I was in the same junior high school with Amanda. We both went to the same senior high school. At the university, we were both in the same hall and took some courses together. Through all the stages of life I’ve been through, she had been by my side. We didn’t pick berries together while young, she would have been my huckleberry friend.

After university, Amanda took over the management of her parents’ companies. She had been a rich girl right from the start but taking over the management of her parents’ companies made her powerful and rich. It turned out, being rich and powerful doesn’t necessarily bring good men into your life. I was with her when she had her first heartbreak. She talked about it for days. It broke her into pieces. She cried for several days. 

Getting to the end of our university days, she found herself another boyfriend. He was everything Amanda looked for in a man; calm, handsome, all over her like she was the center of her world. That too didn’t last. I wasn’t there when it happened but when the hard time came, she called me; “Ama, what did I do wrong to deserve all these heartbreaks? All I’ve ever been is a girl who loves with all I have but they all get away in the end.”

I consoled her and encouraged her to stay strong for the cometh of her prince charming.

Life has a sneaky way of separating friends. You don’t fight and you don’t quarrel. One day, you stop calling each other and by the time you realize, you haven’t called each other for so many years. This happened to us too. She got busy and I got busier trying to stick my life together. We went apart for close to two years until one night she gave me a call…

“Ama, I need you to do something for me.”

“Talk to me, I can do anything for you.”

“There’s this guy in my life now. I love him but I don’t like the kind of vibe I feel about him.”

“So where do I come in?”

“I know it sounds stupid and girlish but for now, that’s the only thing I can think of.”

“Stupid and girlish? What could that be?”

“Ok listen to me. I feel he’s not so much into me. I feel he’s after my money. I want to use you as bait.”

I got where she was driving. I had my own reservations but you don’t say no to Amanda. Her heart wants what it wants so I asked her to lay down the plan. She said, “You’ll have to find a way to be his friend. Try seducing your way around him. Make yourself easy to like and let’s see if he would pick the bait.”

That wasn’t an easy thing to do for me but I decided to give it a shot. 

I sent him a friend’s request on Facebook and not too long afterward, he accepted it. I sent him a message, “That was quick. Thanks a lot for allowing me to be your friend. I’ve read some of your posts and you sound very deep. That’s the kind of things I love to read on my timeline.” He responded, “Awww, thanks for the feedback and I’m happy to have you here too.”

I asked him a series of questions and he answered. He asked me some series of questions too and I responded. Before I went offline, he asked, “How about getting your number so we can have some of these discussions offline.” I gave my number to him and some minutes later, he called. “Hey, this is Ato. I’m calling to see if you gave me the right number.” I laughed out loud and said, “How could I even think of doing that?”

Later that day, I called Amanda and gave her the progress report. She said, “You see how quick he asked for your number? He’s a cheat!” I told her, “Don’t draw conclusions just yet. He sounds like someone who enjoys intelligent conversations. I believe that’s the reason why he requested my number. Let’s see how it goes.” She responded, “He’ll fail, trust me. He doesn’t sound real to me.”

It was only good-morning-how-are-you kind of day at first. Some days he will call and ask how my day was. Some night he would call and wish me a beautiful night. Some morning, he will call and ask how my day would be. Nothing serious, just friendly conversations. All I did was to send Amanda the screenshots of our conversations. Sometimes, she also told me what to ask him. For about a month we didn’t get anything concrete to nail him. Amanda suggested we took it a notch up and we did.

He called one weekend and I asked him if he was available for an outing. He responded, “I’d been meaning to ask you but I didn’t want to sound pushy. Why not? Just pick a place and time and I would be there.”

That evening I was with him when Amanda called and asked where he was. He responded, “I’m out with friends but not too far from my house.” She asked who the friends were and he responded, “Oh some of my guy friends and their girlfriends. Just hanging out.”

When he put down the phone, I asked him, “Was that your girlfriend?” He responded, “Yeah, she’s the jealous kind that’s why I couldn’t tell her the truth. I’m sorry about that.” I smiled and said, “Oh nothing to be sorry about. I’m only surprised that you have a girlfriend. You haven’t told me about her so I figured you were single.” He gave a deep sigh and said, “I hardly talk about her because she’s on and off. Some days she’s all lovey-dovey but some days she switches off as if the world is falling on her.” 

“Do you love her that much?”

“Yeah I do but I’m not sure if she loves me that much.”

