Hello Kojo,
I’m writing this letter to you because I’m a happy person now. I know you’ll not be here to read but it gives me peace of mind to give expression to how I feel at this very moment.
I had just come out of a deceitful relationship when I met you. The guy was married but told me he was single. As to why he did that I don’t understand. He said I was too beautiful he couldn’t just let me go. Finally, when he couldn’t hide the truth from me, maybe for fear I was going to find out one day, he decided to spill it out. I was broken when he told me he was married but he assured me he still loved me and wanted to keep me. Well, I am a girl walking around with a “No married man” policy hanging around my head so I ended that deceitful relationship.
On that fateful day in 2012 when I met you, I was going to start work as an intern with a roofing sheet company closer to where you lived. Unfortunately for me, I misunderstood the instructions of my boss who said I should go to the head office for training before I start work at the branch office. So at the bus stop where I stood trying to find my way to the head office, you overhead a conversation between me and a lady who was standing by me and that was where you decided to offer me help.
You took a cab and asked me to join you, so I joined you to your workplace. Upon arrival, I asked to print my CV and you gladly took me to your office for it to be printed for me. As if that wasn’t enough, you took me to the bus stop where I could find the appropriate bus to my destination. You even gave me money for transportation. When though I refused to accept the offer, you insisted and pushed it in my bag when the bus came. In fact, I was happy and relieved that day because you went all out to help me just when I needed it. I couldn’t stop thanking you over the phone when I called to tell you I’d arrived at the head office safely. You were happy for me too.
I had my 1-week training at the head office and soon returned to the branch office to start my work. You live just close by so that meant I was going to see you often. Knowing I was going to start work in your area gave you great excitement and you looked forward to seeing me every day.
During our first meeting, we had so much to talk about and laughed about so many things as well. But when you started telling me about your relationship issues I began to feel sorry for you and I wondered why a good man like you should have such a bad relationship. You told me you just had a baby with your girlfriend but then she and her family were treating you with so much disrespect. According to you, the continuous disrespect from your girlfriend’s family discouraged you from continuing the relationship with her.
I became the shoulder on which you cried and I was there to listen to your problems. Soon after your so-called recovery from the troubles with her, we started dating. You made me believe everything was over between you two and that made it easier to let myself go. We became sweethearts and started our love journey.
You were such a sweet person and I always thanked God for bringing you into my life.
I completed my internship with the roofing sheet company and went back to school. You came to visit me almost every weekend and took me out to places. At my graduation, you were there to celebrate with me and everything about you seemed so right. I looked at you and saw a perfect gentleman so I could do nothing but love you more and more every day. I was always there for you. I was there when your fights and quarrels got intense with your baby mama. I encouraged you not to fight her back even if she provoked. I told you all that because of the child you two have.
And then I started receiving calls from your baby Mama. She didn’t call to fight me but to warn me about you. She said, “You don’t know him as I do. He’s a womanizer. He’ll make things appear perfect in your eyes so you fall deeply for him but in the end, he’ll show you his true colours.” I ignored her and thought that perhaps, she wanted her way back into your life to save the relationship that failed. I just took a pause from writing this, looked into the sky and told myself, “I should have listened to that girl. She spoke the truth but I misinterpreted her truth to be a result of bitterness.
I was posted to the Volta region for my national service and you came on several occasions to visit me. Our love grew stronger and stronger and everyone knew about us, both family and friends. You always seized the opportunity to introduce me to your friends and family and you never forget to mention me as the guardian angel in your life. You never stopped thanking me for coming into your life and how I was the reason you have experienced true love.
Then I started having trouble with your family, especially your mum. For no reason, she hated the sight of me and just couldn’t stand my presence. I could swear on my life that I had never in my life disrespected her and you knew that so well. You asked me to ignore her.
Deep down within me, I wasn’t comfortable with her attitude. I got uneasy anytime I was coming around to see you. Her dislike for me got so intense that whenever she sat in the hall and saw me coming she got up and went to her room. I remember the several confrontations you had with her because of me. Sometimes she became nice. Oftentimes she went back to her normal bitter self. I thought buying her gifts and helping with the house chores will give me a spot in her heart but I was wrong and you kept assuring me that it was about you not her so I should ignore her.
She wanted you to marry your baby mama because you have a child with her and she felt I was the reason you didn’t want to marry her. We started having troubles of our own and those troubles were mostly centred around your baby mama. On my blind side, you were still having an affair with her. No wonder your mom never liked me. When all the red flags started showing, I ignored them because in my mind I had come too far to let you go. You took advantage of the mad love I had for you and kept cheating not only with your baby mama but with other women.
Do you remember how I had to stop my investment in the bank and give you the money for your daughter’s tonsillitis? Yes, I did all that because of love. Even when you lost your job we were depending on my small salary until you got a new job. The fights I had with my brothers were because of you. They felt you were of no good to me but I was blinded by your love so I didn’t listen to them. You promised me you were going to prove them wrong and I believed you.
In 2016, your secret sins came to bare when you finally got your baby mama pregnant with the second child.
I almost got mad when I heard of it. You told me all sorts of lies. I cried for days because I felt betrayed. That was the point I should have left but after you sent friends and family to apologize on your behalf my stupid heart forgave you and gave you a second chance because I thought I won’t get anybody like you again. To prove a point to me, you decided to come and see my family so we start our marriage process. All those moments gave me joy and I thanked God that all the 6 years I have stayed with you weren’t going to be wasted.
READ ALSO: He Developed A Timetable For All The Women In His Life, Including Me
The list was given and we started buying the items on the engagement list little by little. Then I got pregnant. It didn’t bother me because I thought I was almost getting married. Little did I know that you didn’t like the idea of me being pregnant. Your reason was that I wasn’t working and it will be difficult doing it all alone. When I refused to get rid of the child, you began to change. Your calls never came as frequent as they used to come. Our conversation on the phone lasted less than a minute. You stopped visiting me and you left me to my fate with the pregnancy.
Your sudden attitude broke me day by day but thank God for the kind of family I had, they stood by me throughout the whole time. Do you remember the confrontation you had with my brother over the phone? You used that to run away from your responsibilities. You came to visit only when I needed medicine. All this while, you were busy dating another woman, not even your baby mama anymore. After I delivered, you came to visit a few times but you refused to name the child. I took it upon myself to name the child and decided that my baby will bear your family name. She’s bearing your name because I know one day you will come in search of her.
In October she will be four years old and has a striking resemblance to you. Anybody that sees her knows you are her father. You thought you were punishing me when you abandoned her on me, but let me tell you something, you have lost an angel and I always thank God for bringing her into my life.
I heard you are married, but I hope you turn a new leaf in your life and stay true to women. Don’t take advantage of women because as you can see, it’s not for nothing that you are giving birth to girls. What goes around surely will come around. I thank God I decided to liberate myself from you because I’m sure I would have died young living with a man like you. I know one day you will trace your steps backwards in search of her but I pray that day never comes.
—Yawa
Do you have any relationship experience to share? Please email it to [email protected]
NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG
#SB
