Kweku and I dated for a year without any problems. Things were very rosy and beautiful between us. He was always there for me, and he barely got angry with me. If I did anything to upset him, he would talk about it calmly and I’d listen and apologize. We were so in sync with each other. There was no doubt in my heart that he was the love of my life. And I was convinced that I was also the love of his life.

 For the first year of our relationship, we were truly happy. Then in the second year, I got pregnant. That was the beginning of our end. I remember the day I told him, “I am pregnant.” He didn’t look troubled. His reaction was, “Even though this is unplanned, I will support whatever you decide to do with it.” I loved him, and I was working as a nurse so I decided that I would keep the baby. When I told him my decision he was fine with it. What I didn’t know was that Kweku had another woman in his life. And she got to know about the pregnancy. I don’t know what she said to him but he came to me asking that I get rid of the pregnancy. 

I told him, “You said you would support my decision and I have decided to keep it. So accept it and let’s move forward.” He begged me but I wasn’t moved. Then he got angry and started threatening my life but I still stood my ground and told him, “I will not do what you want. I will birth this innocent child no matter what you do. So stop what you are doing and get on board with the baby.” When he realized he wouldn’t get his way, he cut me off. We lived in the same town but he forbade me from visiting him. He stopped talking to me or texting me. It was as if I was dead to him. I started to question if he ever loved me. 

I went through my first trimester alone. When my mother found out that he wasn’t involved in my life anymore she called him. That was when he came around and started playing the doting boyfriend and the expecting father. He went back to the loving person he used to be. He provided for my needs and made sure I was comfortable. Even on days that he was broke, he shared his little with me. I thought I was getting my man back until I found out that the other woman in his life packed her bags and moved in with him. It started a whole lot of drama but I stayed out of it. I didn’t want to do anything to stress myself and the baby. I told myself, “He is a man, at the end of the day he knows what he wants and he will choose whom he wants.” 

When it was time for labour, I called him to take me to the hospital and he came. He was there with me every step of the way. I was in labour for a long time and the baby was in distress so they had to do an emergency CS. After delivery, we spent about two weeks at the hospital before we were discharged. Through it all, Kweku was by my side. At home too, he visited us every day and helped me to take care of the baby. We were like one small happy family, and I believed that our relationship was going to be fine. What even made me more concrete in my belief was that he had told my pastor that he was making preparations to marry me. So I was very convinced that he had chosen me over the other woman.

However, When our child was barely nine months old I started hearing whispers in the wind. The news was that Kweku was getting married but it was not to me. I was shocked. I asked him about it and he said, “Don’t believe everything you hear. People like to talk.” Honestly, I was tempted to believe him because we were in a good place. We didn’t have any problems or any fights, but based on his track record I couldn’t just take his word for it. So I went to his family and asked them. They told me, “Kweku is getting married and we don’t know anything about it? That’s not possible. Don’t mind those rumour mongers.” I didn’t think his family would lie to cover up for him so I believed them.

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But it happened that the rumours were true. Kweku got married to the other woman with his family’s support. I was hurt about it but not as hurt as I was about the lies he told and the fact that his family covered for him. I was very bitter for a while but my family consoled me and asked me to leave everything to God. I am a very calm and peaceful person so that’s what I did. I left him to God. I focused on my child and also went back to school to upgrade myself. Currently, our child is two and a half years old, and Kwaku has completely washed his hands off the child. He stopped taking care of her when she turned one.

I have exhausted every means to bring him to take care of the child but it was all unsuccessful. He has gone to tell his family that our child is not his so he won’t be responsible for her anymore. I don’t know how I wronged this guy for him to treat me like this. Anytime I go on my knees I ask God to show him mercy because there’s a lot of anguish in my heart against him. I don’t understand how he took my love and turned it into something ugly. I don’t know why he treats me as though I am his worst enemy. I am the one he lied to yet I never uttered any word against him when he got married. 

Right now I am combining school with work while taking care of my child alone. It’s not been easy at all, especially on the financial front. I sell home appliances to support my salary but I don’t earn much from it, and I have other people I take care of. Sometimes I even find it difficult to pay my fees and all I want to do is give up. But I look at my daughter and I see hope. I see a reason to strive hard and keep pushing. I want her to be proud of me someday so I will go through these dark moments bravely. Her father is a big disappointment but I don’t regret the decision I made to keep her. I pray I give her a better life than I had. Please keep us in your prayers. 

—Yaayaa

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