“So why don’t you sit her down and bear your heart out to her? Maybe she’s also not getting the right vibe about you. You know women.”

“Hmmm, I try my best but she’s insecure about something. Maybe she thinks I’m after her money.”

That night’s conversation changed my perception about the guy but I didn’t know where to place the problem. The two of them were confused about something, something they could sit down and thrash it out.

When I got home that night, I sent the voice recording of our conversation to Amanda. After listening to it she said, “Awww I’m touched. He’s a solid guy, too bad I’m destroying our relationship with my own insecurities. I get where the problem is now. He told you the truth. I’m the one being insecure and overly protective. I know what to do now. Kindly let’s abort the mission. There’s no need now.”

Mission was aborted. I was happy that I could help but most importantly I was happy for both of them. They are good people and deserved each other. I asked Amanda, “Should I be waiting for the wedding invitation soon?” She said, “Not too soon but trust me, it wouldn’t be too long.”

My job was done. I tried talking to Ato less and less. I intentionally missed his calls and left most of his messages on blue tick. I gave him excuses of being busy with work and relationship issues. I wanted him to back off without telling him but somehow he didn’t get the memo. He kept coming and I kept brushing him aside. 

I didn’t hear much from Amanda but I figured she was happy.

One morning, I saw Ato’s call on my phone. I picked it up. He sounded like someone who had something important to tell me so all through the conversation I kept asking, “Do you have something to tell me?” He responded, “You’re drifting away and I feel I have to tell you what’s on my mind before it’s too late. Since the day we met, I haven’t been able to get you off my mind. I think I’m in love with you. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you because of the girl in my life then. A couple of months ago, I ended that relationship. She wasn’t good for me. I think now is the time for me to tell you what I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

Wow!

That took me by surprise and for a moment, I stood quietly on the phone not knowing what to do or say. I told him, “Can I call you later? Don’t worry, when I call back, we’ll take it up from there.”

I called Amanda. Nothing in her voice suggested that she was going through a breakup or she had recently gone through one. I asked her, “How’s Ato? Are you two closer to the altar yet?” She laughed and said, “We are not close to the altar yet but we have been stronger than before. We had a very deep conversation where we both agreed on where we want to take the relationship to and since then, life has been rosy between us.”

Wow!

 When I hung up the call, I called Ato; “Listen to me, I only wanted to be your friend and it’s been worth it. I don’t want to have anything to do with you again. I’m happily committed to a beautiful man and have no intention of cheating so kindly leave me out of your thought and dreams. And don’t ever call me again. You don’t have a good mind.”

As if he didn’t hear me, he kept calling me morning, afternoon, and evening. He kept sending me messages upon messages professing his empty love for me. I kept warning him to stop but you know the impressions some men have; “When a woman says stop, it only means try harder”  so he kept trying harder. One late night, I saw my picture on his Whatsapp status with the caption; “If the love is true, you keep fighting for it until you get a yes.”

I sent him a message, “Boy, delete that before I descend on you. Do you think it’s funny? Do you think love is some comedy you pay to watch when you’re feeling bored? Grow up!” His response to me was some poetic lyrics. When a guy thinks he’s in love, he’ll say all the stupid things right.

I didn’t want to involve Amanda but at this stage, there was nothing I could do. I took screenshots of all the conversations, including the Whatsapp status, and sent them to her. She asked, “Are these old messages?” I told her, “Kindly check the date.”

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I didn’t hear from her again until late that night when she called, “You see my suspicions have been confirmed? I started seeing red flags after your encounter with him but I disregarded them because of your findings but here we are again. They are always nice and cunning but they are up to no good.”

Amanda walked away from the relationship that day. She left him stressed, broken, and angry. A few days later he sent me a message, “How much were you paid to destroy our beautiful relationship?” I read the message and avoided the temptation to respond. If something is beautiful in your eyes, you nurse it. You water it with optimal trust so it would bear fruits of love. You don’t disregard the things you love and still hope it will amount to anything else.

Amanda got married last year. I was there and was one of her bridesmaids. The day she sent me the wedding invite, I asked her jovially, “Who is this one you’re getting married to? Why didn’t you allow me to test him too? That’s so unfair.” We had a good laugh over it. She said, “After him, I didn’t waste time on guys who gave me bad vibes. If my instinct didn’t sit right with them, I let them go but this one was different right from the start. He didn’t have to prove anything. He allowed his actions to come through.”

—Ama Aidoo, Ghana 

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