We started dating when we were in the university. I was one year ahead of her so I expected to graduate, finish my national service, and get a job by the time she is also about to start her national service. Those were some of the plans we made. And I was sure that she is the one I will spend the rest of my life with. The way she treated me also made me believe she would never grow tired of me. “No matter what happens in life, we will stay together forever,” we promised each other.

As time passed, our love became as beautiful as roses. Day by day, it blossomed. We were happy. I literally felt like my head was in the clouds. Not many men start life with the girl of their dreams on their arms, you know. I often said to myself, “This girl loves me knowing well that I have nothing. So I will give her the world when I become somebody big.”

After I completed school, we continued to hold each other and stayed true to our dream of forever. We kept going until I completed my national service. That was when life shook us up. How many jobs didn’t I apply to? Who in my circle didn’t I talk to, to help me get a job? I tried so hard but nothing turned up. I was no longer a student so I didn’t get any financial support from my family.

Poverty hit me so hard that I began to worry about my future. Portia saw my struggles and endured them with me. She even reduced the things she usually demanded I do for her. Once again, I felt I had hit a jackpot and won myself a ride or die woman. That was until I called her late one night. To my surprise, she was on another call. I am the only one who usually called her around that time so I got worried. I called her twelve times straight but she didn’t answer even one of them.

I was so angry that I fell asleep. The next morning, she didn’t call me back. I was the one who had a problem with her behaviour so I called her and asked, “So didn’t you see my calls? Who were you talking to at that time of the night?” My girlfriend shouted at me, “What is your problem? Why are you being jealous for no reason?” I don’t like quarrels so I just let it go.

The next day the same thing happened again. She was talking to someone at the time she used to talk to me. When I asked her who it was, she got angry and accused me of being insecure. The day after that, she repeated the circle. It continued for days until one day I asked her the glaring question, “Have you met someone else? I am asking because everything you are doing gives the impression that you are either tired of me, or there’s another man in the picture.”

She didn’t lie. She told me point blank; “Ronny, this relationship is over. I have found another man and he is wonderful. We have even had shuperu already so there’s no going back.” After that statement, I couldn’t hear anything anymore. I don’t even know who hung up. I broke down completely. Had it not been for God, I would have taken my own life.

It broke me when I thought about all the times I built my world around her. We had a dream together. I was faithful and loyal to her but she replaced me like a dead light bulb. Oh, and she didn’t even have the decency to block me. I believe she wanted me to see the ways in which her new man was better than me, and I saw it all. She posted their entire relationship on her WhatsApp status. The guy took her to places I couldn’t even go if I was invited there freely.

His nice Benz AMG and those front seat snaps she did broke my heart soo bad. Nonetheless, I did not stay down forever. Something inside me moved when I saw the kind of life she wanted. I decided that I would work hard and make money so she’d come back to me. So I found a lot of online jobs and put my I.T. skills to work.

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It is true what they say that if you set out to achieve your dreams, the entire universe conspires to help you. Or as some say, “God helps those who help themselves.” That’s what happened in my case. I worked tirelessly around the clock, and within six months I struck gold. I could afford a car of my own. So I bought a car and posted it on my WhatsApp for her to see. Deep down, I was sure I never stopped loving her. I convinced myself that I wanted to get her back.

It was when she finally came to me that I realized I didn’t love her anymore. I was just holding on to the version of her I loved. She on the other hand, is more in love with this version of me. She calls and texts me every single day. It is beginning to get on my nerves.

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The other day she begged me, “I know I am the one who walked away but I regret that decision. I have seen the errors of my ways, and I promise never to do it again if you give me another chance.” She then reminded me of the promise we made to each other when we were in school. The promise that we would stay together forever, no matter what happens.

I am annoyed that she used our promise this time around when she was the one who broke it. I was planning to ignore her but now I want to do something to hurt her back. I want to avenge my heart for all the ways she stomped on it. But there’s a voice in my head telling me to take the high road and just cut her off. So I need your advice. Should I make her pay? Or should I be the bigger person?

—Ronny  

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