’s all good. Lesson learned. Life moves on. When I get money, I will move out of the room we used to share. The memories here are killing me.
—Irene
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This is beyond my comprehension. Take it that you were not dealing with a human being and move on. I think that’s the best way to deal with it. You were living with something that looked human, but indeed wasn’t. Some people look human, but they are animals. That should help.
When you offer yourself cheaply, that is what happens.
You think our elders were f**lish to say until your bride price is paid, no wifey duties?
There couldn’t have been a divorce with alimony
This level of wickedness is beyond my comprehension. Take it that you were not dealing with a human being and move on. I think that’s the best way to deal with it. You were living with something that looked human, but indeed wasn’t. Some people look human, but they are animals. That should help.
hey irene.. come for a hug, just now this too shall pass.grieve all you can dont remain in the dust… LEAVE YOUR MATTER FOR HE IS A FAITHFUL JUDGE…XOXO
8years wasted… that’s my problem now. But im not happy with you for seeing all the redflags and yet opted to stay. He kept cheating and you kept forgiving him and he kept taking you for granted. I’m sorry for all you’ve gone through. I pray you meet a better man in the future. But for him, KARMA awaits him. He’s going to reap everything he’s sown.
I keep shouting eiii…hmm,this world is unfair oo,someone who got abandoned by both parents and this happens to her again ,hmm…..Irene is well ok….I’m even short of words….eiiii
You make mistakes by ignoring all the red flags but all hopes not lost, keep yourself busy at work and things that makes you happy.
You really sincerely need therapy and strong intervention because you not only don’t love yourself, you willingly put yourself into the hands of the devil for many years!
If he hadn’t left you would still be spread eagled on the ground for him to trod on as he likes.
God loves you! You too are precious, fearfully and wonderfully made. Please believe this 🙏😢