The first time I entered the mart, she was the face that drew my attention. There were three attendants there, all of them were ladies but she stood out. The first lady came to me, picked a basket and started following me around. It was a small mart so I didn’t think she had to follow me around. I took the basket from her and thanked her while going around the shop picking things and dropping them in my basket. Every now and then I will look at the counter and steal a glance at the lady in the middle. She was quiet and well-composed. The other two ladies were busily engaged in a discussion but she sat there like a pretty queen, tracking my movement with her eyes. When I got to the counter, she was the one who attended to me. 

She’ll pick an item, scan it and input the amount into the computer. I was looking at her fingers, her face, her lips, her disposition. Everything about her screamed, “Please love me.”  My heart fell for her even before my head could reason. I made it a point to go there often because of her. She didn’t talk often. Even when I greeted them, the two ladies would respond but she wouldn’t even squirm. It broke my heart but I consoled myself that it was just the beginning. 

One day I met her alone at the counter. I asked her name and she looked at my face. She smiled and said, “My name is Gina.” I said, “Gina, you look like a very nice person. Very decent. You hardly talk to me anytime I come around here but I’m yearning to be your friend.”

Again, she looked at me and smiled while scanning my items and inputting the figures on her computer. Before I could make any meaningful impact, her boss came around. I wanted to ask for her number. I tried to delay and see if her boss would leave for me to take her number. He didn’t leave. He instead took a seat next to her to indicate that he had come to stay. I told myself, “It’s not the end of the world. I’ll come back again.” 

The next time I was there she wrote her number on a piece of paper and added it to my change and handed them to me. I smiled and said, “Expect my call any moment from now.” She answered, “We don’t bring phones to the counter so you can call me in the evening.” 

I don’t know what happened to the piece of paper she gave me. It might have fallen off while putting it in my pocket or I added it to my paper garbage and threw it away. In the evening when I wanted to call her, I looked everywhere for the piece of paper and didn’t see it. The following day I travelled. I spent over two weeks there and came back. My first stop was at the mart.

Immediately she saw my face she frowned. The other ladies were there so I couldn’t say much. I didn’t need anything from the shop but I was forced to pick something so I can get to the counter and talk to her. She treated my items as if she didn’t know me. Straight face, straight answers. I apologized to her; “I’m sorry. It wasn’t intentional. The paper got missing.” She didn’t say a word. She pushed my shopping items to me and sat down. The other ladies were watching this time but I didn’t care. I wanted to put my point across by all means. I was explaining myself while she sat there watching around the shop. I asked for the number again and she responded, “It’s not important to you that’s why you threw it away. I won’t write it again.”

She didn’t. I begged. She shook her head. I told her I’ll call immediately this time. She told me there was not going to be this time. It took me three separate attempts for me to get her to give me the number again. That very day, I called right in front of her but her phone didn’t ring. She told me it was in her boss’s office and that, she would return my call when she closes. In the evening I called her and she was on her way going home. We talked until she got home. I apologized for misplacing her contacts. She said I was lucky that she changed her mind. “Maybe you cast a spell on me. On a normal day, I wouldn’t have given my number to you again.”

A few days later, I met her on the way after closing from work. I walked her home. She was happy. She laughed at my stale jokes and said she was happy I didn’t give up on her. That was a clue that she liked my presence so I capitalized on it and made a subtle proposal; “When you love someone, you don’t give up on her.” She giggled. We got to her house and she asked me to come in. That was the first time she was inviting me to her room. Immediately I sat down, I proposed. She was very receptive and straightforward, “I like you too but give me some time to think about it. I want to be sure if what I feel for you is real.” 

I understood her. We had a normal conversation and I left when it was getting late. We were talking every day but she didn’t give me any response. I picked from her countenance that she has accepted but was finding it hard to say yes. So one day, I kissed her and she kissed back. When we separated I asked her, “So who are we now?” She answered, “You should know. I don’t have to tell you everything.” I said, “That means you’re my girlfriend, right?” She nodded her head while looking away. “Afa!” I screamed in my head.

Days later, I was on TikTok scrolling through my timeline when Gina appeared out of nowhere. TikTok calls it ‘From Your Contact.’ You see people you share contacts with but don’t follow them. I was like, “Gina is on TikTok? What’s she doing here?” The video I saw was her miming a song. I wanted to see more so I tapped on her name and went straight to her page. Every single video there was about fooling. She would jump on every silly trend just to fool. 

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I was like, “Ah, but I thought Gina was a quiet girl. What’s happening here?” You see those voices that dish big insults to other people? Yeah, she was miming those voices. She doesn’t know how to dance but she’ll make a silly dance and laugh at herself. In one video, she was doing an eating competition. Come and see how this girl ate the food. I shook my head and said, “No I can’t do it anymore. This love thing, I can’t continue.” I touched my heart and there was nothing in there for her.

It would have made a little bit of sense if she had the numbers. Two likes, hundred views, zero comments. None of her videos had a thousand views. Her most current video was yesterday. It was embarrassing for me to see her like that. In my book of judgement, Gina was exclusive. She kept to herself and wouldn’t engage in anything silly. I placed her in a class where shy and reserved women were but after seeing those videos, I felt like I’d been lied to. I felt cheated actually. 

We had a conversation in the evening and I said something like, “I saw you on TikTok today…” She won’t even allow me to land. She shouted excitedly, “Oh TikTok? That place diɛ fooling nkoaa ooo. I just uploaded a new one. Go and watch it. And please like it and follow me after watching ooo.”

I was thinking. The way she was excited about it made me feel like it was an area I couldn’t touch. I watched the new one. It was a lip sync talking about wives who go to the toilet at dawn but don’t wash their nyash. “You’re sleeping with your husband but will go to the toilet at dawn and not wash your nyash?” I couldn’t even watch the full video. I felt embarrassed watching her mannerisms and how she was acting as if she was the one the voice belongs to. I said to myself, “No, not me. I can’t.” 

I’ve left her. 

The relationship didn’t go beyond a week after seeing her TikTok videos. How can a classy girl like her be on TikTok talking nonsense? I couldn’t stand it. I left her. Luckily for me, we hadn’t made love yet so she couldn’t use that classical line; “You’ve gotten what you came for so you’re using silly excuses just to jilt me.” No, she couldn’t say that. All she said was, “I knew you were playing with my emotions. If someone sent you to come and test me, you and that person should go to hell. I thought I’d given my heart to a human being not knowing you’re something that looks like a human being.”

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As for insults diɛ, she gave them to me paaa but there was no reason for me to pretend. She has dreams of making it big on TikTok though she has only 122 followers after posting over a hundred videos. I’m not the one to kill her dreams for her. You either love the girl and love her dreams or you let both of them go. I chose the latter and I feel both of us won in the end. She still does her videos. Every now and then I come across her post and I skip it. I want to block her but if I do, how would I know when she finally becomes a TikTok star? 

–Nanaba

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