You couldn’t have peeled my wife off me when we first got married. By that I mean, she was always glued to me. We were inseparable. Everywhere I went, she went. And everywhere she went, she dragged me along. Our relationship had always been like that. Right from the moment we met on campus, I knew in my spirit that she was the woman fashioned out of my rib. She radiated warmth, and there was this raw sexuality about her that just tugged at my heart. Before I even spoke to her I told myself, “I am going to marry this girl.”

When we finally started dating, it was difficult to keep my hands off her. Everything about her stoked the flames of my desire for her. And she always welcomed my needs with hers. We were both obsessed with each other. She was insatiable and so was I. That’s why we were so perfect for each other. She never made me feel bad or horrible for always wanting her. We were both very happy. We were very young when we completed school. Things worked out well for us in terms of finances. Our love and bond had also grown thicker. There was no point in wasting time with many more years of dating.

One day I told her, “I love the fact that we make each other happy in every way. But there is one thing I am not happy about.” Her face wrinkled in concern as she asked, “What is it? What am I not doing right?” I laughed lightly and shook my head, “Nothing babe, you are just so perfect for me. That’s why I’m not happy that we haven’t made our relationship official yet. I want to stop calling you my girlfriend and start calling you my wife. How soon can we do that?” I felt her relax as laughter vibrated through her. She then punched my arm lightly, “Ah, you gave me a scare. Couldn’t you have found a less dramatic way to ask me to marry you?” “Is that a yes?” I asked her. She nodded and kissed me, “Yes, you idiot.” And needless to say, we both had a ‘happy ending’ after that conversation.

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So we were high on love, and youth when we stood before a congregation of witnesses in a beautiful ceremony and exchanged our marriage vows. The early stages of our marriage were even more intense than our relationship. There was more passion and more desire in everything we did. It was beautiful. I lived in another town because of work, but every time I came home was magical. Then one day the fruits of our pleasure became manifested. I came home from work one day to find my wife with a pregnancy test kit in her hands. “It’s two stripes,” she said. I watched her face for a reaction but her expression was neutral. So I asked, “Is that good news or bad news?” “It means I’m pregnant. I am not sure how I feel about it.” I was happy so I shouted, “Yes!” She gave me a weary look and walked away.

Later I asked her, “What’s wrong? This is a blessing. We should be celebrating.” She looked at me and said, “Because you are a man you won’t understand. This changes everything for me. My life, my body, and my career. Everything will change. I need time to process things.” I tried to lighten her mood by initiating shuperu but she pushed me away, “Now is not the time for this.” It was the first time she had ever rejected me, and it stung. But I also understood that she was going through something I couldn’t understand so I gave her space.

As time went on she started to feel positive about the pregnancy. She was a chatterbox full of plans we had to put in place for the arrival of the baby. Her warmth had returned and I was so happy. However, every time I tried to go near her she would push me away, “No, you will hurt the baby.” “I will be gentle,” I often pleaded. Sometimes it worked. She would let me do one round. Other times she would blatantly refuse. It was difficult for me to keep it together but I did. I told myself, “Maybe when the baby arrives she will change. Right now she is just being protective of our child.”

After delivery, I was expecting to get my wife back. I was hoping she would return to the insatiable woman I married. I thought she would tell me she misses me every time I am away for work. But none of that has happened. I would come home on weekends and my wife would be completely indifferent to my presence. I would try to initiate some bonding time between us and she would act like I am bothering her. Sometimes I had to plead for her attention. When she finally decides that I am worthy of it, I would then have to plead with her to let me touch her. On my lucky days, she would let me do one round.
Playing The Role Of A Mother And A Wife Affected Our Sex Life–Beads Media

It was difficult for me to contain myself around her, and not have her the way I wanted to, but what choice did I have? I taught myself to exercise restraint when she turns me down. Although it is always frustrating because of how young and active I am. I spoke to her several times to try to understand what the problem is, but she would just shrug and tell me, “I told you everything will change. I am dealing with my end of the change so you too manage yours. Hopefully, things will get better soon.” I really hoped that things would change but she got pregnant again. The second pregnancy even made things worse. During the entire pregnancy, she allowed me to touch her only twice.

I am not going to lie, sometimes I get tempted to look outside for satisfaction but I have kept the sanctity of my marriage because I don’t want to be the one who breaks the family. I am very attractive so a lot of women have come my way, and tried several times to let me know that they are available. But I know the consequences of adultery will be dire for my marriage so I ignore them. It is a hard situation I find myself in, and that’s why I understand Ace’s story. However, I haven’t lost hope yet. I’m believing that as time goes on things will change for the better.

–Lucas

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