It started with kindness. She would give me a present and I will say thank you. She would ask me to do a chore for her one day and I would do it happily because I knew her heart and the good she was capable of doing. One Saturday afternoon, I was with her when she asked me, “From here where will you go?” I answered, “Home.” She queried, “Don’t you have any life to live apart from staying home every day? Don’t you have friends? Don’t you have a girlfriend you will visit or will come to visit you? It looks like apart from being in the house, you have no other life to live.”

I told her, “I have friends but they are not the kind I will visit and spend a lot of time with. Some days we meet and talk but that’s all about it.” She asked again, “How about a girlfriend?” I said, “Nooo, I don’t have  a girlfriend.” She gave me a look that indicated that she didn’t trust what I was saying. When I was about to leave, she said, “I’m going out too so wait for me. I will take you to a good place and then you’ll go home afterwards.” 

We ended up in a bar where there were other women her age. Immediately we entered, they all shifted their attention to me. I took a seat and from there the conversation went undertone. They didn’t speak loud enough. When they wanted to ask her a question, they would take their lips closer to her ears and whisper their words. I felt left out but then everyone smiled at me so I felt welcomed. One of the women, who I later came to know as Aggie passed a comment I felt was funny. She said, “This one looks innocent but you have to fear those guys. They can kill you if you allow them.” I didn’t get what she meant so I took it literally. I didn’t make a comment but Aunt Esi spoke in my defence and I felt protected.

The drinks they brought were alcoholic. I didn’t say no though I wasn’t an alcohol person. I took a glass or two but when I realized I was getting to my tipping point, I stopped and watched them as they spoke to one another. Soon we left the place. I was sitting next to her in the car when she said, “I hope you get where this is going. Those women you met are my friends. They all like you. They think you’ll be a good boyfriend but you’ll have to prove it to me first.” I was like, “A good boyfriend? To who?” She said, “Come off it. Don’t pretend you don’t know where this is leading to. You’re not a child so stop behaving like one.” 

I was twenty-five and indeed wasn’t a child but I hadn’t dated a woman her age before. I was shy and it was obvious. She told me, “I know it’s strange to you but with time, everything would be alright. You’ll know me for who I am and you’ll love me more.” We went back to her place and spent the night there. The alcohol in my system helped a lot. When we got there I drank more of it just to cover my shame. It was a good night. Whatever she wanted, I did it for her and she was gentle with me. It was a short night but we were able to squeeze three rounds in there. I still was shy afterwards. She gave me money and asked me to come back in the evening only if I felt like seeing her again.

I went home and thought about the whole thing and I was like, “Oh wow, is this what they call sugar mommy?” I counted the money and dreamt of all the things I could buy with it. I asked, “So if I keep playing ball with her, things are going to be easier like that? Wow, then let’s keep it going.” 

I called her and asked what she wanted when I’m coming around. She said, “Oh wow, you know how to treat a woman.” She asked for a particular drink and I  bought it on my way there. Again, there was a night together, not just a night but a good night together. I was living with a friend and she knew it. She promised to get me my own place if I stayed true to her. The friend I was living with didn’t understand my transformation. He thought I’d won the lottery. Whenever he needed money, I gave it to him. He asked, “Tell me what the secret is and I won’t tell anyone.” I kept it to myself because a secret is supposed to be a secret. 

The next time we visited her friends again, Aunt Esi introduced me to them as her boyfriend. I thought they were going to freak out but surprisingly they were cool. They even passed advice around to me and taught me how to behave to be able to last in the relationship.

Two years later, I was still in a relationship with aunt Esi. The only difference was, I’d dropped the Aunt and was calling her Esi. She acted overly jealous sometimes but I understood her. She didn’t want anyone to come between us. I did all I could to give her that assurance. One afternoon, she sent me to one of her friends, Aggie. She gave me her number and asked me to deliver something to her in her shop. I called Aggie and she told me she was in the house so I should come there instead. She gave me directions and I hopped into an Uber to her house. After I made the delivery, I asked permission to leave. She went inside, came back and handed me an envelope. She said, “Open it. Whatever is inside is yours.”

I opened it and saw money. She said, “Don’t tell Esi you came to my house. She tells me you’re very good so I want you to prove it to me. If you convince me, I will take good care of you than her.” I looked at the money and thought about the request. The money could solve a lot of issues in my life so I told myself, “Why not?” 

I started dividing my time so I could service both of them equally but Aggie didn’t stop making demands of me. At night she would call. She would call me non-stop when she knows I’m with Esi. She would be sending me text messages as if I’d been stolen. Even at dawn when we were supposed to be sleeping, she would call me on a video call. She was doing everything to take me away from Esi. Esi saw the distraction and started putting one and one together. She asked if I had a new girlfriend and I denied it. She asked if I was seeing any of her friends and I screamed, “How could you even think of that?” 

unbeknownst to me, she already knew what was going on but was fishing for more evidence. One night I was with her when Aggie called. Her name had been saved as Arthur just to keep things safe. Esi said, “Pick up the call and talk to the person. I said, “Don’t bother about him. He doesn’t have any sensible thing to say. Just ignore him.” When the next call came she quickly dashed for my phone and answered. Aggie thought she was talking to me so she started ranting on and on. All Esi said was, “Aggie is that you?” 

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I thought she was going to do something to me so I ran from the house and left my phone with her. She got the time to go through our chats and got the full gist of it. She got infuriated and it turned into a heavy fight in their squad. I didn’t have a phone so no one could reach me. I left the house and went to stay with another friend. One day, my friend called and asked what was going on. He said, “Every night a woman comes around to look for you and she would hang around for several hours before she leaves.” That got me more scared so I stayed put with my new friend for a long while. I got a new phone and bought a new Sim. The day I put the Sim on the phone, Esi called. A few hours later, Aggie also called. Esi said, “I don’t blame you and I’m not angry with you. Just come over and let’s talk about it.” Aggie also made the same attempt to get me on her side. She said, “Now, there’s nothing to hide. Just come over and we’ll take it from there. “

I had no intention of going back to any of them. A woman’s scorn is too deadly to joke around with so I told Esi, “I’m sorry about everything but I’m thankful for everything you’ve done for me. I’m not coming back again. I need to put my life in order and do something for myself. ” She asked, “Are you going to Aggie?” I answered no. She said, “It better be true.” Aggie was pleading. She didn’t behave as if she owned me. She rather asked pleadingly. I said no to her too.

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I had enough on me to rent a new place and start a new life without them. I did it for over a year. I hid under the radar and lived a calm life until recently I walked into Esi. She still likes me and wants to start something with me again. I told her I had a woman I’m getting married to very soon. She didn’t believe me because I didn’t look believable. She said, “A man who’s getting married is easily noticed. You’re not one of them. She calls every day and we talk. I haven’t shown her my new place but she has something I like and that’s what is drawing me to her slowly; The money. Being with her is a source of easy money but I’m scared of what she will do to me if she hasn’t genuinely forgiven me. 

—Jay-Jay

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